When does drinking no longer come to mind?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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The Op asks when do thoughts of drinking go away , and also how you deal with that~ ?
Answering the latter part first, using AVRT ( great threads on this technique in the Secular Connections forum here on SR) I'd recognize the thought, separate from the thought meaning see it as coming from that part of my thinking that kept the addiction going , and then dismiss the thought without acting on it by not reaching for a drink.
To answer the first part , I'd say when I first quit for good and would see posts describing the idea of not having those thoughts, or having them very rarely, it wasn't that I was skeptical about that experience but it was hard for me to imagine that I would , or if I was guaranteed to have that experience I'd really like that to be the case ASAP
.
And then at some point , not a specific time that I remember , I just starting realizing that those thoughts weren't occurring , as much ? , it's almost odd because , for me anyway, I'd notice that I didn't , and then I'd stop noticing that, not sure if that makes sense. Basically it was fairly gradual and took time , I suppose I was waiting for my subconscious( the thought generator in a way) to catch up the decision of the conscious part of my thinking that was that drinking was off the table as an option , forever, thoughts to contrary notwithstanding.
Kind of hard to explain really, probably in the same way explaining to a 'normie' what addiction 'feels' like.?
Answering the latter part first, using AVRT ( great threads on this technique in the Secular Connections forum here on SR) I'd recognize the thought, separate from the thought meaning see it as coming from that part of my thinking that kept the addiction going , and then dismiss the thought without acting on it by not reaching for a drink.
To answer the first part , I'd say when I first quit for good and would see posts describing the idea of not having those thoughts, or having them very rarely, it wasn't that I was skeptical about that experience but it was hard for me to imagine that I would , or if I was guaranteed to have that experience I'd really like that to be the case ASAP
. And then at some point , not a specific time that I remember , I just starting realizing that those thoughts weren't occurring , as much ? , it's almost odd because , for me anyway, I'd notice that I didn't , and then I'd stop noticing that, not sure if that makes sense. Basically it was fairly gradual and took time , I suppose I was waiting for my subconscious( the thought generator in a way) to catch up the decision of the conscious part of my thinking that was that drinking was off the table as an option , forever, thoughts to contrary notwithstanding.
Kind of hard to explain really, probably in the same way explaining to a 'normie' what addiction 'feels' like.?
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Originally Posted by tomsteve 
When does drinking no longer come to mind?
that can vary. drinking as a solution to a problem? that stopped about 10 months, when the 10th step promises occurred for me.
I can still have the thought of a drink pop into my head from time to time. not necessarily as a solution for anything. I just sometimes think," an ice cold beer would be nice right now."
I don't let the thought control my actions and turn my thoughts to something more useful.
IMO, a relapse ends with a drink.
that can vary. drinking as a solution to a problem? that stopped about 10 months, when the 10th step promises occurred for me.
I can still have the thought of a drink pop into my head from time to time. not necessarily as a solution for anything. I just sometimes think," an ice cold beer would be nice right now."
I don't let the thought control my actions and turn my thoughts to something more useful.
IMO, a relapse ends with a drink.
That is how I apply the word relapse as well, as in a reset of my sobriety date. However, what I been taught in AA is that a relapse actually occurs before the relapse.
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Originally Posted by sainos
I think the same meaning when I think of relapse. I just think of a trigger as a memory of what I have turned to drink for habitually in the past. Could be an arguement with someone, doesn't mean that person "made" me drink, means by poor coping mechanisms made me head straight for the bottle to take away my own bad feelings.
Or a sunny bank holiday Monday, because , it brings back memories of friends, and a day off work down the pub when I drank only socially (days long gone)
Thats what I think of as "triggers" For me, something that is a trigger doesn't have to turn into a relapse, not unless I am looking for a "good" excuse to drink. Then it's still my fault, cos I am looking for an excuse to drink!
Or a sunny bank holiday Monday, because , it brings back memories of friends, and a day off work down the pub when I drank only socially (days long gone)
Thats what I think of as "triggers" For me, something that is a trigger doesn't have to turn into a relapse, not unless I am looking for a "good" excuse to drink. Then it's still my fault, cos I am looking for an excuse to drink!
trig·ger
ˈtriɡər/
noun
1.
a small device that releases a spring or catch and so sets off a mechanism, especially in order to fire a gun.
"he pulled the trigger of the shotgun"
verb
1.
cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist.
"an allergy can be triggered by stress or overwork"
synonyms: precipitate, prompt, elicit, trigger off, set off, spark (off), touch off, provoke, stir up; More
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Lexi
I'm not as patient as the rest. What are you looking for? I'll google it for you. Otherwise I am just irritated by you. You are looking to hang people for semantics. TRIGGER.. oh my word. Trigger. Or - that which makes you think to drink. Which in most of our cases means like everything.
You are giving me the feeling that if we don't come up with the right response for you that we will send you out drinking.
I do not accept that responsibility.
You want to talk recovery? There's 10 000 stories here, all different. But hate on on us? We'll be here when you are ready.
I'm not as patient as the rest. What are you looking for? I'll google it for you. Otherwise I am just irritated by you. You are looking to hang people for semantics. TRIGGER.. oh my word. Trigger. Or - that which makes you think to drink. Which in most of our cases means like everything.
You are giving me the feeling that if we don't come up with the right response for you that we will send you out drinking.
I do not accept that responsibility.
You want to talk recovery? There's 10 000 stories here, all different. But hate on on us? We'll be here when you are ready.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Tulsa
Posts: 44
When I was early in my sobriety, it didn't take much to make me think about drinking. As time went by, that diminished until about the only time I had a twinge of desire was when I was in a nice restaurant and recalled that a certain wine would be nice with what I was ordering. Then I reminded myself that one glass of wine would get me back on the drunk elevator. After awhile I really no longer think about it at all. Now I just order a glass of ice tea and look at the menu.
To a certain extent, our drinking is a habit. After the initial stage of sobriety when we are past the physical craving for alcohol we still associate certain actions or situations with drinking. Maybe that is what a trigger is. When I see someone with a glass of wine in a restaurant, that "triggers" my memory that at one time I could enjoy that. Certainly, that person is not responsible for my desire to drink.
Someone in an AA meeting had some useful advice in that regard. When a person shared that they found themselves at a party and started drinking when they had not planned to drink, he suggested that the problem was that they had no plan for not drinking. That is a plan for what to do when the tray of champagne came by - a plan for what to do when the impulse struck. I found that helpful.
But I think the question that started this thread was how long it took before the desire left us. The answer, of course, is that it depends on a lot of things. For me, the worst was over after the first month, at least the physical craving was mostly gone. The temptation was around a lot longer. Now I seldom if ever think about it.
I might say one other thing. When I got serious about sobriety I made a number of changes. I stayed out of situations where there was a lot of drinking. I stayed out of 'slippery places'. And, I altered some relationships with friends who drank a lot. Here is a easy test for the quality of a friendship. Tell that friend that you have decided to stop drinking altogether. If they argue with you or encourage you to have "just one", they aren't really your friend, or at least not the right sort.
Your mileage will vary.
To a certain extent, our drinking is a habit. After the initial stage of sobriety when we are past the physical craving for alcohol we still associate certain actions or situations with drinking. Maybe that is what a trigger is. When I see someone with a glass of wine in a restaurant, that "triggers" my memory that at one time I could enjoy that. Certainly, that person is not responsible for my desire to drink.
Someone in an AA meeting had some useful advice in that regard. When a person shared that they found themselves at a party and started drinking when they had not planned to drink, he suggested that the problem was that they had no plan for not drinking. That is a plan for what to do when the tray of champagne came by - a plan for what to do when the impulse struck. I found that helpful.
But I think the question that started this thread was how long it took before the desire left us. The answer, of course, is that it depends on a lot of things. For me, the worst was over after the first month, at least the physical craving was mostly gone. The temptation was around a lot longer. Now I seldom if ever think about it.
I might say one other thing. When I got serious about sobriety I made a number of changes. I stayed out of situations where there was a lot of drinking. I stayed out of 'slippery places'. And, I altered some relationships with friends who drank a lot. Here is a easy test for the quality of a friendship. Tell that friend that you have decided to stop drinking altogether. If they argue with you or encourage you to have "just one", they aren't really your friend, or at least not the right sort.
Your mileage will vary.
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Originally Posted by Irnldy001
Lexi
I'm not as patient as the rest. What are you looking for? I'll google it for you. Otherwise I am just irritated by you. You are looking to hang people for semantics. TRIGGER.. oh my word. Trigger. Or - that which makes you think to drink. Which in most of our cases means like everything.
You are giving me the feeling that if we don't come up with the right response for you that we will send you out drinking.
I do not accept that responsibility.
You want to talk recovery? There's 10 000 stories here, all different. But hate on on us? We'll be here when you are ready.
I'm not as patient as the rest. What are you looking for? I'll google it for you. Otherwise I am just irritated by you. You are looking to hang people for semantics. TRIGGER.. oh my word. Trigger. Or - that which makes you think to drink. Which in most of our cases means like everything.
You are giving me the feeling that if we don't come up with the right response for you that we will send you out drinking.
I do not accept that responsibility.
You want to talk recovery? There's 10 000 stories here, all different. But hate on on us? We'll be here when you are ready.
I simply pointed out some things. If you don't like that, that's not my fault .
The 2 words will NOT become interchangable, that's UNHEALTHY for ME , or as another person said lethal..
"Trigger" is to blame another or something OUTSIDE of self. . To me. And by interchanging the words WILL become blaming as said.
Also as I said, I'm done here. Think as you will. I'm not going to stick around in here and take part of that. Have a great night, or don't. The choice is up to you how you perceive .
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Another 3 page long thread of banging our heads against a wall.
Maybe you can enlighten the people who still care enough to read this why you're really here and what you're really looking for.
Because I, for one, am utterly confused by your.... everything.
You keep saying the same things over and over again. Like you're leaving and this is unhealthy and that is not worth your time to try. What you looking for lexilynn? Does anyone else who's taken the time to respond to you caringly and kindly not matter a whit to you?
Maybe you can enlighten the people who still care enough to read this why you're really here and what you're really looking for.
Because I, for one, am utterly confused by your.... everything.
You keep saying the same things over and over again. Like you're leaving and this is unhealthy and that is not worth your time to try. What you looking for lexilynn? Does anyone else who's taken the time to respond to you caringly and kindly not matter a whit to you?
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Originally Posted by Delizadee
Another 3 page long thread of banging our heads against a wall.
Maybe you can enlighten the people who still care enough to read this why you're really here and what you're really looking for.
Because I, for one, am utterly confused by your.... everything.
You keep saying the same things over and over again. Like you're leaving and this is unhealthy and that is not worth your time to try. What you looking for lexilynn? Does anyone else who's taken the time to respond to you caringly and kindly not matter a whit to you?
Maybe you can enlighten the people who still care enough to read this why you're really here and what you're really looking for.
Because I, for one, am utterly confused by your.... everything.
You keep saying the same things over and over again. Like you're leaving and this is unhealthy and that is not worth your time to try. What you looking for lexilynn? Does anyone else who's taken the time to respond to you caringly and kindly not matter a whit to you?
I have enough to deal with, trying to deal with my own feelings properly.
Now,That is all I have to say.
Have a lovely night.
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Maybe you can learn to show some decency toward your fellow human beings here who are spending their time on your thread.
If you are so paranoid about what others say or how they influence you, consider making an appointment with a psychologist.
Otherwise, you seem to be pretty good with a dictionary and theres no threat of human contact there.
If you are so paranoid about what others say or how they influence you, consider making an appointment with a psychologist.
Otherwise, you seem to be pretty good with a dictionary and theres no threat of human contact there.
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Originally Posted by Soberpotamus
Maybe you can learn to show some decency toward your fellow human beings here who are spending their time on your thread.
If you are so paranoid about what others say or how they influence you, consider making an appointment with a psychologist.
Otherwise, you seem to be pretty good with a dictionary and theres no threat of human contact there.
If you are so paranoid about what others say or how they influence you, consider making an appointment with a psychologist.
Otherwise, you seem to be pretty good with a dictionary and theres no threat of human contact there.
Pardon me? I was very ******* decent initially. I thanked the person, and then all I did was made mention of what this topic/thread is not, to the person.
Dee ran with it and turned it into something it was not.
You know what? I really DON'T need this crap, keep the thread, keep the site.
How do I delete my account?
Thanks in advance.
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