Feeling like a betrayed you all and some other things
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 17
Hey, thanks guys!
I always feel so reinvigorated after having posted and hearing all your positive replies!
Dee74: Sorry I didn't reply yesterday -I took the day to go shopping with my husband and treat myself to some new things and to try to occupy any negativity. I was gone from sun up to down!
Today I'm feeling better and back on day 2. Doing some cooking and reading.
I know I feel a hell of a lot better when I'm on here posting and reading.
I strayed for a bit and see how dangerous that is without SR as a support.
Thanks agin everyone!
I always feel so reinvigorated after having posted and hearing all your positive replies!
Dee74: Sorry I didn't reply yesterday -I took the day to go shopping with my husband and treat myself to some new things and to try to occupy any negativity. I was gone from sun up to down!
Today I'm feeling better and back on day 2. Doing some cooking and reading.
I know I feel a hell of a lot better when I'm on here posting and reading.
I strayed for a bit and see how dangerous that is without SR as a support.
Thanks agin everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
MawaApril, thank you for your post. You have truely helped me today; and all the subsequent comments as well.
As Deliah wrote;
Welcome back! I am very glad you posted tonight. It took me a while to finally get sobriety right. I first logged onto SR in March of 2012, and I didn't post again until October when I knew I really needed to stop drinking. I made it three months and then stopped posting as regularly, and started drinking. During the next three years I alternated between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation.
This is my story, too. I lurk. I read. Sometimes I even comment, but I never commit.
I fear I will never fully 'get it' and that I am constitutionally incapable. I fears others see it too. Who wants to be that person?
All my life I have been the independent one. I was the helper not the helpee. I have huge trust issues, but am the most trustworthy person alive. I will give, but I will not ask.
I have been determined to have 30 days under my belt before I become active on SR, but I cant seem to get there on my own. 20, 25 even 28, never 30.
I read the love, concern and kindness that is so readilly available to everyone of us in the forums. Yet, somehow I dont know how to access it. A Psycologist once declared me Characterly defended.
I hope and pray if I stick around long enough, something will stick with me.
Message me anytime if you want to chat. I am usually lurking somewhere.
Today is day 16 for me. Please come back.
As Deliah wrote;
Welcome back! I am very glad you posted tonight. It took me a while to finally get sobriety right. I first logged onto SR in March of 2012, and I didn't post again until October when I knew I really needed to stop drinking. I made it three months and then stopped posting as regularly, and started drinking. During the next three years I alternated between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation.
This is my story, too. I lurk. I read. Sometimes I even comment, but I never commit.
I fear I will never fully 'get it' and that I am constitutionally incapable. I fears others see it too. Who wants to be that person?
All my life I have been the independent one. I was the helper not the helpee. I have huge trust issues, but am the most trustworthy person alive. I will give, but I will not ask.
I have been determined to have 30 days under my belt before I become active on SR, but I cant seem to get there on my own. 20, 25 even 28, never 30.
I read the love, concern and kindness that is so readilly available to everyone of us in the forums. Yet, somehow I dont know how to access it. A Psycologist once declared me Characterly defended.
I hope and pray if I stick around long enough, something will stick with me.
Message me anytime if you want to chat. I am usually lurking somewhere.
Today is day 16 for me. Please come back.
Last edited by StormiNormi; 10-16-2016 at 11:30 PM. Reason: Spell check
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi mawapril,
Glad to see you are doing better today.
A lot has been said about this already, but my perspective is that the posts that may seem somewhat intimidating are likely the most useful ones.
I am now just over two months sober, and what really changed it for me was the realisation that the only reason I drank was because I decided to do it.
On hundreds of previous attempts I saw relapses as a part of the process, as me learning to be sober, but it wasn't until someone here wrote a comment saying something in the lines of "you don't want this enough" (not using these exact words, but that was the message) that I realised this was exactly the case.
I wasn't relapsing for no reason, it wasn't a part of the process, I was relapsing because at some point I was making a conscious decision to do so, even if I couldn't see it.
I think this is what may be frustrating for someone who has been sober for years and has mastered control over those decisions, they know how to make the right choice and know we all can do it too. In other words, I think everyone here are honestly always trying to help.
I am sure you got it in you to do this and we're always here for you.
P
Glad to see you are doing better today.
A lot has been said about this already, but my perspective is that the posts that may seem somewhat intimidating are likely the most useful ones.
I am now just over two months sober, and what really changed it for me was the realisation that the only reason I drank was because I decided to do it.
On hundreds of previous attempts I saw relapses as a part of the process, as me learning to be sober, but it wasn't until someone here wrote a comment saying something in the lines of "you don't want this enough" (not using these exact words, but that was the message) that I realised this was exactly the case.
I wasn't relapsing for no reason, it wasn't a part of the process, I was relapsing because at some point I was making a conscious decision to do so, even if I couldn't see it.
I think this is what may be frustrating for someone who has been sober for years and has mastered control over those decisions, they know how to make the right choice and know we all can do it too. In other words, I think everyone here are honestly always trying to help.
I am sure you got it in you to do this and we're always here for you.
P
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