4 years sober then 1 year drinking :-(
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Auckland
Posts: 73
I don't think it's at all unusual, Michael. I quit for five years, thought I could have one glass of wine with my birthday dinner, and fell back into heavy drinking for another three years. I wasn't fully committed the first time. Even though I was sober, I couldn't imagine getting through the rest of my life without another drink. It seemed completely unrealistic! Now I 100% can (on my 8th day today) - and I'm very, very happy about it.
Welcome back - looking forward to reading your posts
Welcome back - looking forward to reading your posts
Recovering
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Originally Posted by 48heath 
I remember you as well Michael,welcome back.
I have left SR since then and returned with a different username.
Have you a plan in place?
I have left SR since then and returned with a different username.
Have you a plan in place?
I think two significant things happened last year. First I stopped protecting my early morning quiet time. I thought it more 'useful' to do more work. But it meant I eventually needed to look for chemical relaxation after the end of a long day. The second is that I stopped coming here towards the end of 2015 (the and a half years being sober here), which I think allowed me to start kidding myself that alcohol addiction is a passing phase that we can get past. Yes, incredibly dumb! This time around I will protect those two things which, in hindsight, seem much more important than I realised at the time.
Last time I gave up I was miserable for three months. I'm prepared to go through that again. Maybe it will be better or shorter this time around, but I'd rather be pessimistic and be prepared for a long slog if needed.
The warmth and encouragement here means so much to me. It would be so much harder without it. And this time I'll stick around :-)
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
It's so good to see you back with us, Michael - but I'm sorry for your misery.
I did it too. I was sober 3 yrs. & decided I could have some wine. Gone for 7 yrs. It was so hard to get back on track - but at least we knew our 'experiment' failed. I know now I can't touch a drop.
Congrats on your sober time, Michael.
I did it too. I was sober 3 yrs. & decided I could have some wine. Gone for 7 yrs. It was so hard to get back on track - but at least we knew our 'experiment' failed. I know now I can't touch a drop.
Congrats on your sober time, Michael.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hi Michael,
I drank again after being a nondrinker for 10 years. I very quickly escalated back to drinking daily and blacking out and I did that for a full seven years; the last 2 years I added benzos to the already firmly rooted crazy I was in and came completely undone. Complete drug/alcohol induced psychotic break.
I'm coming up on 10 years as a non-drinker. The difference this time is that there is absolutely no question in my mind as to whether drinking will ever be an option. That field research has been thoroughly completed.
Glad you're back.
I drank again after being a nondrinker for 10 years. I very quickly escalated back to drinking daily and blacking out and I did that for a full seven years; the last 2 years I added benzos to the already firmly rooted crazy I was in and came completely undone. Complete drug/alcohol induced psychotic break.
I'm coming up on 10 years as a non-drinker. The difference this time is that there is absolutely no question in my mind as to whether drinking will ever be an option. That field research has been thoroughly completed.
Glad you're back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
Hi Michael,
Glad that you were able to find your way back.
Like you, I had some sober time under my belt until about a year ago. Not nearly as much sober time as you, but still enough to feel pretty good about. Then I had 'a' beer...just one because I was on spring vacation...and that brought on 9.5 months of the worst alcoholic purgatory anyone could imagine. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I say we make that our last go-round
ABW1
Glad that you were able to find your way back.
Like you, I had some sober time under my belt until about a year ago. Not nearly as much sober time as you, but still enough to feel pretty good about. Then I had 'a' beer...just one because I was on spring vacation...and that brought on 9.5 months of the worst alcoholic purgatory anyone could imagine. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I say we make that our last go-round
ABW1
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Originally Posted by Michael66
I still find this early stage horrible.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
I never made it to four years, but did get about 15 months under my belt. I then drank sporadically for the year. I still believe that sobriety is the best path to take, but getting those 15 months under my belt was life changing despite my later slips. The lessons I took away from it will stay with me for a long time. If you've done four years, you must be full of wisdom. You understand the theory, but more importantly you know how, and that you *can* put it all into practice.
Nobody is perfect. I wish that I had a longer streak, but I'm still proud of what I have done. You should be too. So don't dwell on it & just get back into it!
Nobody is perfect. I wish that I had a longer streak, but I'm still proud of what I have done. You should be too. So don't dwell on it & just get back into it!
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