The concept of a "plan"
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
The concept of a "plan"
Hello.
The question I see here asked a lot is "Do you have a plan?"
I drank after 8 days without a drink. The longest I had ever gone. I am currently on Day 3 after struggling to get my momentum back. Today is the first day my head is cleared up enough to really think about things.
When I think of a plan I think of the links Dee provided. One in particular suggests creating a 3 ring binder and creating a Wellness Toolbox, things you can do to keep yourself on track (that's how I interpreted it.) and it talks about things to do if you find myself going off track.
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
I know I must be missing something here, and maybe other newcomers could gain something if this were explained.
I don't want a debate, I am not bashing Dee or the plan advice. I want to understand it.
Thank you!
The question I see here asked a lot is "Do you have a plan?"
I drank after 8 days without a drink. The longest I had ever gone. I am currently on Day 3 after struggling to get my momentum back. Today is the first day my head is cleared up enough to really think about things.
When I think of a plan I think of the links Dee provided. One in particular suggests creating a 3 ring binder and creating a Wellness Toolbox, things you can do to keep yourself on track (that's how I interpreted it.) and it talks about things to do if you find myself going off track.
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
I know I must be missing something here, and maybe other newcomers could gain something if this were explained.
I don't want a debate, I am not bashing Dee or the plan advice. I want to understand it.
Thank you!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Having a plan includes tools to counter cravings & urges I've seen D's link he's got a excellent cravings link which I've also inc
Reaching out via SR or phoning a trusted friend is the advice I give out most
Here are 2 links that have saved many a sobriety remember there are lots of tools you can use Inc playing the tape that always helps
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Here are some useful links to some great threads to help you
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Reaching out via SR or phoning a trusted friend is the advice I give out most
Here are 2 links that have saved many a sobriety remember there are lots of tools you can use Inc playing the tape that always helps
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Here are some useful links to some great threads to help you
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
For me, I needed to develop mindfulness, so important for me. I know that word has a bunch of different meanings, but to me it means the ability to monitor my feelings, to actually think about what I am thinking at the moment, if that makes any sense. Learning to do this gave me some space around my emotions so that I could choose how to react to them.
So, that binder would get used when you became aware of a feeling of nervousness around alcohol, about alcohol. If you blindly just move forward with getting your drink on without being aware of what the heck you are doing, you are going to have a rough time. You are going to end up recovering from yet another blackout doing damage control. The next phase is disgust and disappointment, depression, and nothing calls for hair of the dog like that.
The answer is awareness of your thoughts as you are thinking them. The mindfulness, or self awareness, comes into play, when you feel like you are going to make the drinking happen, and you generate that split second of awareness, and then choose to go and do something helpful instead of drinkful.
And looking at that binder would definitely be helpful.
So, that binder would get used when you became aware of a feeling of nervousness around alcohol, about alcohol. If you blindly just move forward with getting your drink on without being aware of what the heck you are doing, you are going to have a rough time. You are going to end up recovering from yet another blackout doing damage control. The next phase is disgust and disappointment, depression, and nothing calls for hair of the dog like that.
The answer is awareness of your thoughts as you are thinking them. The mindfulness, or self awareness, comes into play, when you feel like you are going to make the drinking happen, and you generate that split second of awareness, and then choose to go and do something helpful instead of drinkful.
And looking at that binder would definitely be helpful.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Grendhar 
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
I believe the link you were referring to from Dee was this one for the others who asked
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Aberdeen SD
Posts: 180
The only plan that works is waking up each day and making the commitment you will not drink that day. Think of the benefits of not drinking 1) Health 2) Money 3) Positive Relationships with family and friends. Tell yourself - Its all over when you take that first drink. Its just not worth it.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
I think that a "plan" is more of a definitive
action to totally quit.
I've written notes, stories, etc, "played the tape to the end",
been to meetings, sponsors, studied avrt, name it.
Too many times, I've fallen.
The wise people here, basically say that you
need to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
They speak the truth.
action to totally quit.
I've written notes, stories, etc, "played the tape to the end",
been to meetings, sponsors, studied avrt, name it.
Too many times, I've fallen.
The wise people here, basically say that you
need to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
They speak the truth.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
I'll echo the sentiment that you have to make the commitment to stay clean every day no matter how you feel.
Another thing that became important to me was the realization that I had no idea how to stay clean, and I had no ability to formulate a plan for myself that would work. I can only give my own experience that I went to NA (we take folk that just used alcohol too, although that sure wasn't me), and that I took direction from some guys who had been clean a long time and knew how to do that.
12 step program or no, I think it's vital to have some people you can talk to who have been where you are and have found a way out and have maintained sobriety for an extended period of time. It's a bit cheesy, but one of my favorite definitions of "meetings" are the places where you meet the people who will save your butt when you're all jammed up in your head. - Of course you have to call them before you use.
Another thing that became important to me was the realization that I had no idea how to stay clean, and I had no ability to formulate a plan for myself that would work. I can only give my own experience that I went to NA (we take folk that just used alcohol too, although that sure wasn't me), and that I took direction from some guys who had been clean a long time and knew how to do that.
12 step program or no, I think it's vital to have some people you can talk to who have been where you are and have found a way out and have maintained sobriety for an extended period of time. It's a bit cheesy, but one of my favorite definitions of "meetings" are the places where you meet the people who will save your butt when you're all jammed up in your head. - Of course you have to call them before you use.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by Grendhar
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well I suppose you need to be willing to resist that immediate urge to pick up for long enough to try the other strategies that you have in your plan.
I don't know about you, but my plan for 'dealing' with pretty much anything (happiness; excitement; fear; anxiety; family celebrations; funerals; arguments; reunions; my team winning; my team winning; toothache; a cold; being fat; losing weight; a break up; a new relationship... you know the kind of thing no doubt) was always quick-relief strategies (alcohol and other). Once those things were removed, I needed to make sure that something else was put in their place to make me less likely to resort to the old strategies.
The things that I put in place of drinking I need to practice daily, or I start to feel out of sorts. That's what, I suppose, people mean when they say working their program, or carrying out their plan. The start is really hard because all of it is a really conscious effort, and the cravings are at their worst. I felt really lucky to have AA and this place to support me to get me through it after a horrendous first month of white-knuckling it with no strategic plan other than 'don't drink'.
One thing's for sure - you're more likely to look at your plan if you actually have one. Not sure it needs a ring binder to start off with - maybe just start with a sheet of A4 that can be folded and kept in your pocket / wallet for quick reference.
I don't know about you, but my plan for 'dealing' with pretty much anything (happiness; excitement; fear; anxiety; family celebrations; funerals; arguments; reunions; my team winning; my team winning; toothache; a cold; being fat; losing weight; a break up; a new relationship... you know the kind of thing no doubt) was always quick-relief strategies (alcohol and other). Once those things were removed, I needed to make sure that something else was put in their place to make me less likely to resort to the old strategies.
The things that I put in place of drinking I need to practice daily, or I start to feel out of sorts. That's what, I suppose, people mean when they say working their program, or carrying out their plan. The start is really hard because all of it is a really conscious effort, and the cravings are at their worst. I felt really lucky to have AA and this place to support me to get me through it after a horrendous first month of white-knuckling it with no strategic plan other than 'don't drink'.
One thing's for sure - you're more likely to look at your plan if you actually have one. Not sure it needs a ring binder to start off with - maybe just start with a sheet of A4 that can be folded and kept in your pocket / wallet for quick reference.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
On top of educating myself to no end about the dangers of alcohol and abuse of it, my plan is pretty simple.
I daily check in, read, and if possible post here at SR.
I do not go out to any place where alcohol is served. N'or do I allow anyone to drink at my house.
I try to at least take a break each day to reflect, relax, or be thankful for living a sober life.
I find the rest falls into place nicely, and no i dont carry around a three ring binder.
I daily check in, read, and if possible post here at SR.
I do not go out to any place where alcohol is served. N'or do I allow anyone to drink at my house.
I try to at least take a break each day to reflect, relax, or be thankful for living a sober life.
I find the rest falls into place nicely, and no i dont carry around a three ring binder.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
On the first page of my own binder, I wrote myself a synopsis of where I was at the end. I make myself read it every day. It is just a few sentences, and takes only a moment.
If reading that paragraph first thing in the morning does NOT make me feel grateful, or no longer sounds important enough to help me make my daily commitment, then I know I am in some degree of trouble.
And I MAKE myself read through my action plan and DO something...place a call, tell my partner I am not strong, read for half an hour through the broken bloody first days of others on SR, then take a walk...I make myself DO something. So far, so good.
Edit: Oh, and I have a short list of things I make sure I do, from my "stay well" page...What those are will vary by person, I suppose...but they are the handful of things I found most healing and most stabilizing for myself. And I do them every day, feel good, feel bad, feel strong/weak, powerful of scared. Every day.
If reading that paragraph first thing in the morning does NOT make me feel grateful, or no longer sounds important enough to help me make my daily commitment, then I know I am in some degree of trouble.
And I MAKE myself read through my action plan and DO something...place a call, tell my partner I am not strong, read for half an hour through the broken bloody first days of others on SR, then take a walk...I make myself DO something. So far, so good.
Edit: Oh, and I have a short list of things I make sure I do, from my "stay well" page...What those are will vary by person, I suppose...but they are the handful of things I found most healing and most stabilizing for myself. And I do them every day, feel good, feel bad, feel strong/weak, powerful of scared. Every day.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by JoeCree
On top of educating myself to no end about the dangers of alcohol and abuse of it, my plan is pretty simple.
I daily check in, read, and if possible post here at SR.
I do not go out to any place where alcohol is served. N'or do I allow anyone to drink at my house.
I try to at least take a break each day to reflect, relax, or be thankful for living a sober life.
I find the rest falls into place nicely, and no i dont carry around a three ring binder.
I daily check in, read, and if possible post here at SR.
I do not go out to any place where alcohol is served. N'or do I allow anyone to drink at my house.
I try to at least take a break each day to reflect, relax, or be thankful for living a sober life.
I find the rest falls into place nicely, and no i dont carry around a three ring binder.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
Grendhar, I had that same question for a long time. When I'd first tried to quit, I went to AA and they said call someone if you want a drink. Well, when I'd decided I wanted a drink, I didn't want to be talked out of it. This went on for a very long time and I made it a month or more several times.
I did finally "get it" and I think Scott and others gave you the answer: don't wait until you want a drink to look at your plan.
I did finally "get it" and I think Scott and others gave you the answer: don't wait until you want a drink to look at your plan.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by Grendhar
Hello.
The question I see here asked a lot is "Do you have a plan?"
I drank after 8 days without a drink. The longest I had ever gone. I am currently on Day 3 after struggling to get my momentum back. Today is the first day my head is cleared up enough to really think about things.
When I think of a plan I think of the links Dee provided. One in particular suggests creating a 3 ring binder and creating a Wellness Toolbox, things you can do to keep yourself on track (that's how I interpreted it.) and it talks about things to do if you find myself going off track.
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
I know I must be missing something here, and maybe other newcomers could gain something if this were explained.
I don't want a debate, I am not bashing Dee or the plan advice. I want to understand it.
Thank you!
The question I see here asked a lot is "Do you have a plan?"
I drank after 8 days without a drink. The longest I had ever gone. I am currently on Day 3 after struggling to get my momentum back. Today is the first day my head is cleared up enough to really think about things.
When I think of a plan I think of the links Dee provided. One in particular suggests creating a 3 ring binder and creating a Wellness Toolbox, things you can do to keep yourself on track (that's how I interpreted it.) and it talks about things to do if you find myself going off track.
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
I know I must be missing something here, and maybe other newcomers could gain something if this were explained.
I don't want a debate, I am not bashing Dee or the plan advice. I want to understand it.
Thank you!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Grendhar
...my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I agree with the mindfulness part. It's absolutely our own jobs to make the planning and exercising of the plan happen every day. I think of my recovery plan like a fire drill. Careful planning and preparation and practice will keep me out of the fire, and safe as long as I keep all my safety tools handy, relevant and in good working order. it is as easy as not taking that first drink and as hard as exercising and maintaining a carefully practiced plan every day as a preventative measure.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
a reminder binder ??? sober toolbelt ???
Originally Posted by Grendhar
It all sounds really good but my question is, what would make a person who really wants a drink open up their 3 ring binder and look at their plan?
This sober tool box binder for me would also be something that I would study and do when I'm not necessarily wanting a drink. Maybe we could call it a reminder binder.
Remind me of what?
Possibly of how terrible it was when I was drinking and what I need to do so as to stay away from the liquid devil?
My reminder binder (staying sober plan) consist of,
AA meetings
a lot of reading and posting at soberrecovery.com
church
bible studies
if I drank -- a wife that would kick my butt right before leaving home.
M-Bob
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