lexilynn

Is it possible? I mean I feel normal now and I feel like I'm wasting my time going to AA. I'm frustrated or something even thinking of going to a meeting today because I feel fine and I'm very anxious to get my life moving .

How does one know if they didn't just jump the gun? I mean, seriously. How do I know that normal drinkers don't have cravings, ect. but deal with them differently? I mean I don't know anybody that drank and/or still drinks that didn't at least wind up drunk once before. Others just quit. How do I know it's not just possible to walk away with all the knowledge I have now and stay sober since I almost have 2 months by myself without working any steps. I mean in the past I couldnt even get 2 days at the end, But something is different since almost 2 months ago.

How do I know it just wasn't a long phase that I was going through?

lexilynn

Well, everybody besides my daughter's father. I never seen him drunk or drinking more then one. But he is a exception, he was in a motorcycle accident and injured his head.

EndGameNYC

What's different from two months ago is that you now seem to think you can drink safely, based on the fact that you feel better, and that you've not had a drink in all of two months. Nearly everyone who gets sober has such thoughts at one time or another. They technically do not know either, until some start drinking again, often paying a heavy price for something that is much more pernicious than idle curiosity.

I won't tell you not to drink since it seems you've already cast your vote.

One more thing...AA and the AA Big Book give no advice about how to stop drinking or about how to control our drinking, so I'm not sure how what you've learned so far will help you.

fred59

who said you have to go to AA, there are other recovery programs. You could talk to an addiction specialists and get a better assessment to your possible drinking problem, or you can keep drinking and eventually you will know if you have a drinking problem.
time will tell, wishing you all the best.

january161992

stay

Upstairs

"Is it possible? I mean I feel normal now and I feel like I'm wasting my time going to AA. I'm frustrated or something even thinking of going to a meeting today because I feel fine and I'm very anxious to get my life moving . "

Eh, same here. Once I finished my 28 day stint at a clinic, I never attended another AA meeting. I don't think you need to go to them to stay sober. I do have to be mindful that I do have a problem with drinking though. From what I have learned here on SR, years of sobriety will never turn me into someone that can drink moderately. I hope that helps

Maudcat

Lexilynn, are you not liking AA? Do you feel it is or isn't helping? I ask because I was very supported in A A in the early days of sobriety, but ultimately felt it wasn't the program for me. AA or not, I cannot drink. I know that. Took me a while to figure it out, though. There are other programs out there. Visit the "secular recovery" forum of this site and you will see. Peace.

Linz805

I've often been told I over exaggerate and I shouldn't feel so bad when I drink to excess , everyone does it. I have wondered if they are right. Maybe I wasn't so bad. The only important thing to me is I KNOW I can't drink normally and have a big problem with it. There is a reason you stopped drinking for 2 months right? Something must have been bad enough for you to make it this far. I hope you continue it because I think if you walk away you will be back eventually. That's just my thoughts. But I do understand what your saying

Delilah1

There are lots of options for recovery that do not include AA. There is a reason we all find ourselves on this site, and we wouldn't have ended up here if we could control our drinking.

Spend some time reading around on here and figure out the supports you need to remain sober.

Delizadee

I sobered up after multiple detoxes and felt fine after about a month and decided I could go back out and control my drinking. In two months I was back in a detox centre.

Generally speaking once you've questioned you have a problem, you do.
Others have suggested trying out other options.
Is it just the program of AA that turns you off?
You could try out AVRT, maybe check out the secular connections forum and reach out there and talk about where you're at, and talking to an addictions counselor might help you.

You can try staying sober on your own. You can try controlled drinking even if you so decide. I agree it sounds like your mind is made up.

My mind was made up too when I got frustrated with the advice I was getting here and deleted my account.
I wasted another 3 years struggling with drinking instead of accepting all the help I could get.

Only you can figure out what's best for you.
But I hope you stay.

SereneEdition

What does 'getting your life moving' look like and why is not drinking preventing you from moving forward?

At 3 months I started feeling better and could adjust my focus from abstinence to recovery: the underlying reason why I was drinking.

Perhaps it's time to explore there?

MIRecovery

A good friend's mother told him he should quit drinking because he just wasn't very good at it. This somes up my problem, "I'm just not good at it."

doggonecarl

So are you questioning that you have to go to AA to stay sober? The next question is often, "Am I even an alcoholic?" which usually leads to drinking.

I hope total sobriety remains your goal.

tomsteve

heres a few lines from the big book


Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.


my life started moving forward the day I walked into AA and started working the steps.

Algorithm

That depends. Are you ever going to drink again, or not?

You can certainly leave your old drinking life behind and move on, but not if you start drinking again.

Berrybean

What happened in between this post... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lf-enough.html

... and today?

SparkleKitty

If it's a helpful perspective, I consider myself a normal drinker (I usually post in the Friends & Family section), and I never crave alcohol, nor do I spend any time or energy thinking about or trying to suss out my personal relationship with alcohol. If all the alcohol in the world disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow it would not change my life in the slightest.

ScottFromWI

You don't. There is no test you can take to prove that you are an alcoholic or not. You simply have to accept it. I can tell you from my experience that I thought exactly the same way as you after quitting for a period of time, more than once actually. And every time I did I tried "controlled" drinking. Sometimes it even worked for a few weeks or so, but each and every time I eventually returned to every day binge drinking.

I think the best thing you can do is sit down and objectively look at how your drinking affected you in the past. And then ask yourself what has changed in 2 months that would allow you to somehow go back to being a "normal" drinker. The vast majority can never go back and sometimes when they do they never get another chance to get sober.

Think it through...talk it out. Call your sponsor if you have one. It's your life that you are gambling with.

EndGameNYC

Same with me. And there's nothing at all "normal" about the way I drink.

Treerat66

Hi Lexilyn,

Try reading this thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oholic-if.html

I tick lots of the boxes, I'm an alcoholic.