Truthfully, I feel like walking away and seriously thinking of doing so.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
Originally Posted by PurpleKnight 
Normal drinkers don't sign up and post on recovery websites!! 
The site is filled with stories of folks who have been sober only to have that first sip and start the downward spiral. Some of the stories are of firsthand experience and some about friends or family. What's not told are stories of those who started drinking again, but have years of a normal relationship with alcohol. It happens and I know a couple in RL and maybe folks like that no longer post here because they don't need the support that this great site provides so we get a skewed image of what goes on in the larger, non self selected population. All of that is conjecture on my part and I have no meaningful evidence to either support or refute the theory.
For the record, I don't drink, I have no intention of doing so, and want to emphasize what I wrote in my first sentence about not advocating that the OP test the waters.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hey, Gonnachange, thanks for your post. I believe that everyone's dance with alcohol is individual, though there are certainly commonalities. I also believe that recovery plans, programs, steps, etc. are individual as well. That being said, I have observed that many of the posters here have either had their struggles with alcohol, or have seen loved ones struggle. Many, including me, have determined that alcohol is not something they can have in their lives with any positive results. My life is much simpler because I don't drink, and I like that. So, I guess what I am saying, and this is my opinion only, is that you don't see much posting about successfully moderating alcohol intake here. I am not saying it doesn't happen. I am simply saying that I don't hear about it much on this site. Peace.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Gonnachange
I'm not asking this to be argumentative nor am I advocating the OP start drinking. I am only seeking insight. Without a doubt, aside from people with friends or family who have issues with alcohol, people come to a site like this because they recognize that they are drinking too much. Does that automatically label them an alcoholic with no chance that they're just someone whose drinking is getting out of control? I don't have the answer and, at least early on, it may be just a matter of semantics, but assuming there is a difference I can fully understand someone in the latter camp coming to SR to gain knowledge about their personal situation and how to make changes in their lifestyle so they can return to an existence where alcohol is not problematic.
The site is filled with stories of folks who have been sober only to have that first sip and start the downward spiral. Some of the stories are of firsthand experience and some about friends or family. What's not told are stories of those who started drinking again, but have years of a normal relationship with alcohol. It happens and I know a couple in RL and maybe folks like that no longer post here because they don't need the support that this great site provides so we get a skewed image of what goes on in the larger, non self selected population. All of that is conjecture on my part and I have no meaningful evidence to either support or refute the theory.
For the record, I don't drink, I have no intention of doing so, and want to emphasize what I wrote in my first sentence about not advocating that the OP test the waters.
The site is filled with stories of folks who have been sober only to have that first sip and start the downward spiral. Some of the stories are of firsthand experience and some about friends or family. What's not told are stories of those who started drinking again, but have years of a normal relationship with alcohol. It happens and I know a couple in RL and maybe folks like that no longer post here because they don't need the support that this great site provides so we get a skewed image of what goes on in the larger, non self selected population. All of that is conjecture on my part and I have no meaningful evidence to either support or refute the theory.
For the record, I don't drink, I have no intention of doing so, and want to emphasize what I wrote in my first sentence about not advocating that the OP test the waters.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
What's not told are stories of those who started drinking again, but have years of a normal relationship with alcohol. It happens and I know a couple in RL and maybe folks like that no longer post here because they don't need the support that this great site provides so we get a skewed image of what goes on in the larger, non self selected population. All of that is conjecture on my part and I have no meaningful evidence to either support or refute the theory. What's not told are stories of those who started drinking again, but have years of a normal relationship with alcohol. It happens and I know a couple in RL and maybe folks like that no longer post here because they don't need the support that this great site provides so we get a skewed image of what goes on in the larger, non self selected population. All of that is conjecture on my part and I have no meaningful evidence to either support or refute the theory.
I take this forum, and the people in it very seriously and I feel affronted.
Honestly I think that's an incredibly dangerous thing to post in a newcomers thread and a Newcomers forum, especially as 'conjecture'.
This is not the general populace.
This is a recovery forum.
If I'd read something like this in 2007 when I first came here I might have gone out and kept drinking...because my great desire - the great dream - was that one day I would have the relationship I wanted with alcohol.
Does that automatically label them an alcoholic with no chance that they're just someone whose drinking is getting out of control? I don't have the answer and, at least early on, it may be just a matter of semantics, but assuming there is a difference I can fully understand someone in the latter camp coming to SR to gain knowledge about their personal situation and how to make changes in their lifestyle so they can return to an existence where alcohol is not problematic.
You may not have meant it this way - but I gotta say your phrase 'return to an existence where alcohol is not problematic' is an odd phrase...
it implies to me a life where alcohol use continues, just not problematically.
The great dream I mentioned before....
For me alcohol was not some irritant, or some small aberration to be corrected - it was killing me.
I needed to accept that - and I needed to accept that I could not be who I wanted, or live the life I wanted, with alcohol in it.
You, or others, may feel your circumstances differ...but I think it's the responsible thing to recognise that such a bell curve does exist here at SR.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
Maudcat, thank you for your response. I agree with you that the tenor, actually purpose, of SR is not to aid moderation which is why there isn't much written about it and I'm not proposing any changes to that. I was only throwing out a discussion point revolving around the philosophy that everyone coming here is not a normal drinker because it's my belief that although they may not stay some come here seeking advice and are able to return to normal drinking habits, which itself is a highly subjective term.
Tomsteve, before I posted I did not do as you suggested so I have no context about this particular situation. I have to leave the house shortly, but will research upon my return. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Tomsteve, before I posted I did not do as you suggested so I have no context about this particular situation. I have to leave the house shortly, but will research upon my return. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
When someone's drinking is getting out of control, there's a shift into the realm of substance abuse. (Alcohol misuse, abuse, problematic drinking, etc.) And after that, there's a point when it shifts into the realm of addiction. I doubt many of us, if any, could really identify when those shifts happen. I mean, for a shift like this to happen, self-awareness and insight into one's habits must be lacking, right?
It's really hard to say when one goes from being a normal drinker to a problematic drinker to an abuser of alcohol and then, to alcoholism. But it happens.
It's not often I meet or see people posting who identify as a once normal drinker, who then drank problematically, and then went back to being a normal drinker. I have met a few online at a moderation site, but I didn't know them personally, and I never witnessed their drinking in person. Who's to say how successful they were? I was there, attempting to moderate, and lying about my drinking. I was a great example of someone who thought she really could reverse things and 'learn' to drink 'appropriately.'
I could only stay sober once I accepted I could never, ever drink again. Never. There are NO exceptions.
It's really hard to say when one goes from being a normal drinker to a problematic drinker to an abuser of alcohol and then, to alcoholism. But it happens.
It's not often I meet or see people posting who identify as a once normal drinker, who then drank problematically, and then went back to being a normal drinker. I have met a few online at a moderation site, but I didn't know them personally, and I never witnessed their drinking in person. Who's to say how successful they were? I was there, attempting to moderate, and lying about my drinking. I was a great example of someone who thought she really could reverse things and 'learn' to drink 'appropriately.'
I could only stay sober once I accepted I could never, ever drink again. Never. There are NO exceptions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by Gonnachange
people come to a site like this because they recognize that they are drinking too much. Does that automatically label them an alcoholic with no chance that they're just someone whose drinking is getting out of control?
Normal, every day, moderation drinkers don't go looking for recovery sites, why would they? why seek out information about their drinking, if there is no problem.
Volume of alcohol is irrelevant, at all times we need to look at behaviours, how do we react to our drinking, what steps do we take, and for me I was far from that of a normal drinker!!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Thanks, Dee.
I was going to write something on this but then decided to pass. Though I don't do it for kicks or to rile anyone, I do push the envelope from time to time, and I saw where my response might lead me.
Though the OP may not have intended to be argumentative, I don't see any practical way of avoiding open controversy with such a subject that's so sensitive for so many. "Open and objective discussion of anything and everything" is an ideal that only the young and the naive believe in.
I haven't seen anyone check in here about their success in moderating, even those who held their bottles high when informing us of how well they were doing by successfully drinking "every now and then" following years of self-destruction. And were such a comment to appear, I'd be very skeptical, at the very least. On the other hand, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people who've eventually made it back to report that their attempts at moderation brought them to their knees, destroyed everything good in their lives, and/or nearly killed them. That's enough evidence for me. But even all that is beside the point.
Without getting into definitions about what an alcoholic is or is not, the number of people who "successfully" moderate is likely to be so small as to render it insignificant, both clinically and statistically. This is based on my personal experience, my experience as a clinician treating people with addictions, and about fifteen years of federally funded research on alcoholism and other addictions in major medical centers and treatment institutions in New York City.
For me, it just doesn't happen. The only reason that the one person we meet in our lives who appears to be an exception gets our attention is because it is so unusual as to take a prominent place in our memories, even if it is a genuine case of going from destructive drinking to moderation. And, for my money, it's nothing more than that.
It doesn't work. The risk you take by "giving it a shot" is extremely dangerous and potentially lethal. I don't see any other way around it. Even the attempt itself is destructive, regardless of the outcome.
I was going to write something on this but then decided to pass. Though I don't do it for kicks or to rile anyone, I do push the envelope from time to time, and I saw where my response might lead me.
Though the OP may not have intended to be argumentative, I don't see any practical way of avoiding open controversy with such a subject that's so sensitive for so many. "Open and objective discussion of anything and everything" is an ideal that only the young and the naive believe in.
I haven't seen anyone check in here about their success in moderating, even those who held their bottles high when informing us of how well they were doing by successfully drinking "every now and then" following years of self-destruction. And were such a comment to appear, I'd be very skeptical, at the very least. On the other hand, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people who've eventually made it back to report that their attempts at moderation brought them to their knees, destroyed everything good in their lives, and/or nearly killed them. That's enough evidence for me. But even all that is beside the point.
Without getting into definitions about what an alcoholic is or is not, the number of people who "successfully" moderate is likely to be so small as to render it insignificant, both clinically and statistically. This is based on my personal experience, my experience as a clinician treating people with addictions, and about fifteen years of federally funded research on alcoholism and other addictions in major medical centers and treatment institutions in New York City.
For me, it just doesn't happen. The only reason that the one person we meet in our lives who appears to be an exception gets our attention is because it is so unusual as to take a prominent place in our memories, even if it is a genuine case of going from destructive drinking to moderation. And, for my money, it's nothing more than that.
It doesn't work. The risk you take by "giving it a shot" is extremely dangerous and potentially lethal. I don't see any other way around it. Even the attempt itself is destructive, regardless of the outcome.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Be it a thimble, glass or bucket. I have two questions:
1) Why would anyone want, as a part of their life experience, the ability to ingest an absolutely useless addictive poison without too many bad consequences, too often?
2) If there's a valid reason, could we next discuss 'moderation of cyanide'? If someone comes up with a reason, I'll make the OP for the cyanide topic myself.
I'm having difficulty taking some of the concepts presented in this thread and applying them to other scenarios in hopes of validating it. If you think you have a problem, you most likely do. Let's say one's body is actually a house. If I had a house and I saw the house on fire, would I need to check with someone first as to 'if the matter is serious'? Or would I know that, if I don't act fast, get necessary help to limit the damage already done and make sure the rebuilt version is as fire-proof as possible?
Sure, there's nothing rational about alcohol addiction. Doesn't mean we can't make the effort to expose the lies it tells us and makes us tell to others.
1) Why would anyone want, as a part of their life experience, the ability to ingest an absolutely useless addictive poison without too many bad consequences, too often?
2) If there's a valid reason, could we next discuss 'moderation of cyanide'? If someone comes up with a reason, I'll make the OP for the cyanide topic myself.
I'm having difficulty taking some of the concepts presented in this thread and applying them to other scenarios in hopes of validating it. If you think you have a problem, you most likely do. Let's say one's body is actually a house. If I had a house and I saw the house on fire, would I need to check with someone first as to 'if the matter is serious'? Or would I know that, if I don't act fast, get necessary help to limit the damage already done and make sure the rebuilt version is as fire-proof as possible?
Sure, there's nothing rational about alcohol addiction. Doesn't mean we can't make the effort to expose the lies it tells us and makes us tell to others.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
I'm back from a short errand and based upon the comments while I was away it's apparent I've caused controversy when that was not my intent. Before I left I wrote a hasty PM to Dee after reading what he wrote and while I would sincerely like to discuss the topic of who comes to SR and some of the points made by other posters, some of which I agree with and some of which I don't, this clearly is the wrong place to do so and will respect the values of the forum. Causing possible harm to somebody is the last thing I want to happen.
To reiterate my position, I don't drink, have no intention of doing so, and am not advocating that anyone test their sobriety with an attempt at moderation.
To reiterate my position, I don't drink, have no intention of doing so, and am not advocating that anyone test their sobriety with an attempt at moderation.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I didn't reply to you directly Lexilynn cos I think others did a great job.
but I hope, whether you decide to continue with AA or not, that you decide to continue an alcohol-free life
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontė, Jane Eyre
Make good choices
D
but I hope, whether you decide to continue with AA or not, that you decide to continue an alcohol-free life
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontė, Jane Eyre
Make good choices
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
How do I know it's not just possible to walk away with all the knowledge I have now....
hi Lexilynn,
interested to know what all this new knowledge is that you have now, that you didn't have before but which might mean you can just walk away?
hi Lexilynn,
interested to know what all this new knowledge is that you have now, that you didn't have before but which might mean you can just walk away?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
How do I know it's not just possible to walk away with all the knowledge I have now and stay sober since I almost have 2 months by myself without working any steps.
If you have an uneasy feeling reading this, I suggest that some more thinking is in order. If deep inside, you are shouting Yes Yes, then by all means, never darken those doors again. You have some serious joyous living to do, and now is a great time to do it. Onward!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
EndGameNYC said:
"What's different from two months ago is that you now seem to think you can drink safely, based on the fact that you feel better, and that you've not had a drink in all of two months. Nearly everyone who gets sober has such thoughts at one time or another."
I am not talking about drinking, Nor have that thought on my mind this time.
What I mean is, just moving forward with my life *without* alcohol.
EndGameNYC said:
"I won't tell you not to drink since it seems you've already cast your vote."
Yes, I have, and my vote is *not* to drink.
EndGameNYC said:
"One more thing...AA and the AA Big Book give no advice about how to stop drinking or about how to control our drinking,"
You are right, it doesn't, but it does tell you how to *stay stopped*.
_________________
Fred59 said:
"You could talk to an addiction specialists"
Thank you but I'm unwilling to do that.
_________________
Upstairs said:
"From what I have learned here on SR, years of sobriety will never turn me into someone that can drink moderately. I hope that helps."
I have learned that first handed already.
_________________
Maudcat said:
"There are other programs out there. Visit the "secular recovery"*"
I'm sure that is the one I tried before and failed at the first assignment, but thank you.
_________________
Linz805 said:
"There is a reason you stopped drinking for 2 months right? Something must have been bad enough for you to make it this far."
Yes, I stopped *MANY* times in the past, but this time around I just plan on not starting again, but thank you.
_________________
Delilah said:
"Spend some time reading around on here and figure out the supports you need to remain sober."
Thank you.
_________________
doggonecarl said:
"I hope total sobriety remains your goal."
It does.
_________________
tomsteve said:
"but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
Thank you for your reply, *all but the portion that I quoted you above*. I took that advice before and I think it's the stupidest thing about the Big Book to suggest.
_________________
Sparklekitty said:
"If it's a helpful perspective, I consider myself a normal drinker (I usually post in the Friends & Family section), and I never crave alcohol, nor do I spend any time or energy thinking about or trying to suss out my personal relationship with alcohol. If all the alcohol in the world disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow it would not change my life in the slightest."
Thank you.
_________________
ScottFromWI said:
"You don't. There is no test you can take to prove that you are an alcoholic or not. You simply have to accept it. I can tell you from my experience that I thought exactly the same way as you after quitting for a period of time, more than once actually. And every time I did I tried "controlled" drinking. Sometimes it even worked for a few weeks or so, but each and every time I eventually returned to every day binge drinking.*
I think the best thing you can do is sit down and objectively look at how your drinking affected you in the past. And then ask yourself what has changed in 2 months that would allow you to somehow go back to being a "normal" drinker. The vast majority can never go back and sometimes when they do they never get another chance to get sober.*
Think it through...talk it out. Call your sponsor if you have one. It's your life that you are gambling with."
Thank you.
_________________
Treerat66 said:
"Try reading this threadhttp://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oholic-if.html (You know you are a recovering alcoholic if...)*"
Thank you, I'll check it out.
_________________
Soberpotamus said:
"It's not often I meet or see people posting who identify as a once normal drinker, who then drank problematically, and then went back to being a normal drinker. I have met a few online at a moderation site, but I didn't know them personally, and I never witnessed their drinking in person. Who's to say how successful they were? I was there, attempting to moderate, and lying about my drinking. I was a great example of someone who thought she really could reverse things and 'learn' to drink 'appropriately.'
I could only stay sober once I accepted I could never, ever drink again. Never. There are NO exceptions."
I don't plan on drinking and Thank you.
_________________
EndGameNYC said:
"Though the OP may not have intended to be argumentative"
No, I don't nor did, but I do not like people accusing me of such.
_________________
Dee74 said:
"I didn't reply to you directly Lexilynn cos I think others did a great job.*
but I hope, whether you decide to continue with AA or not, that you decide to continue an alcohol-free life"
Thank you, I will.
_________________
Fini said:
"hi Lexilynn,
interested to know what all this new knowledge is that you have now, that you didn't have before but which might mean you can just walk away?"
Please read my replies in this thread.
_________________
To all that replied, Thank you, have a wonderful weekend.
"What's different from two months ago is that you now seem to think you can drink safely, based on the fact that you feel better, and that you've not had a drink in all of two months. Nearly everyone who gets sober has such thoughts at one time or another."
I am not talking about drinking, Nor have that thought on my mind this time.
What I mean is, just moving forward with my life *without* alcohol.
EndGameNYC said:
"I won't tell you not to drink since it seems you've already cast your vote."
Yes, I have, and my vote is *not* to drink.
EndGameNYC said:
"One more thing...AA and the AA Big Book give no advice about how to stop drinking or about how to control our drinking,"
You are right, it doesn't, but it does tell you how to *stay stopped*.
_________________
Fred59 said:
"You could talk to an addiction specialists"
Thank you but I'm unwilling to do that.
_________________
Upstairs said:
"From what I have learned here on SR, years of sobriety will never turn me into someone that can drink moderately. I hope that helps."
I have learned that first handed already.
_________________
Maudcat said:
"There are other programs out there. Visit the "secular recovery"*"
I'm sure that is the one I tried before and failed at the first assignment, but thank you.
_________________
Linz805 said:
"There is a reason you stopped drinking for 2 months right? Something must have been bad enough for you to make it this far."
Yes, I stopped *MANY* times in the past, but this time around I just plan on not starting again, but thank you.
_________________
Delilah said:
"Spend some time reading around on here and figure out the supports you need to remain sober."
Thank you.
_________________
doggonecarl said:
"I hope total sobriety remains your goal."
It does.
_________________
tomsteve said:
"but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
Thank you for your reply, *all but the portion that I quoted you above*. I took that advice before and I think it's the stupidest thing about the Big Book to suggest.
_________________
Sparklekitty said:
"If it's a helpful perspective, I consider myself a normal drinker (I usually post in the Friends & Family section), and I never crave alcohol, nor do I spend any time or energy thinking about or trying to suss out my personal relationship with alcohol. If all the alcohol in the world disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow it would not change my life in the slightest."
Thank you.
_________________
ScottFromWI said:
"You don't. There is no test you can take to prove that you are an alcoholic or not. You simply have to accept it. I can tell you from my experience that I thought exactly the same way as you after quitting for a period of time, more than once actually. And every time I did I tried "controlled" drinking. Sometimes it even worked for a few weeks or so, but each and every time I eventually returned to every day binge drinking.*
I think the best thing you can do is sit down and objectively look at how your drinking affected you in the past. And then ask yourself what has changed in 2 months that would allow you to somehow go back to being a "normal" drinker. The vast majority can never go back and sometimes when they do they never get another chance to get sober.*
Think it through...talk it out. Call your sponsor if you have one. It's your life that you are gambling with."
Thank you.
_________________
Treerat66 said:
"Try reading this threadhttp://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oholic-if.html (You know you are a recovering alcoholic if...)*"
Thank you, I'll check it out.
_________________
Soberpotamus said:
"It's not often I meet or see people posting who identify as a once normal drinker, who then drank problematically, and then went back to being a normal drinker. I have met a few online at a moderation site, but I didn't know them personally, and I never witnessed their drinking in person. Who's to say how successful they were? I was there, attempting to moderate, and lying about my drinking. I was a great example of someone who thought she really could reverse things and 'learn' to drink 'appropriately.'
I could only stay sober once I accepted I could never, ever drink again. Never. There are NO exceptions."
I don't plan on drinking and Thank you.
_________________
EndGameNYC said:
"Though the OP may not have intended to be argumentative"
No, I don't nor did, but I do not like people accusing me of such.
_________________
Dee74 said:
"I didn't reply to you directly Lexilynn cos I think others did a great job.*
but I hope, whether you decide to continue with AA or not, that you decide to continue an alcohol-free life"
Thank you, I will.
_________________
Fini said:
"hi Lexilynn,
interested to know what all this new knowledge is that you have now, that you didn't have before but which might mean you can just walk away?"
Please read my replies in this thread.
_________________
To all that replied, Thank you, have a wonderful weekend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Secular recovery is more than just one thing or program though lexilynn. I'm just curious to know if you have read or heard if avrt? To me that sounds like something you're leaning towards.
The difference between saying "I'm working on my recovery" vs "I live my life as a non-drinker (now)" sort of thing. I think I for one misunderstood the meaning of your first post. But no you definitely don't need AA or to stick around sr to stay sober. There's only one way to find out what works for you.
I hope you find the best route for you lexilynn in sobriety and stay strong and happy, whatever you choose.
The difference between saying "I'm working on my recovery" vs "I live my life as a non-drinker (now)" sort of thing. I think I for one misunderstood the meaning of your first post. But no you definitely don't need AA or to stick around sr to stay sober. There's only one way to find out what works for you.
I hope you find the best route for you lexilynn in sobriety and stay strong and happy, whatever you choose.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: I will reserve that : )
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Delizadee
Secular recovery is more than just one thing or program though lexilynn. I'm just curious to know if you have read or heard if avrt? To me that sounds like something you're leaning towards.
The difference between saying "I'm working on my recovery" vs "I live my life as a non-drinker (now)" sort of thing. I think I for one misunderstood the meaning of your first post. But no you definitely don't need AA or to stick around sr to stay sober. There's only one way to find out what works for you.
I hope you find the best route for you lexilynn in sobriety and stay strong and happy, whatever you choose.
The difference between saying "I'm working on my recovery" vs "I live my life as a non-drinker (now)" sort of thing. I think I for one misunderstood the meaning of your first post. But no you definitely don't need AA or to stick around sr to stay sober. There's only one way to find out what works for you.
I hope you find the best route for you lexilynn in sobriety and stay strong and happy, whatever you choose.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Thing is, for it to work best it needs to be a committed and sustained effort, with all three legs of the stool firmly grounded. Unity(meetings and fellowship). Service (generally as well as 12th step work). Recovery (the 12-step program with a sponsor) . Often there is one bit we're not so keen on engaging with. My own experience, plus the experiences that I've heard others share, suggests to me that more often than not, it's the very bit we least want to do (or as in my own case, were **** scared of doing, which came out as anger and petulant resistance) is the bit that is most necessary for making an impact on sobriety and to get those promises coming true.
It def seems to be part of my own alcoholic thinking that I get what I want and what I need confused on a regular basis. Thankfully I've now realised this trait and do keep a good eye on myself.
Have you thought about what your recovery plan could look like if you did decide to stop going to AA, or were you just going to try to act like a normal person and not do any recovery work? That might seem an easier, softer way to go about things, but please take care of yourself. I can feel right as raise working my program, but a few days or a week not working it properly leaves me in exactly the same state as I was prior to starting it. Anxious, angry, and desperate for 'something' external to make me feel better that I can grab for. I have not relapsed with alcohol on any of these occasions (yet), but my addiction def came out sideways (eating, relationship issues, buying stuff I didn't need, etc. ) - like dipping my toe into a vortex of unmanageability.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
It def seems to be part of my own alcoholic thinking that I get what I want and what I need confused on a regular basis. Thankfully I've now realised this trait and do keep a good eye on myself.
Have you thought about what your recovery plan could look like if you did decide to stop going to AA, or were you just going to try to act like a normal person and not do any recovery work? That might seem an easier, softer way to go about things, but please take care of yourself. I can feel right as raise working my program, but a few days or a week not working it properly leaves me in exactly the same state as I was prior to starting it. Anxious, angry, and desperate for 'something' external to make me feel better that I can grab for. I have not relapsed with alcohol on any of these occasions (yet), but my addiction def came out sideways (eating, relationship issues, buying stuff I didn't need, etc. ) - like dipping my toe into a vortex of unmanageability.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
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