Running into people from my past
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Running into people from my past
I was taking a walk this morning and my ex-boyfriend drove by and honked the horn and pulled over, he start rolled down his window and started driving along side of me asking is I new anyone that he could get drugs from and that if I did he would "hook me up" with some free drugs.
If this had been earlier in my recovery, if I am being honest with myself I prob. would have gotten in the car- not to see him but to get free drugs and then bounce. Today, my recovery is strong enough to not engage at all. I did not respond, I did not stop walking, I did not even give him the F- you. Instead, I kept walking and I thanked God that I am not longer sick, panicking about my dealer not answering, or worrying about drugs. It felt so good to just keep walking, it just solidified why I am sober by seeing that if I was still using this early afternoon would be filled with panic and sickness..Instead I have already cleaned the house, ate breakfast, and was enjoying a walk on a beautiful day. It proved me to me that all my hard work is paying off and that while I do not like seeing anyone in my past, it felt so good to just keep moving and that it has not ruined my entire day.
I am about to eat lunch, go shopping, and enjoy the nice weather. It feels so good to not having to revolve my day around getting drugs. Seeing him still doing the same old things showed me how far I have come and how my days are not ruled by anything but myself. It was yet another reason to keep working on my recovery and continue to move forward with my new life.
If this had been earlier in my recovery, if I am being honest with myself I prob. would have gotten in the car- not to see him but to get free drugs and then bounce. Today, my recovery is strong enough to not engage at all. I did not respond, I did not stop walking, I did not even give him the F- you. Instead, I kept walking and I thanked God that I am not longer sick, panicking about my dealer not answering, or worrying about drugs. It felt so good to just keep walking, it just solidified why I am sober by seeing that if I was still using this early afternoon would be filled with panic and sickness..Instead I have already cleaned the house, ate breakfast, and was enjoying a walk on a beautiful day. It proved me to me that all my hard work is paying off and that while I do not like seeing anyone in my past, it felt so good to just keep moving and that it has not ruined my entire day.
I am about to eat lunch, go shopping, and enjoy the nice weather. It feels so good to not having to revolve my day around getting drugs. Seeing him still doing the same old things showed me how far I have come and how my days are not ruled by anything but myself. It was yet another reason to keep working on my recovery and continue to move forward with my new life.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,099
That is so amazing, Adeline!! Your story is a huge encouragement to me to remain strong when confronted with people from my past. Your story also reminded me I can't let my guard down, because you never know what might blow into your day.
Anyway, thank you. You are awesome!! Keep up the good work. We are all here for you.
Anyway, thank you. You are awesome!! Keep up the good work. We are all here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Thank you all so much for the love and support! This is not the first time I have run into someone from my past and I am sure it won't be the last. But I know one thing for sure, NO ONE has the power to make me use, only ME and I know I won't give up on myself.
Hope everyone is having a good day
Hope everyone is having a good day
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