kgr103110

Hi all... I'm just checking in.

Something I've been told by several people both recently and in times past: Alcohol or drug abuse/addiction is a symptom of a deeper problem. It's the way we learn to cope with the underlying issue(s), and eventually leads to MORE problems.

One thing that feels different for me this time around is that I've done some soul-searching and decided to face the issues I've been hiding from for so many years. This is both scary and empowering. Some days I'm much more optimistic and determined than others.

What I've noticed, though, is that I'm not "white-knuckling" through my recovery now. Sure, I get a craving now and then, but I'm learning to manage them. Hurting myself because I'm overwhelmed or whatnot is counterproductive. I won't do it anymore.

Understanding that alcohol and drug abuse is (at least for me) a symptom of something greater has been a turning point on my journey. Will I ever be able to drink moderately? No. I accept the consequences of my destructive substance abuse, and that is one of them.

But addressing what lies beneath has given me a more rounded recovery. I'm healing as a person - not just drying out.

Thanks, and I hope everyone is doing well

wpainterw

If it works for you then that's the thing you should be doing. But be careful. If you reach the point where you think you have "resolved" the underlying issues that does not mean that you can drink moderately. Back in 1961 I had a Freudian psychiatrist who assumed that all he had to do was help me resolve the underlying issues and then I would not drink. I "resolved" them and then drank for 37 years off and on (mostly on with a seven year period of "sobriety"). Now I've been sober for 28 years. I keep finding out more and more about myself, but never completely "resolving" stuff. But I continue sober. That's what counts.

W.

2ndhandrose

wise words, painter

underneath it all, I still remain unable to control my drinking, no matter what trauma gets resolved.

kgr

Anna

I agree with you that drinking/drugs are often symptoms of issues that are causing problems in our lives. So, we need to stop using drugs/alcohol, and we need to deal with underlying issues in order to recover .

Avra

Hi, my take on this - and I am no expert, is that underlying issues may lead to substance abuse, but once addicted it becomes its own problem. I quit drinking which is allowing me to work on my anxiety and identity issues, but i will remain alcoholic.

january161992

you and i ...

... we are the same!

SnazzyDresser

I think this is true of a lot of people, but I don't think that's necessarily true of everyone.

bluedog97

Great topic. Im one who definitely has underlying issues. I think a thought process that has kept me in a rut is something bad that happened when I was younger. I tell myself if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be an alcoholic. This is severly erroneous thinking. And dangerous.

I have many underlying issues, regrets, guilt, shame, remorse over drinking and other things. I just hope I can finally stop turning to alcohol to deal with them.

Centered3

I agree. It's what we used as a solution to our problem.
Something to also keep in mind - recovered but never cured.
It's a daily reprieve.

wpainterw

O.K. I'm not shy any more. I can kiss girls (women, actually-I'm nearly 90). But I've acquired other underlying issues. I'm in love with my dog. I have a female friend but I'm in love with her cat. Would counseling help on these issues? Do I want to drink to resolve them? Answer is no to both questions. But some counselors seem to think that counseling always helps with any issue. I wonder why they say this!

kgr103110

I can't tell if this is meant as a joke or not lol... not quite the "issues" I was referring to.

wpainterw

It's very simple. What is an "issue"? Is an "issue" any form of behavior which to some folks may seem peculiar? See Jimmy Stewart in the movie, "Harvey". Did his obsession that he was always accompanied by his great friend, Harvey, an oversized white rabbit, hurt anyone? Actually it gave him serenity and a way to focus his affection on other people. But a counselor might diagnose it as a sign of mental illness. If I have two grandchildren whom I never see might it be helpful to displace some of that lost affection on my dog or my friend's cat? What may seem an "issue" to some, particularly a "health care provider" with a commercial interest, may be little more than a way human nature can accustom itself to what otherwise might be unpleasant and harmful in other ways (such as causing a person to self medicate or drink or try to "explain" away his drinking by saying, e.g., "My wife drove me to it!").

W.