Hercules

Iam in absolute pieces tonight Iam at my sisters house as I have been kicked out of my place because my partner caught me in a hotel room this morning with a condom in the room and an escorts number in my phone she traced me down through my find iPhone app i did not have sex tho.

I feel so guilty and ashamed and Iam in severe shock as it all seems like a dream, I had no intention of going to a hotel but we had a drunk argument and i walked out, we both have a drink problem.

I feel so scared and worried for my daughter and dogs that i have ruined there life completely I have tried many times to stop drinking but my partner always encourages us to drink together or brings wine in.

Iam currently homeless and will need to rent a place ASAP, I keep thinking that Iam going to wake up and it will be a dream!

I know it's a disgusting post and Iam scum but feel so low it's scary. Iam sober now and plan never to drink again.

Jsbodhi

Xoxo.
My only advice is to quit drinking, you gotta make a plan though!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Best wishes and keep your head up.

Ananda

You are not scum.

ChloeRose63

Sober up so you can get a grip on things. Then see what is going on. You have to get your mind on task in order to make a plan. Maybe check into a detox for a few days.You will get help and a place to stay where you will be safe.

OldTomato

I'm glad you have a place to stay tonight. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but use this experience to get sober!

shirlygirly

You never, ever have to feel this way again! This is an opportunity for you to start a sober life one day at a time.

Soberwolf

Hopefully your sister can put you up for a couple of nights if that's an option & take it from there

It's done it's happened no point dwelling it does zilch what will help is getting a recovery plan like js posted & sticking to sobriety no matter what

You can also start going recovery meetings & sticking to a programme there is choice between secular & non secular

You always have us

Stiltskin

It's always darkest before the dawn....maybe rehab is a good idea to show that you're serious about it to yourself and to others?

Get sober and good luck.

savarna

why was there a condom ......

KiKi0615

Stay strong. I'm sorry about your struggles.

Hevyn

Hercules, please don't call yourself scum. The post is not disgusting. We're here to hold each other up. I've done many out-of-character things I can't even believe. Give yourself a break and focus on staying sober and healing. You'll feel better when you get some sober time behind you. Keep posting and let us know how you are.

Ariesagain

And an escort's number in your phone? Not the first time maybe?

Look, I'm not trying to pick on you...obviously you don't answer to anyone here and most here can relate to doing rotten things while drunk...certainly I can.

But being ruthlessly honest with yourself about what you were actually doing or trying to do while wasted is important. It's too easy to minimize the reality of the damage we do under the influence after we've sobered up and start craving another drink.

Wishing you well in getting sober...

Hercules

An escort did turn up but we did not have sex.
I know what I did was shameful and disgusting I will never forgive myself. As for the pain i have inflicted on my family I'll never forget it!

JustQuit2016

Escort aside, what did or didn't happen is besides the point. You both need help for your alcohol problems, all you can do for now is work on yourself and show your partner that you want to change. I can't lie, it's going to be a very very tough time for you over the next while with everything going on, but stay close and fight this.

Trees39

I hope you start to feel better soon.

Renew12

It may not seem like it, but there are worse things that can happen under the influence of booze & drugs.

You aren't a scum! You can learn to forgive yourself too!.. Not forgetting can be a powerful reminder to commit to complete abstinence.

Please learn new ways to overcome harming yourself & others. There are many ways to accomplish sobriety & recovery. Try keeping it simple in the beginning. Possible reconciliation with your partner, will likely require they abstain & seek new recovery skills as well.

Every person on the planet has made mistakes. Done things they were ashamed of!

You aren't alone! Keep coming back here, read, post. You are wanted & welcomed here!

Delilah1

Im sure the next few days/weeks are going to be difficult. Staying sober will help you deal with things with a clear head. I'm glad your sister lives close and you were able to go there.

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that Hercules.

I really hope you can make this your turning point.
D

loulou1981

U made a mistake, it doesn't make u scum. Would ur partner ever considered getting sober with u??? We've all made wrong/bad/stupid decisions when drunk, ur not alone. It's all raw at the moment & hopefully ur child will b unaware of what happened.

If u want to make it work with ur partner then ur going to have t9 fight for it. But u BOTH need to stop drinking. Surely this episode will highlight the fact that drinking causes lots of pain!!!!

Hercules

Thanks for the replies, if Iam honest this episode is a long line of disasters that have happened due to drink, only last month my partner was drunk and hit me over the head with a metal candle stick and i ended up with a scar on my ear.
I have also disappeared in the middle of the night to go to strip clubs and continue to drink.

We both have discussed stoping drinkng together but it only lasts a matter of days before one of us caves in and encourages the other. Looking back on it all the truth is we where both having an affair with alcohol it was always calling the shots!

The only positive is that Iam 100% committed to staying sober from this point on!