Endeavor

I never thought of it as a problem until recently Soberwolf. I had a pretty good balance for many years, though admittedly I did drink a lot when I did. It was always spaced out and never really had lasting negative effects.

More recently, my life has changed and have been home much more often most nights than I used to be. Not being out very much and staying at home slowly turned up the frequency and the physical addiction, as it were. Maybe it's just easier to do and more accessible now and that's when I started to feel the need. My life changed, but I didn't adjust my habit to compensate.

I understand that the idea of alcohol in any form within ones life, especially here on SR, warrants caution. However, I am not a person who believes in all or nothing. I did kick smoking after over a decade, for over a decade now and fully recognize the power of physical and mental addiction over myself. I've come to the point where I can enjoy cigars now and then and without getting hooked on nicotine again. My plight at this moment is getting off this crap and finding a way to work it into my life so I can enjoy it, but not abuse it; as I did for many years.

I'm not really sure what to expect just yet, but I've found this forum to be a means to vent, share and offer advice where I can. All I can do is work at it and knowing myself, talking about it reinforces me taking serious action.

It really is tough sometimes, especially early on, but I guess I put myself there didn't I.

EndGameNYC

Uh-oh.

Besides short-lived (and, eventually, non-existent) moments of relaxation, what else does drinking do for you?

You might want to try just stopping completely for a time. I ended up losing everything. Living without alcohol is the best decision I ever made, and I see no reason to ever drink again.

Endeavor

Half or more people in the world drink on occasion, live quasi-normal lives and do not loose everything. I hear you sir, but there is no way I will be able to convince the redeemed, nor require any such acknowledgment. If abstinence is the way you found to live healthy, I'd never refute it. No-one in their right mind would.

My specific issues are not reliant on the acceptance of others and perhaps I am in the wrong place for feedback while working on a method of help which suits me best.

The very notion may be a conflict to the point of SR in essence. I had not considered that before and apologize for any offense in my ignorance.

desertsong

Endeavor, I guess the obvious question is whether your drinking is/has caused problems in your life. I mean, it's the dream of every "problem" drinker to be able to drink "moderately." I wish I could. But I know that I can't. You can talk all day long about the people who can drink "just enough" and then be satisfied, but is that you? It wasn't me and never will be.

Just food for thought.

EndGameNYC

You're angry.

My comments are about what I did to myself and that I was able to find a better way. I don't want to see anyone fail.

Bobbieka

I'm kind of curious though. If you don't have a problem, why are you on a forum for problems drinkers? Which SR mainly is.

AnvilheadII

i wonder if the interchange would be as "lively" if someone suggested you quit eating broccoli............?

note how vehement your own reaction to the very notion is......and then ask Why Is That?

Endeavor

Not to others, other than myself. Moderately, I don't know what that is. I know I'll never be a person who has a 2 drinks and is done. I see no point to starting to begin with. Ironic, as that would be all or nothing, as I stated earlier. Not looking for clearance here, just trying to better understand my own motives.

Endeavor

I know that I have a problem I'm trying to control. At the same time, I do not fully understand the depth of what it means. I'm on this forum because based on what I have read from many outside of this thread. There is room for people who suffer from all levels of abuse.

Endeavor

I'm sure a conversation about quitting broccoli would be just as lively if it were as vehemently tied to our emotions and livelihood.

AnvilheadII

not talking farmers here........just you and YOUR broccoli habits.

how is alcohol tied to your livelihood? do you get paid per drink?

Endeavor

Really though, how is alcohol not tied to our livelihood?

AnvilheadII

SERIOUSLY??? it has NOTHING to do with MY job that is for sure. nor anyone i work with. nor my husband's job. nor my daughter's.
you kind of have an attitude, are you just here to be difficult, cuz you seem to have all the answers..........

Endeavor

I'm sorry bud, reading the words made me feel like I was bitching about a scraped knee while standing in the middle of a terrible accident.

I apologize,

Endeavor

I think we have a different view of what livelihood means. I wasn't talking about jobs, you or anyone else's. Yes, I have a pretty strong attitude, but not one that means you any insult in any way.

Soberwolf

Endeavour let me put it another way brother

Do you think someone who doesn't have a drinking problem thinks the same way you are now about alcohol - trust me they don't

Why is alcohol so important to you that despite being destructive and causing you problems you want to keep it in your life ?

alcoholism is kinda like gollum & the ring of power - I'm not calling you gollum btw

You know the only people who care more about alcohol than anyone else in the world ?

Alcoholics

This is food for thought I learnt my lesson at 31 I'm 34 now and the best thing I done was stopped drinking & stayed sober - I didn't even think I could I was scared i was unsure etc

drinking does nothing for both of us why are you insistent on keeping it in your life

Brother so you know I'm not looking for answers if you do choose to try & stay sober we'l be here to help & know you can do this

Dee74

It took me twenty years to realise this problem could not, and would not be controlled.

It took me a decade to admit that this wasn't just a bad habit, or a bad patch and that that line we speak of was miles behind me.
I wanted desperately to be one of those people.

People who left glasses of booze half full, people who wanted, not needed a drink.

People who didn't fly into a panic or who reacted violently at the thought of not drinking again.

People who drank to get wasted.

I was not one of those people.

Alcoholism is progressive. Things will get worse Endeavour.
In fact the problem got worse...

The only way forward for me was to step away from the bottle.

D

desertsong

I guess you answered your own question. You won't be done with a couple of drinks. I get it. So that just means that you are more than a casual drinker, yes?

Endeavor

You both make a lot of sense and I appreciate the replies. This is a very touchy subject, yes..me included. Just because it's touchy, does not identify it as THE problem, nor does it negate the importance and strain. The plain fact is.... If I didn't feel like there was a problem, I would not be here typing away.

There is no right or wrong way. It just comes down to what am I going to do about it.

Thank you.

Dharma33

Once I got honest about my drinking, I realized how true this recovery saying is for me-One is too many, and a Thousand isn't enough. And that's the truth for the lot of us. Even if I did/could stop after one, my brain wouldn't stop obsessing about more; that is an insane way to live.