When does drinking no longer come to mind?
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“Just the facts ma’am…” , sounds like Joe Friday from the Dragnet TV show.
I’ve read along a couple of your threads. I imagine there are people who read these things who never post. And I believe that many who respond to posts do not necessarily respond the person who posed the initial question, but rather as in speaking to a group as a whole. Do not be offended and take issue with others because they did not answer your one question specifically. In an open discussion people will offer opinions, use their own reasoning or relate to anecdotal evidence to back up their answer, or to deflect from directly answering the question.
You would rather the responses be, “six months”, “three months”, “one year” etc. and leave it at that.
Unfortunately, as was stated already, no two people may have the same answer. For some it may be, “never”, for others it may be, “six months”.
In another thread you very quickly became annoyed because of the responses. I get it. I used to get annoyed too.
For me, I got in trouble and made the decision I was never going to drink again. That was it for me. I vowed to never allow alcohol to affect my life again. Never taking another drink was the only way to ensure that. Was it easy? Yes and no. Did I have ‘cravings’? Absolutely. Did I have “triggers”? I never heard of the term ‘triggers’ before I decided to quit drinking. As someone who drank for no reason for over 30 years, I didn’t need a ‘trigger’. Then in the spring as I started working outside, I found myself craving a drink as I was working in the garden. Because I never did any yard work without a beer in my hand, I suddenly realized that yard work was a ‘trigger’ for me. I can give you numerous examples of what ‘triggered’ me to drink. It was actually, more or less, an associative response. Call it a trigger call it association, it was anything I did that I had always done while drinking. Even if it was a response to stimuli that angered me, worried me, made me happy and put me in a celebratory mood. Whatever you want to call it, drinking in response to anything can be defined as a ‘trigger’. Even if you were used to waking up and pouring yourself a drink, waking up was a trigger. Sounds silly doesn’t it?
I imagine by six months my ‘triggers’ became less influential. By a year I could sit at a bar and not be tempted, but I still thought about it. It was also around a year that I realized I started to NOT NOTICE alcohol. Some time into the second year of being sober, it was like I never drank. After two years sober, I think about drinking and alcohol as much as I think about going out for a bowl or sauerkraut.
I always hated sauerkraut, can’t stand the smell of it, and I won’t eat it. But there is a difference between sauerkraut and alcohol in some respects for me. I will notice sauerkraut and become repulsed by it. I may or may not “notice” alcohol today, but my reaction to alcohol is the same as my reaction to a car driving by in the street, no reaction at all. It’s just another thing that I don’t do and doesn’t affect me one way or another.
So to answer your question, around a year and a half – FOR ME.
I’ve read along a couple of your threads. I imagine there are people who read these things who never post. And I believe that many who respond to posts do not necessarily respond the person who posed the initial question, but rather as in speaking to a group as a whole. Do not be offended and take issue with others because they did not answer your one question specifically. In an open discussion people will offer opinions, use their own reasoning or relate to anecdotal evidence to back up their answer, or to deflect from directly answering the question.
You would rather the responses be, “six months”, “three months”, “one year” etc. and leave it at that.
Unfortunately, as was stated already, no two people may have the same answer. For some it may be, “never”, for others it may be, “six months”.
In another thread you very quickly became annoyed because of the responses. I get it. I used to get annoyed too.
For me, I got in trouble and made the decision I was never going to drink again. That was it for me. I vowed to never allow alcohol to affect my life again. Never taking another drink was the only way to ensure that. Was it easy? Yes and no. Did I have ‘cravings’? Absolutely. Did I have “triggers”? I never heard of the term ‘triggers’ before I decided to quit drinking. As someone who drank for no reason for over 30 years, I didn’t need a ‘trigger’. Then in the spring as I started working outside, I found myself craving a drink as I was working in the garden. Because I never did any yard work without a beer in my hand, I suddenly realized that yard work was a ‘trigger’ for me. I can give you numerous examples of what ‘triggered’ me to drink. It was actually, more or less, an associative response. Call it a trigger call it association, it was anything I did that I had always done while drinking. Even if it was a response to stimuli that angered me, worried me, made me happy and put me in a celebratory mood. Whatever you want to call it, drinking in response to anything can be defined as a ‘trigger’. Even if you were used to waking up and pouring yourself a drink, waking up was a trigger. Sounds silly doesn’t it?
I imagine by six months my ‘triggers’ became less influential. By a year I could sit at a bar and not be tempted, but I still thought about it. It was also around a year that I realized I started to NOT NOTICE alcohol. Some time into the second year of being sober, it was like I never drank. After two years sober, I think about drinking and alcohol as much as I think about going out for a bowl or sauerkraut.
I always hated sauerkraut, can’t stand the smell of it, and I won’t eat it. But there is a difference between sauerkraut and alcohol in some respects for me. I will notice sauerkraut and become repulsed by it. I may or may not “notice” alcohol today, but my reaction to alcohol is the same as my reaction to a car driving by in the street, no reaction at all. It’s just another thing that I don’t do and doesn’t affect me one way or another.
So to answer your question, around a year and a half – FOR ME.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
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Part 2:
If you didn't run off already...
What I did about dealing with my "triggers" was to change my environment, or if it was just the old AV talking to me, I would remind myself that I will never drink and never change my mind. I spent a lot of time on this forum, and whenever I was caught up in the desire to drink - for whatever reason - I would stop what I was doing and logged on to here. That action alone, the distraction and refocusing, was enough to get me over my craving. And when I was really struggling, reading about the hardships, troubles, and etc. of other people here strengthened my resolve to not drink.
Is that the kind of answer you were looking for?
If you didn't run off already...
What I did about dealing with my "triggers" was to change my environment, or if it was just the old AV talking to me, I would remind myself that I will never drink and never change my mind. I spent a lot of time on this forum, and whenever I was caught up in the desire to drink - for whatever reason - I would stop what I was doing and logged on to here. That action alone, the distraction and refocusing, was enough to get me over my craving. And when I was really struggling, reading about the hardships, troubles, and etc. of other people here strengthened my resolve to not drink.
Is that the kind of answer you were looking for?
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Originally Posted by LBrain 
“Just the facts ma’am…” , sounds like Joe Friday from the Dragnet TV show.
I’ve read along a couple of your threads. I imagine there are people who read these things who never post. And I believe that many who respond to posts do not necessarily respond the person who posed the initial question, but rather as in speaking to a group as a whole. Do not be offended and take issue with others because they did not answer your one question specifically. In an open discussion people will offer opinions, use their own reasoning or relate to anecdotal evidence to back up their answer, or to deflect from directly answering the question.
You would rather the responses be, “six months”, “three months”, “one year” etc. and leave it at that.
Unfortunately, as was stated already, no two people may have the same answer. For some it may be, “never”, for others it may be, “six months”.
In another thread you very quickly became annoyed because of the responses. I get it. I used to get annoyed too.
For me, I got in trouble and made the decision I was never going to drink again. That was it for me. I vowed to never allow alcohol to affect my life again. Never taking another drink was the only way to ensure that. Was it easy? Yes and no. Did I have ‘cravings’? Absolutely. Did I have “triggers”? I never heard of the term ‘triggers’ before I decided to quit drinking. As someone who drank for no reason for over 30 years, I didn’t need a ‘trigger’. Then in the spring as I started working outside, I found myself craving a drink as I was working in the garden. Because I never did any yard work without a beer in my hand, I suddenly realized that yard work was a ‘trigger’ for me. I can give you numerous examples of what ‘triggered’ me to drink. It was actually, more or less, an associative response. Call it a trigger call it association, it was anything I did that I had always done while drinking. Even if it was a response to stimuli that angered me, worried me, made me happy and put me in a celebratory mood. Whatever you want to call it, drinking in response to anything can be defined as a ‘trigger’. Even if you were used to waking up and pouting yourself a drink, waking up was a trigger. Sounds silly doesn’t it?
I imagine by six months my ‘triggers’ became less influential. By a year I could sit at a bar and not be tempted, but I still thought about it. It was also around a year that I realized I started to NOT NOTICE alcohol. Some time into the second year of being sober, it was like I never drank. After two years sober, I think about drinking and alcohol as much as I think about going out for a bowl or sauerkraut.
I always hated sauerkraut, can’t stand the smell of it, and I won’t eat it. But there is a difference between sauerkraut and alcohol in some respects for me. I will notice sauerkraut and become repulsed by it. I may or may not “notice” alcohol today, but my reaction to alcohol is the same as my reaction to a car driving by in the street, no reaction at all. It’s just another thing that I don’t do and doesn’t affect me one way or another.
So to answer your question, around a year and a half – FOR ME.
I’ve read along a couple of your threads. I imagine there are people who read these things who never post. And I believe that many who respond to posts do not necessarily respond the person who posed the initial question, but rather as in speaking to a group as a whole. Do not be offended and take issue with others because they did not answer your one question specifically. In an open discussion people will offer opinions, use their own reasoning or relate to anecdotal evidence to back up their answer, or to deflect from directly answering the question.
You would rather the responses be, “six months”, “three months”, “one year” etc. and leave it at that.
Unfortunately, as was stated already, no two people may have the same answer. For some it may be, “never”, for others it may be, “six months”.
In another thread you very quickly became annoyed because of the responses. I get it. I used to get annoyed too.
For me, I got in trouble and made the decision I was never going to drink again. That was it for me. I vowed to never allow alcohol to affect my life again. Never taking another drink was the only way to ensure that. Was it easy? Yes and no. Did I have ‘cravings’? Absolutely. Did I have “triggers”? I never heard of the term ‘triggers’ before I decided to quit drinking. As someone who drank for no reason for over 30 years, I didn’t need a ‘trigger’. Then in the spring as I started working outside, I found myself craving a drink as I was working in the garden. Because I never did any yard work without a beer in my hand, I suddenly realized that yard work was a ‘trigger’ for me. I can give you numerous examples of what ‘triggered’ me to drink. It was actually, more or less, an associative response. Call it a trigger call it association, it was anything I did that I had always done while drinking. Even if it was a response to stimuli that angered me, worried me, made me happy and put me in a celebratory mood. Whatever you want to call it, drinking in response to anything can be defined as a ‘trigger’. Even if you were used to waking up and pouting yourself a drink, waking up was a trigger. Sounds silly doesn’t it?
I imagine by six months my ‘triggers’ became less influential. By a year I could sit at a bar and not be tempted, but I still thought about it. It was also around a year that I realized I started to NOT NOTICE alcohol. Some time into the second year of being sober, it was like I never drank. After two years sober, I think about drinking and alcohol as much as I think about going out for a bowl or sauerkraut.
I always hated sauerkraut, can’t stand the smell of it, and I won’t eat it. But there is a difference between sauerkraut and alcohol in some respects for me. I will notice sauerkraut and become repulsed by it. I may or may not “notice” alcohol today, but my reaction to alcohol is the same as my reaction to a car driving by in the street, no reaction at all. It’s just another thing that I don’t do and doesn’t affect me one way or another.
So to answer your question, around a year and a half – FOR ME.
I haven't taken offense, I said that its unhealthy for *me* to be around. Leave it at that please. Thanks
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 128
I don't think it's a responsibility dodge at all. People just want to understand why drinking comes to mind at certain points. It often comes down to a time of day, a certain crowd or other fairly specific stressors like that. When you can put your finger on it, it makes it a lot easier to fix.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
It was somewhere between 9 month to one year. Gradually in that time frame I noticed I wasn't thinking about alcohol at all anymore.
When I stopped, alcohol was on my mind constantly....I wondered too...if that constant thiniking would EVER stop....
It was really, really, hard. I distracted myself as much as possible. Bribed, bought things, took a class here and there, bought books, movies, dvds, even the MAD magazine best of 3 decades from Ebay! 
Avoided places where people were drinking and if I HAD to go somewhere, I had a complete plan!
23 months for me now , and wondering WHY I ever drank alcohol at all.....life has improved so much.
When I stopped, alcohol was on my mind constantly....I wondered too...if that constant thiniking would EVER stop....
It was really, really, hard. I distracted myself as much as possible. Bribed, bought things, took a class here and there, bought books, movies, dvds, even the MAD magazine best of 3 decades from Ebay! Avoided places where people were drinking and if I HAD to go somewhere, I had a complete plan! 23 months for me now , and wondering WHY I ever drank alcohol at all.....life has improved so much.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, SoCal
Posts: 561
A trigger is just another way of saying habit, right? Its a habit for me to have a glass of wine after my shift. I could say that is a trigger for me. I did it for so long that immediately, in early recovery, I'm thinking of that glass of wine after my shift.
As I get stronger, my habits shift. Maybe I drink tea instead of wine. Eventually that's a habit.
Fortunately, we are all adaptable. Dropping bad habits for good habits is possible if you do it long enough. Eventually, if I drink tea every night at the end of my shift, I'm going to think of tea and not wine.
I can also say that anything is a trigger or habit because daily drinking anywhere, anytime was a habit for me for years.
As I get stronger, my habits shift. Maybe I drink tea instead of wine. Eventually that's a habit.
Fortunately, we are all adaptable. Dropping bad habits for good habits is possible if you do it long enough. Eventually, if I drink tea every night at the end of my shift, I'm going to think of tea and not wine.
I can also say that anything is a trigger or habit because daily drinking anywhere, anytime was a habit for me for years.
Join Date: Sep 2016
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I have come to view any thoughts of drinking as an immoral proposition, which I attribute to a part of my body that has been altered irrevocably. Such thoughts have not, and probably will not, ever go away, especially since alcohol is everywhere.
My conviction on this is such that I do not believe anyone who says that the desire can ever be removed. I will say, though, that the intensity of that desire does taper off over time, and becomes rather weak, comparatively, after about a year.
The desire will still "spike" from time to time, but it's not like at the beginning. I am well aware that it could be re-awakened full stop, however, by starting to drink again. It could happen gradually or quickly, but it would almost certainly happen.
My conviction on this is such that I do not believe anyone who says that the desire can ever be removed. I will say, though, that the intensity of that desire does taper off over time, and becomes rather weak, comparatively, after about a year.
The desire will still "spike" from time to time, but it's not like at the beginning. I am well aware that it could be re-awakened full stop, however, by starting to drink again. It could happen gradually or quickly, but it would almost certainly happen.
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Lexilynn, I think you are focusing on the specific words too much. For many of us 'thoughts of drinking' and triggers are interchangeable, one and the same. If you don't like the word triggers, try changing it in your mind to the phrase 'thoughts about drinking'. I think you will see that many people here are offering you really good advice.
For me, thoughts about drinking diminished as I worked on bringing healthy activities and good people into my life. It's a process.
For me, thoughts about drinking diminished as I worked on bringing healthy activities and good people into my life. It's a process.
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I don't believe in triggers for drinking. "Life is a trigger," as many in AA say, means to me that "sh*t happens, life is life." For every subject and object under the planet that we ever encounter. Drinking is no different. We make a good choice or a bad choice.
I don't think about MY drinking; I think about my alcoholism- my sobriety- and as I described in a thread awhile back, it is like a constant companion and best friend. I protect my best friend sobriety, and I do everything I can (using many resources) to build it up and grow it to be better and stronger.
I only think of "drinking" in terms of others' - what I see at work in the restaurant when I serve people, and how others behave, or how those around me talk about things they do when drinking. How a girlfriend has a martini then a glass of wine with our steak dinner. I click these "notices" through in my brain and they aren't a big deal. I am like an objective third party observer now.
Thinking about our own active drinking, romanticizing it, considering things triggers....counterproductive and potentially lethal.
I am not dismissing others' different perspectives on this, rather sharing my own "place" and that it is my ESH to keep this and maintain it, always.
I don't think about MY drinking; I think about my alcoholism- my sobriety- and as I described in a thread awhile back, it is like a constant companion and best friend. I protect my best friend sobriety, and I do everything I can (using many resources) to build it up and grow it to be better and stronger.
I only think of "drinking" in terms of others' - what I see at work in the restaurant when I serve people, and how others behave, or how those around me talk about things they do when drinking. How a girlfriend has a martini then a glass of wine with our steak dinner. I click these "notices" through in my brain and they aren't a big deal. I am like an objective third party observer now.
Thinking about our own active drinking, romanticizing it, considering things triggers....counterproductive and potentially lethal.
I am not dismissing others' different perspectives on this, rather sharing my own "place" and that it is my ESH to keep this and maintain it, always.
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For me a "trigger" is anything that lets your AV sound like your real voice and trick you into wanting a drink.
As an example my wife nagging me is a trigger because dying from alcohol would be an escape from her endless nagging. (so says my Addictive Voice).
Truly she's a caring and supportive wife who gets mad at me being a little too aloof and forgetful sometimes.
I find the Technique of Recognizing my Addictive Voice ASAP as a key to suppressing cravings. That's why I like the self help/brain re-programming technique of AVRT.
Also you could say a "trigger" is any event that causes your cravings to spike.
As an example my wife nagging me is a trigger because dying from alcohol would be an escape from her endless nagging. (so says my Addictive Voice).
Truly she's a caring and supportive wife who gets mad at me being a little too aloof and forgetful sometimes.
I find the Technique of Recognizing my Addictive Voice ASAP as a key to suppressing cravings. That's why I like the self help/brain re-programming technique of AVRT.
Also you could say a "trigger" is any event that causes your cravings to spike.
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Originally Posted by Anna
Lexilynn, I think you are focusing on the specific words too much. For many of us 'thoughts of drinking' and triggers are interchangeable, one and the same. If you don't like the word triggers, try changing it in your mind to the phrase 'thoughts about drinking'. I think you will see that many people here are offering you really good advice.
For me, thoughts about drinking diminished as I worked on bringing healthy activities and good people into my life. It's a process.
For me, thoughts about drinking diminished as I worked on bringing healthy activities and good people into my life. It's a process.
Google search definition below:
"A relapse can be defined as to fall or slide back into a former state. When a substance abuser relapses it means that they have returned to using alcohol or drugs after a period of being sober. A relapse trigger is an event that gives the individual the justification to return to this behavior."
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I always thought a trigger was something that strongly reminded you of when you would use drink in the past. Sort of "trigger" the strong MEMORY of using. Not something that MAKES you drink. A relapse is returning to former behaviour.
Hmm, funny how the same word can have different connotations for different people!
Hmm, funny how the same word can have different connotations for different people!
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Originally Posted by sainos
I always thought a trigger was something that strongly reminded you of when you would use drink in the past. Sort of "trigger" the strong MEMORY of using. Not something that MAKES you drink. A relapse is returning to former behaviour.
Hmm, funny how the same word can have different connotations for different people!
Hmm, funny how the same word can have different connotations for different people!
verb
rəˈlaps/
1.
(of someone suffering from a disease) suffer deterioration after a period of improvement.
synonyms: get ill/worse again, have/suffer a relapse, deteriorate, degenerate, take a turn for the worse
"a few patients relapse"
noun
ˈrēˌlaps/
1.
a deterioration in someone's state of health after a temporary improvement.
"he suffered a relapse of schizophrenia after a car crash"
synonyms: deterioration, turn for the worse, setback
"his sister suffered a relapse of leukemia and needed further treatment"
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I think the same meaning when I think of relapse. I just think of a trigger as a memory of what I have turned to drink for habitually in the past. Could be an arguement with someone, doesn't mean that person "made" me drink, means by poor coping mechanisms made me head straight for the bottle to take away my own bad feelings.
Or a sunny bank holiday Monday, because , it brings back memories of friends, and a day off work down the pub when I drank only socially (days long gone)
Thats what I think of as "triggers" For me, something that is a trigger doesn't have to turn into a relapse, not unless I am looking for a "good" excuse to drink. Then it's still my fault, cos I am looking for an excuse to drink!
Or a sunny bank holiday Monday, because , it brings back memories of friends, and a day off work down the pub when I drank only socially (days long gone)
Thats what I think of as "triggers" For me, something that is a trigger doesn't have to turn into a relapse, not unless I am looking for a "good" excuse to drink. Then it's still my fault, cos I am looking for an excuse to drink!
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When does drinking no longer come to mind?
that can vary. drinking as a solution to a problem? that stopped about 10 months, when the 10th step promises occurred for me.
I can still have the thought of a drink pop into my head from time to time. not necessarily as a solution for anything. I just sometimes think," an ice cold beer would be nice right now."
I don't let the thought control my actions and turn my thoughts to something more useful.
IMO, a relapse ends with a drink.
that can vary. drinking as a solution to a problem? that stopped about 10 months, when the 10th step promises occurred for me.
I can still have the thought of a drink pop into my head from time to time. not necessarily as a solution for anything. I just sometimes think," an ice cold beer would be nice right now."
I don't let the thought control my actions and turn my thoughts to something more useful.
IMO, a relapse ends with a drink.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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I think we are all different. I have seen many posters say it never occurs to them anymore.
I am 18 months sober. I think about drinking - in several ways. I think of the awful stuff that came before I quit. I think about the 'good times' when i was enjoying drinking. I can't help but always notice when someone orders a drink in a restaurant, and the thought almost always occurs to me that I'd like that drink too.
The only real difference I suppose for me now is impulse control. I let the moment come and go and let it wash over until it's gone. I have found this pretty effective to date.
When at home and no booze around, my mind tends not to drift towards the idea of drinking or the wish to drink.
I guess we are all complex in our own ways. I'd like to think that one day I'll be in a restaurant and those with me will order wine and I won't even blink (or feel that gross envy feeling)
I am 18 months sober. I think about drinking - in several ways. I think of the awful stuff that came before I quit. I think about the 'good times' when i was enjoying drinking. I can't help but always notice when someone orders a drink in a restaurant, and the thought almost always occurs to me that I'd like that drink too.
The only real difference I suppose for me now is impulse control. I let the moment come and go and let it wash over until it's gone. I have found this pretty effective to date.
When at home and no booze around, my mind tends not to drift towards the idea of drinking or the wish to drink.
I guess we are all complex in our own ways. I'd like to think that one day I'll be in a restaurant and those with me will order wine and I won't even blink (or feel that gross envy feeling)
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