AdelineRose

I was taking a walk this morning and my ex-boyfriend drove by and honked the horn and pulled over, he start rolled down his window and started driving along side of me asking is I new anyone that he could get drugs from and that if I did he would "hook me up" with some free drugs.

If this had been earlier in my recovery, if I am being honest with myself I prob. would have gotten in the car- not to see him but to get free drugs and then bounce. Today, my recovery is strong enough to not engage at all. I did not respond, I did not stop walking, I did not even give him the F- you. Instead, I kept walking and I thanked God that I am not longer sick, panicking about my dealer not answering, or worrying about drugs. It felt so good to just keep walking, it just solidified why I am sober by seeing that if I was still using this early afternoon would be filled with panic and sickness..Instead I have already cleaned the house, ate breakfast, and was enjoying a walk on a beautiful day. It proved me to me that all my hard work is paying off and that while I do not like seeing anyone in my past, it felt so good to just keep moving and that it has not ruined my entire day.

I am about to eat lunch, go shopping, and enjoy the nice weather. It feels so good to not having to revolve my day around getting drugs. Seeing him still doing the same old things showed me how far I have come and how my days are not ruled by anything but myself. It was yet another reason to keep working on my recovery and continue to move forward with my new life.