joandmelandhan

Thanks Flossy I'll check it out xxx

MissPerfumado

The realisation I would die from drinking was what did it for me, too. Some part of the deeply-buried real"me" finally kicked up from inside and broke through the denial, screaming "I don't want to die of alcoholism".

When you look at it that way, it's primal. Unless you have a death-wish, acceptance that drinking will kill you MUST logically lead to action to prevent that. At all costs. Which means stopping, which means planning to stay stopped, which means following the plan and staying stopped. No matter what.

Sending lots and lots of support to you to get through the night and the following days.

Choose life.

Dee74

hey Jo

support really helps...but the best accountability is to myself

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

A lot of us instinctively want to do this without rocking the boat and making too many changes...

I dunno about you or anyone else but I couldn't be sober without changes because my whole life was geared to drinking...


D

joandmelandhan

Yes Dee I've been so fearful of real change but that is probably the addiction holding me back. I have to be so much more focused on recovery instead of hiding behind my day to day busy stuff or it will never stick. Recovery must come first or I'll never beat it.

joandmelandhan

Well so far so good today with my plan. Get up, dressed, showered (basic I now but check), fill car with petrol at the garage I know does not sell alcohol (check), get to work and stick to herbal teas (checkish one coffee), go to supermarket for healthy food with my girls so I am not alone near alcohol (check), cook a nice dinner (chicken fajitas yum check), spend an hour or so on SR to keep me focussed (doing now), go to AA meeting (will do), bed straight after meeting (will do).......
It's been a struggle focussing at work not helped by being given a tricky job to do but work keeps me safe and keeps my brain active which is important to my recovery. I want to plan my days in little sections each day but also acknowledge that I may need to rest to.
Sleep and repeat tomorrow I pray......

August252015

So glad to read to the end of this thread, so far, and see your last post! Great planning for today.

You can do it. Keep doing, and don't drink - today.

joandmelandhan

Oh I've just got to share this....my bf is giving up drinking too!!!!! He isn't alcoholic but wants to do it with me. I am teary eyed I'm so happy.

Fly N Buy

Glad your BF has made a decision for himself about drinking. Always keep in mind others don't get us sober nor make us drink!

Your path, your journey. Together is great, but don't build up expectations or put others on a pedestal.

Good job on not drinking, today.......

joandmelandhan

Yes Fly I understand it just will be a relief to have a zero alcohol household....little bit of pressure off I guess......especially in these early first few days and weeks xx

Sober'sBest

Isn't SA's, substance abusers, MAIN MOTIVATION a false belief?


I set myself FREE realizing:



. . . . I DON'T NEED BAD !

.

.

.

.

Elke516

Dee, thank you for this, so very powerful to me, I got a bit emotional

joandmelandhan

I've had a pretty dreadful day today......
My brain (well the upper left side of my head ) feels like it's swishing around in my head and I even think I'm struggling to keep my head on straight.......my ability to think at work has been dreadful and I'm getting my words mixed up all the time. This has been utterly terrifying today.
I keep shaking my head slightly to make it.....oh I don't know......sharpen up. I'm reading up on concentration and brain fog issues and am clinging on to the hope that time will help this. But as I'm sure some of you know it's easy to convince ourselves that permanent damage has been done (or I'm about to have a stroke or something) ........ this strangeness in the brain is far scarier than other symptoms..... just shows how far down the pit of alcoholism I've come. There......another bit of honesty (even if it's just for me to come back to and read if I get an attack of the AV down the line)

Elke516

Hey ((((Jo girl))), poor lady, try not to stress too much, make sure you drink lots of water, I mean like 2 large coke size bottles of water not all at once of course, you know. You might be dehydrated. But I'm not a doctor. If you're worried please go and see your GP perhaps a couple of days rest would do you good?!

Anyway, congrats on making it through another day keep it going darling, early bed if you can and sleep, sleep, sleep.

And remember it's still National Jo kicks butt week, your AV won't have a chance

Lots of Love Jo, I'll be on SR off and on all evening. Here or on May thread for you if you want to chat.

bandicoot2

(((jo))).....thinking of you and hope that each day is a bit better.

It's so good to see you here and on the 24 thread. You can do this......it gets better and better, promise! Take care.

FreeOwl

AA helped me with that.
Telling those close to me that I was choosing sobriety helped me with that.
Choosing every day SOBRIETY and taking actions in that direction helped me with that.

I hear ya....

you can do this

Delilah1

Good morning,

Just checking in to see how you are doing today. Hope you are starting to feel a bit better each day.

❤️ Delilah

joandmelandhan

Don't seem to be feeling any better yet.....my head is fuzzy and my concentration just isn't there. But I'm sober and that is the main thing. One more relapse may be my last and that fear is acute right now. Maybe I needed to get to this point who knows but what I do know is sobriety is my only chance of having a normal life. That's what I want and that's what I'm prepared to fight for......

SoberLeigh

A strong desire for sobriety and for a better life were, to me, very instrumental in my success. Sounds like you are on the right path.

Stay close to us; lean on us, jo.

joandmelandhan

Thank you Leigh I will. SR is a place I feel safe and quite frankly I need right now.....I guess having my own little thread is giving me somewhere to stay honest and maybe offload a bit.
Huge relief to be home and cozy on a Friday evening. Little by little I am gaining some hope and maybe a little confidence in myself. AA meetings have helped me a lot this week too. They say it works if you work it so no hibernating for me. Gotta get out there and get to my target of 3 meetings a week.
I feel somehow that this is now a measure of what I've got. Have I got it in me to fight the addiction? I know I must (but I already did in a way). But it doesn't have to define me. I don't have to think "well I'm an alcoholic so I'm bound to fail"......no not any more. Day by day I hope to become the person I should be, free of the pull of that poison. That's the dream and it is up to me (and a good plan and support network) to make it happen.

FreedomCA

Never give up. I have been going back and forth with periods of sobriety and drinking for the last 15 years, but I refuse to give up. I continue to read, learn and add to my toolbox so that one day it may stick. I am not in contact anymore with people who bring me down or make me feel bad because I have not stayed continuously sober.