4 years 11 months sober and scared from this festive season
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I suppose you could try turning it around and feel grateful that your family and boyfriend are healthy and happy and can enjoy their drinks in a safe manner. Try to have some calm and quiet time to yourself prior and meditate or pray on the fact that you feel happy for them. It sounds ridiculous after the concerns you have posted but could be something to try. I sometimes suffer with the drinking jealousy as well but I try to concentrate on the fact that I am happy that my loved ones do not have to suffer the fate of alcoholism like I have. It is not something I would wish on my worst enemy, much less those I love.
As for relaxing yourself, knitting and art is a great idea. What about becoming a tea expert? There are so many different teas out there. You could buy yourself a book on teas and tea production and become a tea connoisseur. Not just drink it and enjoy it but also gain knowledge and make it a special thing for you.
Forgive me if the following sounds insensitive to your pregnancy struggles, I know it is a sensitive/tough subject, and no one likes to hear "be patient" when desiring something so much, but this is very much from the heart.
I have two boys. They are both wonderful and mine and their father's and each is very different from the other. I sometimes marvel at the fact how two beings could come from the same parents, the same genetic DNA and each be so unique with their own quirks and personalities and one has a little mole just above his lip and one no, one has the most delicious blondish curls and the other thick, wavy hair. One is delicate and sensitive and the other very strong willed and puts up "do not enter" signs on his bedroom door. I think often of the fact that they would not be exactly who they are had they not been conceived at the exact moment that they were. When your child comes she or he will be that one special one that would not be like any other human in the entire world had she or he not been conceived at that exact moment. It is surely frustrating and maybe painful to wait and try but I would almost guarantee that when your baby arrives you will think "this is the one, I wouldn't have it any other way"
Again, I hope my words can be of comfort, not add additional annoyance or frustration. Best wishes to you.
As for relaxing yourself, knitting and art is a great idea. What about becoming a tea expert? There are so many different teas out there. You could buy yourself a book on teas and tea production and become a tea connoisseur. Not just drink it and enjoy it but also gain knowledge and make it a special thing for you.
Forgive me if the following sounds insensitive to your pregnancy struggles, I know it is a sensitive/tough subject, and no one likes to hear "be patient" when desiring something so much, but this is very much from the heart.
I have two boys. They are both wonderful and mine and their father's and each is very different from the other. I sometimes marvel at the fact how two beings could come from the same parents, the same genetic DNA and each be so unique with their own quirks and personalities and one has a little mole just above his lip and one no, one has the most delicious blondish curls and the other thick, wavy hair. One is delicate and sensitive and the other very strong willed and puts up "do not enter" signs on his bedroom door. I think often of the fact that they would not be exactly who they are had they not been conceived at the exact moment that they were. When your child comes she or he will be that one special one that would not be like any other human in the entire world had she or he not been conceived at that exact moment. It is surely frustrating and maybe painful to wait and try but I would almost guarantee that when your baby arrives you will think "this is the one, I wouldn't have it any other way"
Again, I hope my words can be of comfort, not add additional annoyance or frustration. Best wishes to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Meraviglioso
Thank you so much for kind words. I like your idea of becoming a tea expert.
Ive done something similar. Ive become popular brand baby clothing expert. I sell them online, this keeps me busy and I love it.
I could not agree more about babies. They come into our lives when its the right time. All I need to do is wait and it will happen.
Your words made me feel better! Thank you so much
Thank you so much for kind words. I like your idea of becoming a tea expert.
Ive done something similar. Ive become popular brand baby clothing expert. I sell them online, this keeps me busy and I love it.
I could not agree more about babies. They come into our lives when its the right time. All I need to do is wait and it will happen.
Your words made me feel better! Thank you so much
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,327
Lovely post meravl
I too feel very jealous/ envious of my husband and close relatives drinking.... But I am ok with colleagues and strangers......
Not sure why either.... I too get grumpy with Mr p when he's drinking.... even when he's done nothing wrong.
So I too need to work this issue out with myself.
I love crochet too but can't immerse myself enough to keep from feeling left out.
Hope all goes well. Xx
I too feel very jealous/ envious of my husband and close relatives drinking.... But I am ok with colleagues and strangers......
Not sure why either.... I too get grumpy with Mr p when he's drinking.... even when he's done nothing wrong.
So I too need to work this issue out with myself.
I love crochet too but can't immerse myself enough to keep from feeling left out.
Hope all goes well. Xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
It's funny to read about knitting, because
I had never knitted or crochet in my life
until I entered recovery and that first yr.
sober I hand hooked a cute rug which I
never thought id be able to accomplish
and yet I did, sober.
I was still drinking when I had my 2 babies
back in 84 and 87 before entering recovery
in 90 and did drink some wine as I recall
being told to also relax and then worried
the rest of the pregnancy about my babies
inside and how alcohol was affecting them.
Thank God they came out so beautiful
and such precious little gifts.
This is one line that caught my attention.....
"I am scared of spoil other people's festive spirit"
When they are under the influence of a
controlled substance they will not care
what you think or do as sad as it sounds.
It is important for you to remember that
this is your life, your recovery, your sobriety
and you will do whatever is needed to protect
it because no one else will or be as passionate,
committed, responsible about it as you.
All those folks drinking will remain on that
merry go round of insanity, madness, where
you are already off of it and have been for
the past 4 yrs plus. Just thinking about it
makes me dizzy and there is no way in heck
I'm jumping back on. You know what I mean?
Before, for me, I didn't want to hurt other
folks feelings then one day I said I had had
enough and took control of my own life and
recovery and stood strong in doing what I
needed to do to remain sober each and
everyday.
Sure folks wouldn't and didn't understand,
but hey, that's not my problem because I
had tried so many time to explain my addiction
and recovery to them and I learned that I
couldn't and would never be able to make them
or change them to my liking, so I accepted that
situation, placed them in the Hands of my HP
and continued on with I needed to do to insure
I achieved health, happiness, honesty in all my
affairs.
I also learned over time that I didn't need
to feel uncomfortable in some of those
circumstances, family get togethers. Why
should I? Id make my appearance if necessary
and had my plan of escape to either return
home or attend a meeting where I knew Id
feel accepted, a part of, belong to, surrounded
by many who were similar to me.
Continue to build your strong solid foundation
each day you remain sober, protecting your
own recovery and sobriety and taking care
of yourself.
If you have Faith and believe your HP
is with you, protecting you, guiding you,
then in time, His time the miracle that
you are waiting for will happen. In the
meantime, there will be other small gifts
and miracles happening in your life to
experience and be grateful for.
With one HUGE Gift of living a sober life
for yourself.
I had never knitted or crochet in my life
until I entered recovery and that first yr.
sober I hand hooked a cute rug which I
never thought id be able to accomplish
and yet I did, sober.
I was still drinking when I had my 2 babies
back in 84 and 87 before entering recovery
in 90 and did drink some wine as I recall
being told to also relax and then worried
the rest of the pregnancy about my babies
inside and how alcohol was affecting them.
Thank God they came out so beautiful
and such precious little gifts.
This is one line that caught my attention.....
"I am scared of spoil other people's festive spirit"
When they are under the influence of a
controlled substance they will not care
what you think or do as sad as it sounds.
It is important for you to remember that
this is your life, your recovery, your sobriety
and you will do whatever is needed to protect
it because no one else will or be as passionate,
committed, responsible about it as you.
All those folks drinking will remain on that
merry go round of insanity, madness, where
you are already off of it and have been for
the past 4 yrs plus. Just thinking about it
makes me dizzy and there is no way in heck
I'm jumping back on. You know what I mean?
Before, for me, I didn't want to hurt other
folks feelings then one day I said I had had
enough and took control of my own life and
recovery and stood strong in doing what I
needed to do to remain sober each and
everyday.
Sure folks wouldn't and didn't understand,
but hey, that's not my problem because I
had tried so many time to explain my addiction
and recovery to them and I learned that I
couldn't and would never be able to make them
or change them to my liking, so I accepted that
situation, placed them in the Hands of my HP
and continued on with I needed to do to insure
I achieved health, happiness, honesty in all my
affairs.
I also learned over time that I didn't need
to feel uncomfortable in some of those
circumstances, family get togethers. Why
should I? Id make my appearance if necessary
and had my plan of escape to either return
home or attend a meeting where I knew Id
feel accepted, a part of, belong to, surrounded
by many who were similar to me.
Continue to build your strong solid foundation
each day you remain sober, protecting your
own recovery and sobriety and taking care
of yourself.
If you have Faith and believe your HP
is with you, protecting you, guiding you,
then in time, His time the miracle that
you are waiting for will happen. In the
meantime, there will be other small gifts
and miracles happening in your life to
experience and be grateful for.
With one HUGE Gift of living a sober life
for yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Petals
I went to works Christmas party. Had a 3 meal course. It was ok. By 9.30 pm most of people were drunk. All of a sudden I felt so alone there. My closer colleagues went outside to join festive activities.
I took that opportunity to leave. As I got my coat someone asked me if I was leaving. I said no, not yet and went outside to find my car. I felt so great to be home at 22pm! Got into my PJs and watched films on TV.
I don't care and I don't get jealous when I see strangers drink, I do care when my close people do.
I went to works Christmas party. Had a 3 meal course. It was ok. By 9.30 pm most of people were drunk. All of a sudden I felt so alone there. My closer colleagues went outside to join festive activities.
I took that opportunity to leave. As I got my coat someone asked me if I was leaving. I said no, not yet and went outside to find my car. I felt so great to be home at 22pm! Got into my PJs and watched films on TV.
I don't care and I don't get jealous when I see strangers drink, I do care when my close people do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
aasharon90
Im only staying for 4 days with my parents. So its not even a week. I can't avoid family get togethers. I just have to put brave face on and go there. Funny but I have already done many festive seasons before. Not sure why I am hesitating this year.
Im only staying for 4 days with my parents. So its not even a week. I can't avoid family get togethers. I just have to put brave face on and go there. Funny but I have already done many festive seasons before. Not sure why I am hesitating this year.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
aasharon90
Im ok, wrapping my gifts. Dreading next week. My closest family will be enjoying their drinks in moderation and I will just watch them drink. I will be counting hours till I can go to bed!
I hope there will be someone like me who does not drink at all.
How are you doing?
Im ok, wrapping my gifts. Dreading next week. My closest family will be enjoying their drinks in moderation and I will just watch them drink. I will be counting hours till I can go to bed!
I hope there will be someone like me who does not drink at all.
How are you doing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
I feel stronger today! Presents wrapped and I am ready to party.
Heard a few times the word "whiskey". Luckily Ive never been a whiskey drinker. Wine was my choice of drink. 2 bottles a day!!!
Im going to my parents tomorrow with my partner. Well they might have a drink or two tomorrow and then drinks will flow again on Christmas Eve. Dreading it, but I am strong!
I know I will not drink. Im worried to be become grumpy and spoil the whole festive atmosphere. My strategy is going to be count till 100 and then take a deep breath before I say anything nasty!
Fingers crossed it goes well. We are coming back home on Monday!
Heard a few times the word "whiskey". Luckily Ive never been a whiskey drinker. Wine was my choice of drink. 2 bottles a day!!!
Im going to my parents tomorrow with my partner. Well they might have a drink or two tomorrow and then drinks will flow again on Christmas Eve. Dreading it, but I am strong!
I know I will not drink. Im worried to be become grumpy and spoil the whole festive atmosphere. My strategy is going to be count till 100 and then take a deep breath before I say anything nasty!
Fingers crossed it goes well. We are coming back home on Monday!
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