Grendhar

Thanks everyone.

MikeM

So how are you doing Grendhar? And what's the plan?

Grendhar

Drank today .. am in same situation as when I wrote this thread. Sober but drank quite a few hours ago.

Other than heartburn I'm okay .. but I know this is the exception to the rule. This is how I used to be. I used to be able to drink .. run out of beer and accept the fact I was done drinking for the day.. do it the next day.

Before my 8 days without a drink .. I couldn't do that anymore.. I was drinking a lot of beer .. then heading right back out to the store to buy more and blacking out.

Now that I've been drinking again I've been a little more aware of things I'm doing when I am drinking and been a little more careful but I know it won't last ..

Struggling to get my motivation back after losing my 8 days I guess. I know I need to start again .. just have to get that momentum back .. to wake up and say okay!! Time to win this battle!

That's how I felt during those 8 days .. I felt like I was winning a battle and it felt good.

I am going back to A.A starting tomorrow ..

MikeM

Hi Grendhar,

I've put in bold a couple of things for you to notice.

You remind me a lot of myself.

There are three things you're doing:

1. You're lying to yourself. You're not ok. You haven't changed enough yet.

2. You're lazy. You have no real dedication. It's not about struggling and gaining momentum. It's about DOING. Even if it is difficult and uncomfortable.

3. You make yourself believe you're putting in the effort by going to AA. But if you don't have that pure, burning motivation, being at an AA meeting won't matter much.

You need to quit NOW. Not at a later point. You tend to want to put it in the future to avoid the discomfort of doing it NOW.

You keep avoiding answering my question about making a plan. You're not doing it. Have you taken Dee's link and with full dedication worked through the documents? No you haven't.

Quit drinking now and go to this link right away:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Substitute drinking by going through that right away. Even if at this point you're drunk. Even if you're very drunk. You might need to go back to it and re-do it when you've sobered up, but no matter what's going on with you, do it immediately.

Quit now. Start making the plan now.

I know. I'm pushing this hard, but I KNOW that it will help you tremendously. I wouldn't have gotten sober without it and we're pretty similar I noticed.

So... get to work!

Grendhar

Went to an A.A meeting a couple hours ago. Empowered me to not stop and buy beer on the way home.

Going to another meeting later.

Grendhar

Plan is going to be to go to 90 meetings in 90 days and stay on SR.

Anna

Once again...

Please use respect when posting in this Forum.

Grendhar

Did I miss something?

Anna

I PMd you Grendhar.

MikeM

Although I came across asa bit harsh, it came from a place of wanting to help. And respect as well. I come from a family where we are direct to each other and that's simply ok. It's the way it is. How we communicate.

I needed to, and still do sometimes, learn to adjust that when communicating with others. The place I'm coming from is similar to that in my family tough. Respect. Wanting to help. Caring.

For example, we just say to each other: "Go outside, you're being lazy and you're far too fat. You need to eat less otherwise you'll end up with a heart-attack." It's direct but just normal to us. But the underlying emotions are those I mentioned.

So I apologize. I need to learn something here and I will. Won't happen again. And otherwise, just say: "Hey, you're being too direct again!".

Optimist4ever57

Great quote!