teatreeoil007

Yes stop drinking by all means but for me I was needing to seriously address the issues that were in my life driving me to drink!! Counseling has been tremendous as I am called out on my issues...

lovetolisten

My heart is breaking for you because I know how you feel - I've been there. It will be ok, and it will get better. You and you alone have the power to never go through this again; all you have to do is never pick up another drink

uncorked

Awww, Six, been there, said that. My husband and I are in the process of divorce which was due, in large part, to my drinking. He was also awarded temporary sole custody of our son. I'm telling you this so you don't wind up in a similar situation down the road. Stop now before you get to that point. I wound up going to rehab for 7 weeks and it was the best thing I ever did. I wish I would have done it years ago. If/when you decide to quit drinking and take the time to examine your life, you'll find yourself in healthier relationships. "Water seeks its own level," they said in rehab. I hope a healthier me will one day have a healthier relationship. And I wish that for you, too.

Rcvringaddict30

I've been there too!! There is no worse feeling than finding out that you said terrible things to the one you love, especially when it's not how you feel when sober. And the hardest thing, is knowing that the person won't forgive you and doesn't understand that it's the alcoholic addict voice speaking and not you.

We are all here for you and many of us have been there!

Jsbodhi

Totally done this.
Lost a boyfriend over it xoxo

louturner20

I am going through a similar situation. My boyfriend, I'm a freshman in college and he is a junior, had been dating for a little over four months--doesn't sound like long but we felt very strongly about each other. I tend to get really anxious when I don't get enough reassurance in a relationship, especially so when I get drunk. I would be mean to him, pick fights, and text him some truly crazy s**t when I was blackout. We had talked through each time with me apologizing--even if sometimes he is not the most considerate person. Last Tuesday I got more blackout than I have in a long time and went over to his apartment long after he'd gone to sleep but I was out with friends. In the morning he would barely look at me, and asked if I remember yelling at him and fighting last night. I have no memory and am too scared to know what I said. He broke up with me last week, saying that he didn't think we should date anymore. I try so hard to be a thoughtful and fun person in relationships, but I've found this is my second serious relationship that has ended in part due to my drunken rages. I don't feel the need to drink alone, and am perfectly content just going out and having a beer. But sometimes--especially when I'm emotional and having a bad day--I go on this crazy drunk tangent of self destruction. I don't know what to do from here.

doggonecarl

Really? Has the idea to quit drinking crossed your mind? You have an abnormal relationship with alcohol. If you want normal relationship with future boyfriends, you are going to have to break up with alcohol.

ahealthylife

I am sure many of us have been there. I know I have said mean things when drunk, even if I can't remember them all.

What to do from here? Call a help line, see your doctor, get counselling. Any or all! Going to see a doctor is really really hard but can be a huge huge help.

Don't judge yourself, accept what is and focus forward. Leave the past in the past and create a new future as of right this moment.

I have, it's not easy and I needed help but I now feel I'm getting there.

Berrybean

Hi Lou.

Glad you're here and posting and reading. I agree with Carl about staying away from alcohol. Do you think that will be a problem for you?

It might also be worth looking into why you feel the need for so much reassurance and are so fearful around relationships. There is plenty of help out there once we're willing to ask for it. I found CoDa to be very helpful in understanding my own neediness and acting out.

BB

Ina123

Hi Lou,
It's great that you're posting here. I knew I had a problem with alcohol since university and waited well over a decade before admitting it, so I applaud you for having the courage to come here and share your story. Getting blackout drunk is so scary and like you, I've done and said some crazy things! You are definitely not alone. Unfortunately for many of us here, the reality is that we can't drink normally like other people. I was like you in university, I'd be fine sometimes just having a few beer and then sometimes I'd go off on a tangent and get completely messed up and not remember a thing! Fast forward to over a decade and I was drinking almost daily and having blackouts regularly, leaving behind me a path of destruction. I do not wish that for you at all. For us alcoholics (not saying that you are, you have to decide that) the disease is progressive and only gets worse. Luckily there are lots of resources out there. Have you thought about talking to a councillor? Or a friend, perhaps? I've been sober for four months now by coming on this site daily and sharing with others and reading their stories. Life has never been better. My relationships have improved. My health is better. I look way better.

As far as your relationship with the guy, I'm so sorry it ended the way it did. It sucks! But now may be a good time to work on yourself.

When I first came on this site someone said "I have never regretted NOT drinking" and that really stuck with me! Cause it's true! I've never woke up hungover and thought...wow so glad I did that...wish I had another!

Why not join the May class here? I’m in the January class and it really helps to have others to keep you accountable and share the journey with.

Keep posting and reading what others have to say. This site is full of lovely people with really great advice and encouragement.

I wish you well and really hope you stick around and keep posting!!!

PhoenixJ

If you are serious- think about a detox- then rehab. Think about a doc, therapist and meetings. A plan of attack to get and stay sober.
Empathy and support to you. Pj

MsCooterBrown

6Six....I am in no way a pointer....Like do this or do that. I got nothing! All I know is I am sorry you went thru this. WAIT THIS IS FROM 2016!!! Never mind. Why do these pop up ???????

Done4today

Welcome Lou,

Glad you are here trying to find a solution. There are many different programs. First you have to accept your drinking is abnormal (which you already know). Just a little bit of advice, look around in these forums. There are no normal drinkers asking for advice or opinions. Your drinking has caused a problem strong enough that you are seeking solutions. The only real solution is complete abstinence. Don't let that scare you. Learn to think in the moment about it and you won't ever have to drink again. Your college experience will be much more profound and enjoyable. The friendships you develop will be with true friends not selfish players like us alcoholics. Good luck and many prayers