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Old 10-21-2016, 06:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Need Help

Clearly, my sobriety plan isn't working. I need help. I don't know if I'm to the point of IOP quite yet, but it's definitely crossed my mind. Maybe I am. I just don't know. I can't do this alone. I feel defeated. I have tremendous willpower in so many things in my life. Why not with alcohol? None of this makes any sense. I'm so, so sick of this roller coaster.

I could use some words of encouragement, please. I'm a big, strong man, but I'm to the point of tears. I hate this. I really do.
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Old 10-21-2016, 06:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I hate it too I'm such a control freak with so much of my life, why can't I be a control freak when it comes to alcohol? You're not alone in this, we're here for you
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Old 10-21-2016, 07:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Addiction will bring anyone and everyone to their knees.

For me I needed overall care- mental and psychical. I found a doctor that specializes in addiction, I got a substance abuse counselor, and I got a full psychological examination. For me the most important part of that was getting a full psych evaluation. Once I started taking the proper medications for bipolar, anxiety disorder, and treatment resistant depression it was a game changer for me personally. Many drug addicts and alcoholics also have a mental health issue. I am not insinuating that you do, I am letting you know that finding out and treating that gave me the proper mental state to really take on addiction head on.

If you are thinking about IOP then I think you know that you are at that point in your addiction that you know you need something more than willpower. I personally didn't use AA or NA- instead I literally changed everything in my entire life, I was a heroin addict so changing my phone number, deleting face book, not going to stores where I could run into anyone and falling off the grid is what I needed since obviously you need to find drugs. I really have no advice for alcohol in that sense.

A could starting point would be to find a doctor, a substance abuse counselor, a psych that specializes in addiction and be open and honest to their opinions. Finding recovery has to do with reaching out, opening yourself up so that you can get the help you truly need. IOP would be a great jump start to making the type of life changes that are necessary to create a true recovery.

I just wanted to let you know someone is there for you. You can always pm if you just need someone to talk to.

There is NO person walking the face of the Earth who demonstrates more courage, dignity, honesty, and integrity on a DAILY basis than an addict in recovery.

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are NOT going to stay where you are.

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Old 10-21-2016, 07:05 PM   #4 (permalink)

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Hang in there

You're not alone! I definitely feel the same way. I'm on day 2 and it's a real struggle.
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Old 10-21-2016, 07:07 PM   #5 (permalink)

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Sober life,
I'm a former college football player, I'm a knuckle dragging kind of guy. Like you I could not, beat alcohol, without help. It has nothing to do with willpower it is an allergy of the body and a addiction of the mind, can it be beaten hell yes it can, focus on the next 24 hours, see your doctor, and reach out and ask for help, call the local AA chapter, but you can not do this alone, and yes that is hard for guys like us to admit, but we can't you have to ask for help and then seek help. One step at a time, the first step is reaching out and staying sober for one day, please see your doctor as the doctors can help. Find a meeting and ask for help, they will help you. I remember watching hours and sometimes minutes and seconds go by but I wanted 24 sober hours, you need to reach out and then....and this is the hard part accept the help. You can do this bro, but you have to want it, and you have to get some people on your side to help. Fellow alcoholics, know what it is like and are always ready to help, don't depend on your willpower, make it better. Keep the strength.
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Old 10-21-2016, 07:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That's the thing...willpower alone is not enough to tackle addiction...even in the strongest willed individuals. If you think of it as a fight you will always lose...surrendering/acceptance is the only possible solution. For many of us that means seeking help from outside - meetings, counseling, rehab, defox, etc. If you've explored IOP and have access, I would strongly recommend it.
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Old 10-21-2016, 07:12 PM   #7 (permalink)

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Sober life,
I too have will power to accomplish almost anything. Not so much when it comes to alcohol . I had to build a rock solid plan and follow it minute by minute in the beginning. I had to unconditionally acknowledge that I can never drink again. I could not look back. Most importantly I had to want sobriety more than anything else. You can do it but you need to make a plan and be determined.
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Old 10-21-2016, 07:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you to all of you. Just knowing that I have others in my corner is helpful. It really is.

I have to see my doctor about some other issues, so I will also talk to her about my struggles. She already knows I struggle with alcohol abuse, and has been helpful in the past. I like that she's not judgemental. I feel like she really cares for my well-being.
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Old 10-21-2016, 07:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I agree with AR about possibly having other issues. I had no idea until I entered outpatient rehab that I had severe anxiety and depression. I was put on a medication, and have never been on one before, and it has been life changing. I am myself again. The cravings are still there but I can handle them now. Everyone in my life has noticed a big improvement. I feel much better. I am 7 months sober, and been on the med about 6 months. Good luck! It does get better.
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Old 10-21-2016, 08:15 PM   #10 (permalink)

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I was right where you currently are 13 days ago since I have 12 days today. I sat in my bedroom shocked that such a disaster could happen to me. People like my grandmother knew me as the brightest in the family with so much potential, and yet here I was drinking daily and sometimes early in the day. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to disappoint anyone in my family like my grandmother. So I was completely baffled and very afraid. But the day I pulled out Living Sober and Daily Reflections I got my first Day 1. And now I have 12 days and am back to making my family proud of my potential in life. I am sooooo relieved and never want to go back to that dark place.
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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You can do this, put a plan together to beat it and overcome all of this misery.

It can be done and you'll find loads of support here on SR!!
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Old 10-23-2016, 11:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
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SoberLife, I don't know that its "will power". For me, its more like dealing with a rain shower: I can't willfully make it stop raining, but I can carry an umbrella to deal with it.
My Dr. was very helpful. It was a relief to admit my problem. My daughter lived with me at the time and having someone here to physically watch me and make sure I didn't drink got me on the road to sobriety. It was me who stayed there but I don't think I'd have gotten through those first two nights if I'd been alone.
SR has helped me stay sober. I read so many posts and think "me too!". Seeing how others deal with the guilt and repercussions of bad decisions while drunk is very comforting and has helped as well.
Don't get defeated and don't give up.
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