lein

In England even though we pay through the teeth in NI (national insurance, meant for the welfare state) on top of the extortionate taxes, there is still at least a 12 month wait for rehab.
You make it sound so easy to get rehab.
Most people, it's not accessable to.
Good luck when you leave

Meraviglioso

Could be, but there were many more than 14 paintings and I am almost certain that in her broken Italian she said "ortodossi" which means orthodox. The only "orthodox" I could think of was Greek but apparently there are many more courses that are "orthodox" not just Greek. The women who came in did not look Italian (nor Greek by the way) and most of them arrived with no headscarf, only putting one on in the vestibule before entering the worship area. In any case it only serves to show how little I know about religions and languages, though in my defence, I think deciphering one arabic language from another for a non speaker would be difficult!

Lein, I can imagine that is so incredibly frustrating for anyone wanting to get in. First, the damage one could do in another year of drinking is incredible, secondly once someone has made the decision to go I think the sooner the better otherwise they loose their nerve. It is not an easy decision to make.
When I called I was told that all services are covered and free under the national healthcare system. Fantastic I thought! But, one catch, the wait for the room (shared room with shared bathroom in the hall) that came with these free services was 45 weeks (nearly a year). There were other options though, including a private room with a shared bathroom in the hall which cost €35 per day and the wait was only 10 weeks, or finally a private room with a private ensuite bathroom which cost €130 a day, the wait for which was about 3-7 days. I chose this option because I didn't want to wait and also because privacy was important to me. My total stay will end up costing just over €3600. Which is nothing to shake a stick at, I understand. I am fortunate that between what little I could scrape together to contribute, the rest will be divided between my mother, my father and my children's father in order to help me. I realise that not everyone has that help available to them though and I feel so, so sad for those out there suffering for whom there is no quick help available.
I know in the US the Salvation Army takes in people free of charge, I am not sure if there is something similar in the UK?
I do know that I am paying for my private room, inside which there are certain tiny luxuries such as my own shower that no one else uses, control over the tv remote (I haven't turned it on once, I loathe the television) and the ability to leave the door open like I live in a barn when going to pee. But outside my room I am treated no differently than any of the other patients, the care is outstanding for all of us, including those who are here and not paying anything out of pocket.

Meraviglioso

I apologise, your point that people want to get in but can't (without having to wait a long time) was perfectly clear and I thought I responded in a way that indicated that understanding.
I was trying to say that it is the same here. A lot of people want to come to rehab, but are told the wait is nearly a year. They don't have the financial means to pay for a "room upgrade" to get in the door quicker so they are stuck to suffer until their name comes to the top of the list- at which point they have probably lost their desire to come out of frustration.
I feel deeply fortunate that a group of people who care were able to come together and help me pay for the room that got me in here with the least amount of wait.
The FREE care is not easy to get, sadly, as is common I think all over the world, money talks. It is not fair, I realise this. Do I feel guilty for paying and getting in sooner? Maybe, a little bit if I think about it a lot. I do feel bad for others who do not have the same circle of support or financial means to make something like this happen. But it had become a life or death situation for me and the fact that I chose to reach out for that help though any means necessary (in this case, paying for the "special room") doesn't keep me awake at night, no.

entropy1964

I can only speak for the US but most rehab facilities will negotiate payment terms based on income and ability to pay. Maybe worth asking.

yinzer

People spend money on all kinds of things. I think rehab or your health is the most important thing for sure! I think you are paying it forward by helping others here, Mera. I'm glad you are learning many coping skills and that you had a good walk yesterday.

Delilah1

Hi Mera,

I hope you are feeling less tired now that you are taken the Antabuse for a few days. I just want to say again hoe proud I am of you, and the transformation you have made since entering rehab. Your posts continue to be inspirational, and I truly believe helped many who are struggling.

I was worried when I first started catching up with you today because it sounded like you had lost some of your spark die to the Antabuse, but it seems to be back. Did the doctors change the dosage, or did you adjust?

It is Saturday morning here, which means it is probably afternoon or evening there, and you are getting really close to going home!! I'm so glad your mom will be with you to help you adjust and to help out with the boys a little bit. I know you had a pretty emotional conversation with your ex, I hope it was the good kind that helps you both to move forward and co-parent well together. He seems to have been pretty supportive throughout everything, and that is good since you will always be involved in each others lives because of the kids.

Your sense of gratitude for this opportunity is so incredibly clear to anyone who has followed your post. I'm not sure how many people who attend rehab take the time to write a personalized thank you card to each person who has helped them while they were there. It speaks to who you are.

I hope the next few days are filled with getting you ready to go back home to your family. I look forward to reading about them, and also your return home.

Sending lots of love!

❤️ Delilah

Meraviglioso

Thank you Delilah for those meaningful words. The antabuse is still making me drowsy but I am coping. My biggest regret is that I did not go to the meeting yesterday because of it. I did go to bed very early last night and the nurses had to wake me at 9:30 pm to give me meds, I was also able to sleep longer this morning. I took a nap this afternoon as well. The spark is still there, but so is the drowsiness. It is frustrating because this time I can feel the real, true desire to do anything it takes to stay sober. I think there was a small part of me in the past that wondered if I was exaggerating or self-manifistating the symptoms as a way of avoiding the medication. But it seems as if my reaction is genuine. They are unable to make any non-emergency changes to meds over the weekend, I'll need to wait until Monday, but I'd like to ask for them to try half the dosage for my last few days to see if that helps. Worse comes to worse I'll have to give it up altogether and rely on other tools to keep me on the sober path.

2ndhandrose

Mera, I have been following your posts and I am inspired by your willingness to do whatever it takes and your honesty.

ScottFromWI

Several posts and quoted content have been removed. Personal attacks and personal arguments are not allowed in the public forums.

Vona71

You are a strong, compassionate and inspirational person, Mera. I am so thankful to you for this thread.

Meraviglioso

Thank you yinzer, that means a lot to me.

This song has been a standby during my long, hard battle with recovery. I can say that no, you, whoever you are that needs to hear that, you will not always feel this way. There is a way out, actually a number of ways.I chose rehab.

Today I was particularly reminded of the lyrics, found towards the end:

"Well, I looked my demons in the eyes
Laid bare my chest, said "Do your best, destroy me
You see, I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kind of bore me"

Lovely song, give it a listen.

Anna

I have removed another couple of posts because I want to get this thread away from discussing insults, etc.

Meraviglioso

Let's change the subject, shall we?
One thing I have been particularly appreciative here is the great food. Now, I doubt this happens everywhere, I am sure some places are more hospital like, but this being Italy they take food seriously, even for those of us mucking it out through rehab!
There is always a first course, a second course a side dish, and fruit for dessert. There is plenty of bread- both white and whole grain on the table, good olive oil, and of course plenty of water. I have had the chance to eat some "trigger" food while here. Foods that during previous attempts at sobriety I would try to avoid as they seemed to go so hand and hand with white or red wine for me. For example, yesterday evening we had spaghetti ai frutti di mare. Spaghetti with clams, mussels, octopus and squid. This is something I traditionally had out at a fish restaurant and always with white wine. Yesterday I found it tasted just fine- even better I would say- with just water as my beverage. For lunch today we had a trio of cheeses with jams and prosciutto crudo, I had avoided cheeses in the past because I always felt like I simply couldn't eat cheese without that glass of red. Nope, totally possible! Tonight we had roast beef, a dish I always cooked with red wine and then ate with red wine. I am certain they did not use any wine to prepare the dish and it still tasted great. It sounds like a silly thing, but learning how to get through meals, particularly certain foods, without alcohol as the main beverage has been very helpful for me. I am using that time as a learning experience instead of just as meal time to feed myself.

yinzer

I always did love the food in Italy. Funny how the same ingredients can taste so much better out there. One of the best meals I ever had was on a train in Italy!

Saskia

Mera, I am so happy you have had this time and help to get your recovery off to a great start! And I admire your courage in doing what you need to do :-). And thank you for sharing your journey with us. It can only help others trying to make decisions about what to do.

Jsbodhi

Love reading your thread xo

daisy1

I adore good olive oil, I could drink it. I bet it's incredible in actual Italy though!

Hawkeye13

Food sounds amazing!
I also have found that food I usually only cooked / ate with wine does
taste great without

whuda thunk?

You sound very good Mera--so glad this is working for you

Delilah1

My husband and I watched a special recently about the mob manufacturing fake olive oil. They took samples of Extra Virgin Olive Oil from several stores and tested the ingredients.

I love olive oil as well, and it made me wonder if I have ever had the "real thing!!"

Bekindalways

Hi Mera, I am still enjoying your reports.

I hope that along with the good food there is some good conversation at the table. You mentioned earlier that the others there come from a wide range of backgrounds. (Addiction cuts across any social/economic/educational difference). This makes me think it must be an interesting combo of people.