Truthfully, I feel like walking away and seriously thinking of doing so.
Catch 22
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 327
LL you seem to be angry at the responses. I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again. The responses were well meant. The answer to your question in my view is this: you can do whatever you want as long as you are prepared to live with the consequences. I also left AA and I am doing just fine. If I feel I need AA again I will not hesitate to go back. We all seek and find our own path. Good luck.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
BerryBean said:
"Service (generally as well as 12th step work). "
Service work comes in many, MANY forms... One not less important then the other, that's what I was taught (what is taught around here), although 12th step work comes *after* step 11, the steps are numbered for a reason and are meant to be done in order.
I never worked all the steps. I only worked steps 1-3 & started on step 4, then a circumstance came up and I let my sponsor go.
Some of the other service work is:
1) Unlocking the building.
2) Setting up for the meeting.
3) Greeting New comers and talking to newcomers before and after the meeting.
4) Chairing the meeting.
5) Cleaning up after the meeting (inside and outside).
6) Holding a trusted service position.
"Service (generally as well as 12th step work). "
Service work comes in many, MANY forms... One not less important then the other, that's what I was taught (what is taught around here), although 12th step work comes *after* step 11, the steps are numbered for a reason and are meant to be done in order.
I never worked all the steps. I only worked steps 1-3 & started on step 4, then a circumstance came up and I let my sponsor go.
Some of the other service work is:
1) Unlocking the building.
2) Setting up for the meeting.
3) Greeting New comers and talking to newcomers before and after the meeting.
4) Chairing the meeting.
5) Cleaning up after the meeting (inside and outside).
6) Holding a trusted service position.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
Darwinia said:
"LL you seem to be angry at the responses."
I don't know what gives you that impression nor an I interested in knowing. What you are doing is assuming without cause.
Once again, I do not like to be accused of things. nor is it very welcoming or helpful.
It serves NO good purpose whatsoever.
However it does cause chaos, commotion & anger.
Darwinia said:
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
Btw, yes I'm a little mad... Now.
"LL you seem to be angry at the responses."
I don't know what gives you that impression nor an I interested in knowing. What you are doing is assuming without cause.
Once again, I do not like to be accused of things. nor is it very welcoming or helpful.
It serves NO good purpose whatsoever.
However it does cause chaos, commotion & anger.
Darwinia said:
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
Btw, yes I'm a little mad... Now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by lexilynn 
BerryBean said:
"Service (generally as well as 12th step work). "
Service work comes in many, MANY forms... One not less important then the other, that's what I was taught (what is taught around here), although 12th step work comes *after* step 11, the steps are numbered for a reason and are meant to be done in order.
I never worked all the steps. I only worked steps 1-3 & started on step 4, then a circumstance came up and I let my sponsor go.
Some of the other service work is:
1) Unlocking the building.
2) Setting up for the meeting.
3) Greeting New comers and talking to newcomers before and after the meeting.
4) Chairing the meeting.
5) Cleaning up after the meeting (inside and outside).
6) Holding a trusted service position.
"Service (generally as well as 12th step work). "
Service work comes in many, MANY forms... One not less important then the other, that's what I was taught (what is taught around here), although 12th step work comes *after* step 11, the steps are numbered for a reason and are meant to be done in order.
I never worked all the steps. I only worked steps 1-3 & started on step 4, then a circumstance came up and I let my sponsor go.
Some of the other service work is:
1) Unlocking the building.
2) Setting up for the meeting.
3) Greeting New comers and talking to newcomers before and after the meeting.
4) Chairing the meeting.
5) Cleaning up after the meeting (inside and outside).
6) Holding a trusted service position.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by lexilynn
Darwinia said:
"LL you seem to be angry at the responses."
I don't know what gives you that impression nor an I interested in knowing. What you are doing is assuming without cause.
Once again, I do not like to be accused of things. nor is it very welcoming or helpful.
It serves NO good purpose whatsoever.
However it does cause chaos, commotion & anger.
Darwinia said:
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
Btw, yes I'm a little mad... Now.
"LL you seem to be angry at the responses."
I don't know what gives you that impression nor an I interested in knowing. What you are doing is assuming without cause.
Once again, I do not like to be accused of things. nor is it very welcoming or helpful.
It serves NO good purpose whatsoever.
However it does cause chaos, commotion & anger.
Darwinia said:
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
Btw, yes I'm a little mad... Now.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Berrybean
Exactly. That's why I said 'generally ' as well as 12th step work.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Berrybean
Tilting at windmills really is counterproductive to recovery.
Idk what that means but I see a problem forming. I'm going to let you go. Thanks anyway.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Whatever. I didn't mean to imply (or think I did imply ) that one was better or more important than the other. Smoke screen and nit pick all you like, but while you're inventing disagreements and adversaries you could be putting that energy into your recovery. Think I'll do just that for a bit.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Darwinia said:
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
ah, lexilynn, i read your original post. and i got that impression.
and now that i've re-read it, i don't know why. i'm thinking it's the word 'normal' that threw me off, that made me assume 'normal drinker', and it looks like many of us misunderstood your OP.
wasn't til i got to Freshstart's response that i clued in to a wholly different interpretation of your OP and intention.
really, i do think this was basically a huge misunderstanding.
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
ah, lexilynn, i read your original post. and i got that impression.
and now that i've re-read it, i don't know why. i'm thinking it's the word 'normal' that threw me off, that made me assume 'normal drinker', and it looks like many of us misunderstood your OP.
wasn't til i got to Freshstart's response that i clued in to a wholly different interpretation of your OP and intention.
really, i do think this was basically a huge misunderstanding.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by fini
Darwinia said:
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
ah, lexilynn, i read your original post. and i got that impression.
and now that i've re-read it, i don't know why. i'm thinking it's the word 'normal' that threw me off, that made me assume 'normal drinker', and it looks like many of us misunderstood your OP.
wasn't til i got to Freshstart's response that i clued in to a wholly different interpretation of your OP and intention.
really, i do think this was basically a huge misunderstanding.
" I think your original post created the unintended impression that you consider drinking again."
It did not, for those that read it.
ah, lexilynn, i read your original post. and i got that impression.
and now that i've re-read it, i don't know why. i'm thinking it's the word 'normal' that threw me off, that made me assume 'normal drinker', and it looks like many of us misunderstood your OP.
wasn't til i got to Freshstart's response that i clued in to a wholly different interpretation of your OP and intention.
really, i do think this was basically a huge misunderstanding.
Since I feel fine, I really don't feel that I should be there.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
I have had time periods sober in the past and I really can't claim that I have had a *real* sponsor here.
I only had one *real* sponsor, and she lives in the UK, that's the one that I started the steps with, years ago.
I only had one *real* sponsor, and she lives in the UK, that's the one that I started the steps with, years ago.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Lexi, the only "formal" recovery program I have is to come on SR. I've never done AA. Well, I went to a few meetings but it wasn't for me. I did go to inpatient rehab almost a year ago and I've been sober ever since. I find the less I focus on alcohol (including recovery) and the more I focus on other things (i.e. life), the better off I am. But that's just me.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
lexilynn,
I totally get you. You remind me so much of me it scares me. The reason it scares me is I understand exactly why you're questioning because I've been there. I had sobriety under my belt (I thought) and I was happy. I didn't feel a need to attend AA anymore. I was living life and I was happy. Then, eventually, due to lack of mindfulness, I started to drink again. Not all the time. not even every week. I even somewhat got away with it many nights without any incident. Still, the fact rings true that something eventually happens that bites you in the butt. You just hope it's not something really bad and really big like it was in my case.
Anyway, if I'm hearing you right you're feeling confident about your sobriety and you're thinking about not attending AA anymore. No one can decide for you what your active recovery plan should be. I go to AA but I fully support anyone's right to whatever they choose to do that keeps them mindful of their sobriety. As long as they are sober, honestly happy, and working on staying mindful.
If you don't feel like AA is for you then so be it. But, please, replace it with something that will never let you forget why you got sober in the first place. This is key and of the utmost importance in remaining sober. If you fail to do this you will eventually become complacent and drink. If drinking wasn't an issue for you then you wouldn't be here.
Life is so much better without alcohol. If you don't consistently remind yourself of this the AV will eventually win. Don't let that happen.
There are so many great programs out there and this board is a MUST. You can do this. Don't threaten the happiness you've found in sobriety. The outcome is never worth it.
I totally get you. You remind me so much of me it scares me. The reason it scares me is I understand exactly why you're questioning because I've been there. I had sobriety under my belt (I thought) and I was happy. I didn't feel a need to attend AA anymore. I was living life and I was happy. Then, eventually, due to lack of mindfulness, I started to drink again. Not all the time. not even every week. I even somewhat got away with it many nights without any incident. Still, the fact rings true that something eventually happens that bites you in the butt. You just hope it's not something really bad and really big like it was in my case.
Anyway, if I'm hearing you right you're feeling confident about your sobriety and you're thinking about not attending AA anymore. No one can decide for you what your active recovery plan should be. I go to AA but I fully support anyone's right to whatever they choose to do that keeps them mindful of their sobriety. As long as they are sober, honestly happy, and working on staying mindful.
If you don't feel like AA is for you then so be it. But, please, replace it with something that will never let you forget why you got sober in the first place. This is key and of the utmost importance in remaining sober. If you fail to do this you will eventually become complacent and drink. If drinking wasn't an issue for you then you wouldn't be here.
Life is so much better without alcohol. If you don't consistently remind yourself of this the AV will eventually win. Don't let that happen.
There are so many great programs out there and this board is a MUST. You can do this. Don't threaten the happiness you've found in sobriety. The outcome is never worth it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I don't think there's any real statistics on those things, but I could be wrong.
Avrt, Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking", "This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol" Are all aimed at logically showing you you can stop drinking and stayed stopped with out the aide of any recovery program. Avrt is very much contrary to the recovery movement. You make a choice not to drink ever again, and move on with life.
So, if that is your aim, I don't see why not looking into those things, as you do seem concerned if not about your own chances, at least are curious about a person's chance in general?
A book or two or a bit more reading is not putting a whole lot into investment towards a life of sobriety, and if the recovery movement is not for you.
I do believe it can be done, and people can do it, I think you have to have an open mind though.
I know for me too, eventually I want to get on with life and live a healthy balanced life where I'm not totally consumed by my recovery. Right now I am and have to be. And that's just me too.
Anywho, you could always try googling the statistics. You keep saying you don't want to look into other things, yet you keep asking questions on here.
Only you will know in the long run if you can do it on your own with no plan or no support.
Avrt, Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking", "This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol" Are all aimed at logically showing you you can stop drinking and stayed stopped with out the aide of any recovery program. Avrt is very much contrary to the recovery movement. You make a choice not to drink ever again, and move on with life.
So, if that is your aim, I don't see why not looking into those things, as you do seem concerned if not about your own chances, at least are curious about a person's chance in general?
A book or two or a bit more reading is not putting a whole lot into investment towards a life of sobriety, and if the recovery movement is not for you.
I do believe it can be done, and people can do it, I think you have to have an open mind though.
I know for me too, eventually I want to get on with life and live a healthy balanced life where I'm not totally consumed by my recovery. Right now I am and have to be. And that's just me too.
Anywho, you could always try googling the statistics. You keep saying you don't want to look into other things, yet you keep asking questions on here.
Only you will know in the long run if you can do it on your own with no plan or no support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 113
Lexi, I have been going to AA meetings for a couple of weeks now and I actually feel much better so I know they are helping me but on the other hand, not getting blinding drunk for a few days really cleared up my thinking and although I had 2 drinks last night, I didn't want more - who knows how or why things work the way they do??? We are all different and all we can do is listen to those who have experience and go from there.
Whatever you do, I wish you well!
Whatever you do, I wish you well!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by SparkleKitty
If it's a helpful perspective, I consider myself a normal drinker (I usually post in the Friends & Family section), and I never crave alcohol, nor do I spend any time or energy thinking about or trying to suss out my personal relationship with alcohol. If all the alcohol in the world disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow it would not change my life in the slightest.
If you have to ask yourself the question, you aren't a normal drinker.
To be blunt, you're either ready to quit or you're not. Period, full stop. The mental wrangling can go on forever, or you can make up your mind that sobriety is a permanent choice.
I hope you choose sobriety.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
lexilynn,
I totally get you. You remind me so much of me it scares me. The reason it scares me is I understand exactly why you're questioning because I've been there. I had sobriety under my belt (I thought) and I was happy. I didn't feel a need to attend AA anymore. I was living life and I was happy. Then, eventually, due to lack of mindfulness, I started to drink again. Not all the time. not even every week. I even somewhat got away with it many nights without any incident. Still, the fact rings true that something eventually happens that bites you in the butt. You just hope it's not something really bad and really big like it was in my case.
Anyway, if I'm hearing you right you're feeling confident about your sobriety and you're thinking about not attending AA anymore. No one can decide for you what your active recovery plan should be. I go to AA but I fully support anyone's right to whatever they choose to do that keeps them mindful of their sobriety. As long as they are sober, honestly happy, and working on staying mindful.
If you don't feel like AA is for you then so be it. But, please, replace it with something that will never let you forget why you got sober in the first place. This is key and of the utmost importance in remaining sober. If you fail to do this you will eventually become complacent and drink. If drinking wasn't an issue for you then you wouldn't be here.
Life is so much better without alcohol. If you don't consistently remind yourself of this the AV will eventually win. Don't let that happen.
There are so many great programs out there and this board is a MUST. You can do this. Don't threaten the happiness you've found in sobriety. The outcome is never worth it.
I totally get you. You remind me so much of me it scares me. The reason it scares me is I understand exactly why you're questioning because I've been there. I had sobriety under my belt (I thought) and I was happy. I didn't feel a need to attend AA anymore. I was living life and I was happy. Then, eventually, due to lack of mindfulness, I started to drink again. Not all the time. not even every week. I even somewhat got away with it many nights without any incident. Still, the fact rings true that something eventually happens that bites you in the butt. You just hope it's not something really bad and really big like it was in my case.
Anyway, if I'm hearing you right you're feeling confident about your sobriety and you're thinking about not attending AA anymore. No one can decide for you what your active recovery plan should be. I go to AA but I fully support anyone's right to whatever they choose to do that keeps them mindful of their sobriety. As long as they are sober, honestly happy, and working on staying mindful.
If you don't feel like AA is for you then so be it. But, please, replace it with something that will never let you forget why you got sober in the first place. This is key and of the utmost importance in remaining sober. If you fail to do this you will eventually become complacent and drink. If drinking wasn't an issue for you then you wouldn't be here.
Life is so much better without alcohol. If you don't consistently remind yourself of this the AV will eventually win. Don't let that happen.
There are so many great programs out there and this board is a MUST. You can do this. Don't threaten the happiness you've found in sobriety. The outcome is never worth it.
I'm not per se *happy* (actually far from it but I'm not drinking and I have no intention to do so) and at this point, it's really not a matter of if I think I need it or if I think I don't need it but rather coming to terms with not receiving help, and stopping the insanity of trying to find a sponsor around here, and the wasted time of attending meetings since I can't find one. A real one, at least.
I had a few "sponsors" in the past, one that asked me questions so she could judge me, random questions like if I always feel like people want things from me. She'd ask me these questions out of the blue. I think I used her as a sponsor a whole 2 days.
Another "sponsor" I had very briefly made the comment as soon as I asked her to sponsor me was , yes but I'm not here to be your friend. I let her go as well within days besides she was going through things such as a lose of a family member and something else (idr) and I found out that she had "45 thousand" other sponsee's anyway.
Then I had a "sponsor" sober but was smoking pot, I let her go the day that I found out. Then a had a sponsor, she assigned me things to read out of the Big Book and I started working the steps (I got partly thru step 4) but a circumstance came up and I let her go, and my last "sponsor" never talked to me in person, not even a hello before the AA meetings nor even a good bye after the meeting, nothing ever one on one from even the beginning besides to give me my first assignment which was to read chapter One out of the Twelve and twelve until she told me to stop. Nothing more ever. After about the 8th or 9th reading the chapter (maybe a few more times then 8 or 9 times) I was having issues (cravings), I tried to call her but she didn't answer her phone. I was going to ask her what to do about that along with telling her that I really needed to move along and get started on the steps. It was about 3pm or so in the evening when I tried to call her. I wound up letting her go via voice mail that evening after I relapsed. We never talked in person nor via call, ever. Come to find out she had no intention on sponsoring me unless I went to the doctor and went on meds. because *she* thinks I need them because "sometimes I looked/seemed fine and other times I didn't. ". I never shared at a meeting (besides years ago, a few times nowhere around here nor are any of the people that was there, the same people as the current AA meeting location that I attend. So she is basing her thoughts on her own and the people in AA she talks to that I know and there is history with.
I have asked others in the past but they declined.
And others now, come & go, or don't have sponsors theirself and/or never worked the steps yet, or have less time then I do, and/or are from the rehab, and/or aren't sober, and others don't stick around before or after the meeting, ect, ect, ect. .
So my question is this. Is the chance any greater remaining sober with AA compared to without AA and not working the steps or anything else?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
