New here - sick of being a "lush"
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Palm Coast, FL
Posts: 152
Welcome! I have been in a VERY similar situation : 51 been drinking my entire life. Very heavy drinking for the last decade. Daily for the last few years.
Decided enough was enough. Today is Day 24 and as recently as 30 days ago could not imagine going even 1 day without a drink.
You can do this and you will be glad that you did!
This is a great place to know that you are not alone in this!
Decided enough was enough. Today is Day 24 and as recently as 30 days ago could not imagine going even 1 day without a drink.
You can do this and you will be glad that you did!
This is a great place to know that you are not alone in this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by DeadAndBloated 
Thank you for the warm welcome everyone.
Looking at the user name I chose...i guess it's kind-of gross lol. It's just how I was feeling at the moment & the song was in my head.
Looking at the user name I chose...i guess it's kind-of gross lol. It's just how I was feeling at the moment & the song was in my head.
but i found out that was just a lie i was telling myself .
i read ya type about 'figuring it out." the great thing is ya don't have to do that- theres a few recovery programs that have figured out how to stop drinking for good and gain a better life.
something sobriety has given me is the ability to crank out them songs, listen to the instrumental of the songs( i never really did that before. now i can tune into it and hear the talent), hear the lyrics and say,"thats deeper than i remember and i was heading there. dam glad im not today!"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 13
Hi everyone - I'm sure some won't like this but it's all about being honest now.
I didn't quit but I'm going to try one thing first. In the book I'm reading, the author says "if you think you can do it, try having only 1 drink max per day for 30 days "
He isn't necessarily enouraging continued alcohol use but rather challenging you and asking you to admit the truth to yourself.
If I fail - i MUST QUIT DRINKING.
This is the deal i have made with myself.
I'm going to see my therapist today and telling her EVERYTHING.
I also spoke to my husband for the first time about my concern with my drinking and wanting to change it. He said "yes you are a binge drinker."
Yesterday I had one beer with him after work. Of course I wanted another before I was even finished with the first one. He looked at me and said" just don't have another. You can do this."
So I did not have another. was it easy? No not really. But after I ate dinner I was completely fine with it.
Hubby agrees that going to AA would be a good idea if I cannot do this.( For the record my husband is a very very moderate Drinker and will often go a full week or two without a single beer.)
Right now this is all about learning to be honest with myself and everyone around me. I promise to keep being honest.
I didn't quit but I'm going to try one thing first. In the book I'm reading, the author says "if you think you can do it, try having only 1 drink max per day for 30 days "
He isn't necessarily enouraging continued alcohol use but rather challenging you and asking you to admit the truth to yourself.
If I fail - i MUST QUIT DRINKING.
This is the deal i have made with myself.
I'm going to see my therapist today and telling her EVERYTHING.
I also spoke to my husband for the first time about my concern with my drinking and wanting to change it. He said "yes you are a binge drinker."
Yesterday I had one beer with him after work. Of course I wanted another before I was even finished with the first one. He looked at me and said" just don't have another. You can do this."
So I did not have another. was it easy? No not really. But after I ate dinner I was completely fine with it.
Hubby agrees that going to AA would be a good idea if I cannot do this.( For the record my husband is a very very moderate Drinker and will often go a full week or two without a single beer.)
Right now this is all about learning to be honest with myself and everyone around me. I promise to keep being honest.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 13
I should add that part of this 30-day deal with myself also includes complete abstinence days. Again if I do not keep this deal even through the holidays or any other celebrations then I am finding a meeting and I am going. Point Blank Period!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,633
Glad to meet you, DeadAndBloated.
I was older too when I finally realized what needed to be done. There was no guarantee that my first drink wouldn't lead to 10. It was dangerous. Being here to talk things over with people who understood made all the difference to me.
I was older too when I finally realized what needed to be done. There was no guarantee that my first drink wouldn't lead to 10. It was dangerous. Being here to talk things over with people who understood made all the difference to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Ouch. Just remembering some of my moderation experiments. It took me a while to realise that 'normal' drinkers don't ever feel the need to do this. It was hard to moderate for a month, but sometimes I'd manage it because I'd made some mental deal or another. That level of energy for a month was sustainable (just about) sometimes, but not as an ongoing thing. I really believed I could train myself to be a person who could be happy and content to moderate my drinking on a long term basis. I couldn't. I could moderate for a month, while thinking obsessively about alcohol. That was nowhere near the same as happy and content and long-term.
The only way I could get happy and content and long term was by stopping from trying to find easier softer ways (which were always anything BUT easier or softer in reality), and lean into my fear and come out of the denial that always led me back to drinking and an unmanageable life.
Hopefully your experience will be different.
The only way I could get happy and content and long term was by stopping from trying to find easier softer ways (which were always anything BUT easier or softer in reality), and lean into my fear and come out of the denial that always led me back to drinking and an unmanageable life.
Hopefully your experience will be different.
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
Welcome! I've just resurfaced and feel as though it's my first time here'll over again... Don't go far... You can do it... We all need to support each other in the fight.... Keep our heads on straight and remind ourselves of our goal... Happiness in sobriety... I've slipped up lately and I needed to come back for strength... Good luck and keep posting
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I had 1 beer Weds.
And even tho i "could have" had a drink yesterday or today - i didnt
2 days zero alcohol
One day at a time right now
And even tho i "could have" had a drink yesterday or today - i didnt
2 days zero alcohol
One day at a time right now
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