Growing into Recovery
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Delizadee 
Fantastic post MIR.
One I think a lot of newcomers need to hear.
Definitely a process and a journey that is different for all of us.
The basic fundamentals are the same, such as the drink has to stop before we try figuring out what we were trying to fill inside ourselves.
But we all have a different path that brings us here and we find our own path in our own time (hopefully) on the other side. The line in the sand remains the same no matter what. Or door closing.
I've accepted that I can't drink anymore. I drew the line in the sand, then still toed it. When one had me writhing on the floor in pain, I figured my body had had enough and then it was easy for me.
I had to try the one or two a few times before I accepted my body hates alcohol. Now my brain is ok with it too
I don't suffer the fog so much as a tunnel vision. Scraping away the layers of crap I shat on my life makes me want to keep my focus square on staying sober and taking care of myself as best I can for now. Like you said, the rest of the work will come as I continue forward. And I have faith that it will get better.
Thanks for posting this. You are a wise, kindhearted gentleman.
One I think a lot of newcomers need to hear. Definitely a process and a journey that is different for all of us.
The basic fundamentals are the same, such as the drink has to stop before we try figuring out what we were trying to fill inside ourselves.
But we all have a different path that brings us here and we find our own path in our own time (hopefully) on the other side. The line in the sand remains the same no matter what. Or door closing.
I've accepted that I can't drink anymore. I drew the line in the sand, then still toed it. When one had me writhing on the floor in pain, I figured my body had had enough and then it was easy for me.
I had to try the one or two a few times before I accepted my body hates alcohol. Now my brain is ok with it too I don't suffer the fog so much as a tunnel vision. Scraping away the layers of crap I shat on my life makes me want to keep my focus square on staying sober and taking care of myself as best I can for now. Like you said, the rest of the work will come as I continue forward. And I have faith that it will get better.
Thanks for posting this. You are a wise, kindhearted gentleman.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Reality
Posts: 491
I can't keep sober or pass by 7 days and drinking now I'm I know I'm a sinking ship. It's very sad I'm pass the fun drinking is not fun for me for manny years now I'm just managing pain. I was talking with a friend today and she said she was concern for me and I said that always knew I was going to die young. I'm so sad I lost my life this way I am so out of control now I can't even stop. Everybody out there sober just keep going you are not missing anything.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
When I talk about the fog I think more than anything else I am referring to realizing the role that alcohol had played in my life. It had tainted virtually aspect of my existence. The longer I was sober the drunker I realized I was
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by Soberandhealthy
I can't keep sober or pass by 7 days and drinking now I'm I know I'm a sinking ship. It's very sad I'm pass the fun drinking is not fun for me for manny years now I'm just managing pain. I was talking with a friend today and she said she was concern for me and I said that always knew I was going to die young. I'm so sad I lost my life this way I am so out of control now I can't even stop. Everybody out there sober just keep going you are not missing anything.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 21
I'm on day 12 and "leaving the door open" described here is definitely something I'm experiencing. Knowing detox and recovery are two totally different things is really helping me just get through each day until sobriety becomes my present situation. When I see posts about newbies (like myself) wanting to make it to 30 days and there's so many comments replying with "Why just 30 days? You have to quit for good for ever and ever or you are going to die!!!" It just makes me cringe because I know how discouraging and daunting that can feel for someone who may not trust their willingness or ability to change yet.
If you want to build a house you have to learn how and then work on it a little bit each day until it's finished and strong and then you have to maintain it. These first 30 days for me are just laying the foundation and designing its blueprints and gathering a LOT of help and tools from others. It's still hypothetical at this point but maybe I'll want to keep going once I see that it can be done and see that house taking shape. If you told me I had to start building from day 1 I wouldn't be ready or know how and whatever I made would just collapse.
Anyway, posts like yours helps me commit to the small positive changes that might add up to something bigger. I can't be the end result immediately but I can make it a challenge instead of an impossibility with the right plan and support.
If you want to build a house you have to learn how and then work on it a little bit each day until it's finished and strong and then you have to maintain it. These first 30 days for me are just laying the foundation and designing its blueprints and gathering a LOT of help and tools from others. It's still hypothetical at this point but maybe I'll want to keep going once I see that it can be done and see that house taking shape. If you told me I had to start building from day 1 I wouldn't be ready or know how and whatever I made would just collapse.
Anyway, posts like yours helps me commit to the small positive changes that might add up to something bigger. I can't be the end result immediately but I can make it a challenge instead of an impossibility with the right plan and support.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
MIR, thank you once again for your ongoing wisdom.
After too many false starts that went down the tubes,
I've finally changed my mindset from "I can't , don't or won't drink",
to simply embracing recovery.
Recovery is composed of many positive facets, including understanding my purpose
in life, as guided by my higher power, quality nutrition, quality rest, and dozens more.
I am making much more progress by focusing
on how fantastic recovery and all it's benefits are,
rather than wasting my time over-analyzing sobriety.
I can't explain it, but it erased the "anxiety of sobriety" for me.
Hey, whatever works.
After too many false starts that went down the tubes,
I've finally changed my mindset from "I can't , don't or won't drink",
to simply embracing recovery.
Recovery is composed of many positive facets, including understanding my purpose
in life, as guided by my higher power, quality nutrition, quality rest, and dozens more.
I am making much more progress by focusing
on how fantastic recovery and all it's benefits are,
rather than wasting my time over-analyzing sobriety.
I can't explain it, but it erased the "anxiety of sobriety" for me.
Hey, whatever works.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Soberandhealthy
I can't keep sober or pass by 7 days and drinking now I'm I know I'm a sinking ship. It's very sad I'm pass the fun drinking is not fun for me for manny years now I'm just managing pain. I was talking with a friend today and she said she was concern for me and I said that always knew I was going to die young. I'm so sad I lost my life this way I am so out of control now I can't even stop. Everybody out there sober just keep going you are not missing anything.
If you want to get sober make real change in your life because if nothing changes nothing changes. You say you cant quit drinking but have you made a plan, seen a doctor, gone to rehab, gone to IOP, gone to AA, got a sponsor, worked the steps? Do you have a dry house, have you dumped your drinking friends, read recovery literature, and stay out of places drink places?
When we are willing to do what is necessary we have a very good shot at getting sober but if not then we just stay drunk. There are tons of resources but if we don't use them they do us no good
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Jennes
I'm on day 12 and "leaving the door open" described here is definitely something I'm experiencing. Knowing detox and recovery are two totally different things is really helping me just get through each day until sobriety becomes my present situation. When I see posts about newbies (like myself) wanting to make it to 30 days and there's so many comments replying with "Why just 30 days? You have to quit for good for ever and ever or you are going to die!!!" It just makes me cringe because I know how discouraging and daunting that can feel for someone who may not trust their willingness or ability to change yet.
If you want to build a house you have to learn how and then work on it a little bit each day until it's finished and strong and then you have to maintain it. These first 30 days for me are just laying the foundation and designing its blueprints and gathering a LOT of help and tools from others. It's still hypothetical at this point but maybe I'll want to keep going once I see that it can be done and see that house taking shape. If you told me I had to start building from day 1 I wouldn't be ready or know how and whatever I made would just collapse.
Anyway, posts like yours helps me commit to the small positive changes that might add up to something bigger. I can't be the end result immediately but I can make it a challenge instead of an impossibility with the right plan and support.
If you want to build a house you have to learn how and then work on it a little bit each day until it's finished and strong and then you have to maintain it. These first 30 days for me are just laying the foundation and designing its blueprints and gathering a LOT of help and tools from others. It's still hypothetical at this point but maybe I'll want to keep going once I see that it can be done and see that house taking shape. If you told me I had to start building from day 1 I wouldn't be ready or know how and whatever I made would just collapse.
Anyway, posts like yours helps me commit to the small positive changes that might add up to something bigger. I can't be the end result immediately but I can make it a challenge instead of an impossibility with the right plan and support.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Time2Rise
Nice post with a lot of wisdom and experience MIR.
Personally, I firmly believe that many people can reach Step 4 in a period of months ( if not weeks) if they can intellectually and emotionally understand they are not giving-up something that offers any authentic pleasure, benefits or relief.
From my experience, sobriety is incredibly difficult and exhausting if one constantly feels deprived or feels they are somehow missing out or parting ways with something beneficial and pleasurable. And judging from many posts on this site, this feeling of being deprived is very common among the newly sober (and sometimes among members with many months or even a few years of sobriety).
Instead of fighting frequent feelings of deprivation; instead of feeling as if you've lost a dear friend, wouldn’t it be so much better to simply not have those feelings and cravings; to realize to your core that you’re not removing something beneficial and important in your life; to completely comprehend you’re not missing out on anything at all?
For anyone who wants help with potentially achieving that state-of-mind and attitude, I highly recommend Allen Carr's book Stop Drinking Now. I can't say for sure that it will help everyone, but it has helped me to significantly change my perspective about alcohol and drinking culture, and that change in perspective has made my most recent attempt at sobriety very comfortable and fulfilling.
Personally, I firmly believe that many people can reach Step 4 in a period of months ( if not weeks) if they can intellectually and emotionally understand they are not giving-up something that offers any authentic pleasure, benefits or relief.
From my experience, sobriety is incredibly difficult and exhausting if one constantly feels deprived or feels they are somehow missing out or parting ways with something beneficial and pleasurable. And judging from many posts on this site, this feeling of being deprived is very common among the newly sober (and sometimes among members with many months or even a few years of sobriety).
Instead of fighting frequent feelings of deprivation; instead of feeling as if you've lost a dear friend, wouldn’t it be so much better to simply not have those feelings and cravings; to realize to your core that you’re not removing something beneficial and important in your life; to completely comprehend you’re not missing out on anything at all?
For anyone who wants help with potentially achieving that state-of-mind and attitude, I highly recommend Allen Carr's book Stop Drinking Now. I can't say for sure that it will help everyone, but it has helped me to significantly change my perspective about alcohol and drinking culture, and that change in perspective has made my most recent attempt at sobriety very comfortable and fulfilling.
"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone- even alcohol. For by this time, sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as a hot flame. We react sanely and normally and we will find that this has happened automatically. ...
We will see that our new attitude towards liquor has been given to us without any thought or effort on our part - It just comes! That is the miracle of it - we are not fighting it nor are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we have been placed in a place of neutrality, safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor afraid. That is our experience. This is how we react as long as we keep in fit spiritual condition." (84-85
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