4 years 11 months sober and scared from this festive season
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4 years 11 months sober and scared from this festive season
Hi all
Some of you might recognize me. I quit alcohol 4 years and 11 months ago.
Yes great achievement. It was hard only for the first 2 weeks - 1 year, later it got a lot easier.
For some reason Im a bit scared this year. Festive season is approaching and Im not sure how I feel about it.
Today Im going to the party and I don't care about drinks. Honestly!
Im worried celebrating Christmas at my parents. My parents and my boyfriend only drink on special occasions but for some reason Im so jealous this year!!!!!!!!!!! I envy them already! They will be enjoying their drinks and I will be watching.
Can someone help me please?
Thanks
Some of you might recognize me. I quit alcohol 4 years and 11 months ago.
Yes great achievement. It was hard only for the first 2 weeks - 1 year, later it got a lot easier.
For some reason Im a bit scared this year. Festive season is approaching and Im not sure how I feel about it.
Today Im going to the party and I don't care about drinks. Honestly!
Im worried celebrating Christmas at my parents. My parents and my boyfriend only drink on special occasions but for some reason Im so jealous this year!!!!!!!!!!! I envy them already! They will be enjoying their drinks and I will be watching.
Can someone help me please?
Thanks
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
I just suggest playing the tape through. Who wants just one drink? Not me. I know if I have one it will lead to more until I blackout and I will feel self-loating, guilt and a hangover tomorrow. It is so not worth it.
Stay strong, you are not missing out on anything. It is poison really.
Stay strong, you are not missing out on anything. It is poison really.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
What scares you and why?
I shared this sort of logic problem in another thread where someone said they were afraid they might relapse after a long period of sobriety... like five years plus..
Every morning for 4 years and 11 months I have toast for breakfast and throw a couple scraps of crust out my window for the birds, and every morning for 4 years and 11 months the birds come and they eat it. This morning I woke up feeling anxiety because I wasn't sure if I would make toast and whether if I did I would throw the crust to the birds, and whether if I did the birds would come and eat it as they have for the past four years and 11 months.
What is going on here? Why did I wake up this morning thinking that way? Does it make sense, why or why not? What should I tell myself instead?
I shared this sort of logic problem in another thread where someone said they were afraid they might relapse after a long period of sobriety... like five years plus..
Every morning for 4 years and 11 months I have toast for breakfast and throw a couple scraps of crust out my window for the birds, and every morning for 4 years and 11 months the birds come and they eat it. This morning I woke up feeling anxiety because I wasn't sure if I would make toast and whether if I did I would throw the crust to the birds, and whether if I did the birds would come and eat it as they have for the past four years and 11 months.
What is going on here? Why did I wake up this morning thinking that way? Does it make sense, why or why not? What should I tell myself instead?
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Originally Posted by HTown 
I just suggest playing the tape through. Who wants just one drink? Not me. I know if I have one it will lead to more until I blackout and I will feel self-loating, guilt and a hangover tomorrow. It is so not worth it.
Stay strong, you are not missing out on anything. It is poison really.
Stay strong, you are not missing out on anything. It is poison really.
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
What scares you and why?
I shared this sort of logic problem in another thread where someone said they were afraid they might relapse after a long period of sobriety... like five years plus..
Every morning for 4 years and 11 months I have toast for breakfast and throw a couple scraps of crust out my window for the birds, and every morning for 4 years and 11 months the birds come and they eat it. This morning I woke up feeling anxiety because I wasn't sure if I would make toast and whether if I did I would throw the crust to the birds, and whether if I did the birds would come and eat it as they have for the past four years and 11 months.
What is going on here? Why did I wake up this morning thinking that way? Does it make sense, why or why not? What should I tell myself instead?
I shared this sort of logic problem in another thread where someone said they were afraid they might relapse after a long period of sobriety... like five years plus..
Every morning for 4 years and 11 months I have toast for breakfast and throw a couple scraps of crust out my window for the birds, and every morning for 4 years and 11 months the birds come and they eat it. This morning I woke up feeling anxiety because I wasn't sure if I would make toast and whether if I did I would throw the crust to the birds, and whether if I did the birds would come and eat it as they have for the past four years and 11 months.
What is going on here? Why did I wake up this morning thinking that way? Does it make sense, why or why not? What should I tell myself instead?
But I just can't stand the thought sitting at the table with the closest people in the world and watching them enjoy their booze.
I won't drink I know that for sure. I will be very moody, thats my problem. May be I can pretend Im happy just to keep other people happy.
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Originally Posted by thomas11
Has anything changed recently that has made you consider drinking after 5 years of sobriety?
Its a great achievement. Id rather eat poison than drink!!!!! One glass will destroy me.
Nothing has really changed. My boyfriend rarely drinks, but when he does that makes me very anxious. He never drinks at home only on special occasions. I guess Im just jealous he can control his drink intake and I can't.
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Something to add. I think this is what triggers my thoughts about the drink.
Ive been trying to conceive a baby for 1,5 years. All tests and scans are fine. Doctor thinks I am too healthy (his words). He told me to try and relax. Have a GLASS OF WINE!
Its an awful thing to say!!!! I am addict, I can't have drink.
Then my friend got pregnant after 5 years of trying and all she did was had a glass of wine. And she keeps saying: just had a glass of wine and you will relax.
So what can I do to relax?
Ive been trying to conceive a baby for 1,5 years. All tests and scans are fine. Doctor thinks I am too healthy (his words). He told me to try and relax. Have a GLASS OF WINE!
Its an awful thing to say!!!! I am addict, I can't have drink.
Then my friend got pregnant after 5 years of trying and all she did was had a glass of wine. And she keeps saying: just had a glass of wine and you will relax.
So what can I do to relax?
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Those people who said that to you don't understand. You know that a glass of wine isn't going to help you get pregnant. That's crazy.
If you need to relax, take up lap-swimming or running or weight lifting. Knitting!
What kind of doctor says you're too healthy? I'd be doctor shopping.
If you need to relax, take up lap-swimming or running or weight lifting. Knitting!
What kind of doctor says you're too healthy? I'd be doctor shopping.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
Those people who said that to you don't understand. You know that a glass of wine isn't going to help you get pregnant. That's crazy.
If you need to relax, take up lap-swimming or running or weight lifting. Knitting!
What kind of doctor says you're too healthy? I'd be doctor shopping.
If you need to relax, take up lap-swimming or running or weight lifting. Knitting!
What kind of doctor says you're too healthy? I'd be doctor shopping.
I know glass of something will only destroy me. So I won't do that.
I like the idea of knitting
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It's good to see you HF - and wonderful to hear you have a bf and are trying for a baby
Thoughts and fears happen all the time - I think it's a measure of our recovery how we deal with them..you came here, and asked for help...I think you'll be just fine.
Keep doing what you did all those other Christmases
D
Thoughts and fears happen all the time - I think it's a measure of our recovery how we deal with them..you came here, and asked for help...I think you'll be just fine.
Keep doing what you did all those other Christmases
D
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Originally Posted by Healthyfood
I like the idea of knitting
Do you know how to knit? These days you can find just about anything you want to learn on You Tube in instructional videos.
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Originally Posted by Healthyfood
I am scared of spoil other people's festive spirit. Being addicted to alcohol is my problem and its very selfish to be grumpy at other people who do drink only twice a year.
But I just can't stand the thought sitting at the table with the closest people in the world and watching them enjoy their booze.
I won't drink I know that for sure. I will be very moody, thats my problem. May be I can pretend Im happy just to keep other people happy.
But I just can't stand the thought sitting at the table with the closest people in the world and watching them enjoy their booze.
I won't drink I know that for sure. I will be very moody, thats my problem. May be I can pretend Im happy just to keep other people happy.
Nothing is going to happen to you if they drink and you don't. You aren't missing out on anything because you're abstaining from something that hurts you.
It's almost like the way I felt at my Thanksgiving table this year... I ate a reasonable amount of food and thoroughly enjoyed it. I felt satisfied when I was done, not stuffed or uncomfortable. Yet I watched other people at the table who started out with twice the amount of food on their plates that I started with finish that and then help themselves to seconds, thirds, and fourths of some items. And I kid you not, they teased me about hardly eating. I had a serving of everything, and not just a bite or two, at least four or five, of everything. That's plenty. I didn't gorge like everybody else and some felt the need to point that out. Is that going to make me feel like I'm in some way missing out on something? Why should I eat like a pig until my stomach is bursting just because they are? Why should I feel out of place for not following suit with them?
Do what is right for you and feel good about that. You don't need to drink to enjoy a party any more than I needed to gorge myself to enjoy Thanskgiving dinner. Furthermore, the people that pointed out I had eaten less than them probably felt insecure about the amount they had eaten. Likewise, anyone who mentions that you aren't drinking probably feels insecure about their drinking. Sorry not sorry. Cause we are talking about overindulgences here.
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Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
It's one of the most relaxing things I've done Healthyfood. Years ago I learned how to make a sweater. I still know how to knit and purl and cast on. Don't remember how to cast off so I'm in big trouble when my sobriety scarf is done. It didn't even start out as a scarf. I just started knitting and knitting and knitting. It's meditation for me now.
Do you know how to knit? These days you can find just about anything you want to learn on You Tube in instructional videos.
Do you know how to knit? These days you can find just about anything you want to learn on You Tube in instructional videos.
I sell stuff online and photograph my own photos, then edit them in Photoshop. This keeps me busy and relaxed too. I suppose any arts and crafts is very helpful while recovering.
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
I misunderstood, I thought you were afraid of relapsing.
Nothing is going to happen to you if they drink and you don't. You aren't missing out on anything because you're abstaining from something that hurts you.
It's almost like the way I felt at my Thanksgiving table this year... I ate a reasonable amount of food and thoroughly enjoyed it. I felt satisfied when I was done, not stuffed or uncomfortable. Yet I watched other people at the table who started out with twice the amount of food on their plates that I started with finish that and then help themselves to seconds, thirds, and fourths of some items. And I kid you not, they teased me about hardly eating. I had a serving of everything, and not just a bite or two, at least four or five, of everything. That's plenty. I didn't gorge like everybody else and some felt the need to point that out. Is that going to make me feel like I'm in some way missing out on something? Why should I eat like a pig until my stomach is bursting just because they are? Why should I feel out of place for not following suit with them?
Do what is right for you and feel good about that. You don't need to drink to enjoy a party any more than I needed to gorge myself to enjoy Thanskgiving dinner. Furthermore, the people that pointed out I had eaten less than them probably felt insecure about the amount they had eaten. Likewise, anyone who mentions that you aren't drinking probably feels insecure about their drinking. Sorry not sorry. Cause we are talking about overindulgences here.
Nothing is going to happen to you if they drink and you don't. You aren't missing out on anything because you're abstaining from something that hurts you.
It's almost like the way I felt at my Thanksgiving table this year... I ate a reasonable amount of food and thoroughly enjoyed it. I felt satisfied when I was done, not stuffed or uncomfortable. Yet I watched other people at the table who started out with twice the amount of food on their plates that I started with finish that and then help themselves to seconds, thirds, and fourths of some items. And I kid you not, they teased me about hardly eating. I had a serving of everything, and not just a bite or two, at least four or five, of everything. That's plenty. I didn't gorge like everybody else and some felt the need to point that out. Is that going to make me feel like I'm in some way missing out on something? Why should I eat like a pig until my stomach is bursting just because they are? Why should I feel out of place for not following suit with them?
Do what is right for you and feel good about that. You don't need to drink to enjoy a party any more than I needed to gorge myself to enjoy Thanskgiving dinner. Furthermore, the people that pointed out I had eaten less than them probably felt insecure about the amount they had eaten. Likewise, anyone who mentions that you aren't drinking probably feels insecure about their drinking. Sorry not sorry. Cause we are talking about overindulgences here.
Food will satisfy me and I will be first awake next day ha ha.
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