boyfriend dumped me for my drunken rant
 

I'm literally at rock bottom today. Never in my life have I felt so low and disgusted in myself. Two nights ago I started drinking wine by myself. I got to the point where I was blackout drunk. I ended up walking over to my boyfriends as we had plans which I was also two hours late for. I don't even remember the walk over. I woke up in the morning and he was telling me I have to leave as my flight was leaving. I literally woke up and had this sinking feeling in my stomach that something terrible had happened. Long story short I got on my flight, I was going home to visit family so I left his apartment very rushed that morning. As I started to sober up on the plane I kept thinking something terrible happened... my worst fears were confirmed 24 hours later. After trying relentless either contact him and text him it was obvious to me he was avoiding me. I finally got a text from him last night. Essentially he told me I have a drinking problem when he is done with the relationship. This is not the first time he's called me out on my drinking. He told me I said disgusting things to him and he does not want to see me again. Essentially he told me he has blocked my number and is disgusted me. He also called me ******* gross. I'm quite certain I said terrible things about screwing around with other men. Which I have never done for the record! I don't know why say such mean things I'm absolutely devastated. I have been with this man for 8 months and I really thought I was going to marry him..so hard to believe that this time last week we were celebrating Valentine's Day and now I'm sitting here writing on this forum. I am at a loss I can't even eat I cannot sleep I feel absolutely hopeless

Time for change.

Do you want to quit drinking?

Welcome 6

I feel for you I really do I was in a a very similar situation to yourself would get blind drunk on a night out/family do anywhere alcohol was available, would pick a fight with my boyfriend show myself up and disgrace myself and generally turn into a vile human being. I have not had a drink for 5 weeks now after what was probably my worst episode of drunken behaviour to date at his family do of all places. Luckily for me my boyfriend forgave me (again) however i know it is last chance saloon.

After that I vowed that the drinking would stop regardless to whether I still had a relationship or not. It's been hard intermittent urges to drink tackling exhaustion, dealing with life sober one of the hardest as life has thrown a few problems more than usual at me as well, but I plod on.

Life does not necessarily get better straight away but I am becoming more of the person I was again before the binge drinking habit took over, I like that person more!! I would encourage you to stop drinking regardless as to whether you can salvage your relationship. I am a firm believer in fate and what will be will be.

This site is a wonderful place could not do it without all the folk here posting and encouraging, let's all keep going, keep logging in, sharing, posting :)

Xx

I´m sorry for your pain. But us alkies destroy everything...

I suggest you fo to A.A. asap and make recovery the number one priority in your life. Then your life will get better!

There is hope and a solution to alcoholism, I experienced that myself after 20 years of drinking and a lot o pain.
S

"I am at a loss I can't even eat I cannot sleep I feel absolutely hopeless."

sums up how i felt the day after my last drunk-after my fiance told me some of the things i had said and done the day/night before.
that was the start of my journey of recovery with the help of AA.
once feeling i was ahopeless,helpless,useless,worthless, POS
i no longer feel that way. i have worth,use, hope, can help, and love myself today.

PLEASE let this be your turning point, 6.

I've done the same thing -- I would say the worst, most hurtful things, things that weren't even true and I would never even think of saying if I wasn't drunk.

The unbearable shame and guilt made me drink even more and I ended up in a downward spiral of misery that just got worse and worse.

My best hope of never doing that again is getting and staying sober and I got help for it.

Welcome to SR. If you want the same thing, this is a great place to start with lots of support and information.

I'm sorry this happened to you Six, I've been in similar situations because of my drinking and I know it's a horrible place to be in. But please use this experience to change your life for the better. Go to a meeting, sit and listen to what others have to say and see what you can relate to. I hope things start looking up for you soon, please keep us updated.

I am sorry for your pain. I can totally relate and reading your post really hurt as I have been there myself, on more than one occasion. I'm in my 40s now but can think of 2 serious relationships which I thought would lead to marriage which both ended due to my drinking problem.

At 3 years sober now I can see just why these men ended the relationship. Would I have put up with such behaviour from a man towards me? Of course not! Even if they didn't mean it or said it wouldn't happen again - like domestic violence - it always does happen again. The number of times I was called out for my nastiness after drinking and I said it wouldn't happen again - it always did until they had enough and walked away.

The only way to ensure this doesn't happen again is to quit drinking completely. then you never have to go through this again. Ok, maybe this guy won't forgive you and it really is the end but at least you know if you quit it will never happen again ever when you do meet someone else in the future. It was only when I concentrated on myself and got sober that my life improved.

I never want to drink again

[QUOTE=Louise72;5807984]I feel for you I really do I was in a a very similar situation to yourself would get blind drunk on a night out/family do anywhere alcohol was available, would pick a fight with my boyfriend show myself up and disgrace myself and generally turn into a vile human being. I have not had a drink for 5 weeks now after what was probably my worst episode of drunken behaviour to date at his family do of all places. Luckily for me my boyfriend forgave me (again) however i know it is last chance saloon.

After that I vowed that the drinking would stop regardless to whether I still had a relationship or not. It's been hard intermittent urges to drink tackling exhaustion, dealing with life sober one of the hardest as life has thrown a few problems more than usual at me as well, but I plod on.

Life does not necessarily get better straight away but I am becoming more of the person I was again before the binge drinking habit took over, I like that person more!! I would encourage you to stop drinking regardless as to whether you can salvage your relationship. I am a firm believer in fate and what will be will be.

This site is a wonderful place could not do it without all the folk here posting and encouraging, let's all keep going, keep logging in, sharing, posting :)

Xx[/QUOTE


Thank you 😢

Glad you found us

I replied in your other thread as well. I've felt the same heartbreak and I'm sorry for your loss.

I'll tell you something: In 41 days sober, my life, including my social life, has really improved. If you quit drinking, you'll have many opportunities ahead to meet even better men. I know you can't imagine loving anybody more than him, but BETTER people will be in your life once you're not drinking.

FWIW, I'm not involved with AA. Try it and if it's not fitting right, try something else. Just make defeating the enemy (alcohol) your Number One Goal.

Welcome 6. Many of us know just how you're feeling right now.

I drank for decades. In the end, it was every day. My personality changed radically when it was in my system. I can't even believe some of the things I said and did - completely out-of-character for me. I knew I could never trust myself to drink socially. One drink and off I went - into that other world of danger and despair.

You sound ready to leave that old life behind. There's no doubt you can do it. You found a great place for friendship and support. Glad you are here. :)

I hope you stop the insanity soon, you don't have to live this way! Hope you get a plan together and stop drinking..

There you go. Keep this memory and let it fuel your determination. Take alcohol off the list of options, period. Make and execute a plan. Build a support network. Take part in sobriety-group functions, AA or otherwise.

Change can happen, but we have to drive it.

My heart is breaking for you because I know how you feel - I've been there. It will be ok, and it will get better. You and you alone have the power to never go through this again; all you have to do is never pick up another drink

Are you ready to give up drinking for good? It is obviously having terribly negative effects on your life. We are here to help ya if you want it!

Welcome Six, I am sorry for what happened, but very glad you are here. You will find lots of support on SR. Spend some time reading and posting, and definitely look up Dee's link for coming up with a plan, I am sure someone will be along to post it.

As bad as you are feeling about the relationship focus on you and getting sober. You can do this!!

❤️ Delilah