mns1

James I am a man of science as well and for a long time tried to "explain" my drinking but you know what I just can't drink.

That's the explanation. I can't drink nomally. Period.

2muchpain

Yes!!!! John

soberlife123

Sounds pretty miserable obsessing about all of that. I hope you are safe and well, but I'm learning the amount of energy I used to put into "how much I can drink" versus if I just accepted "i can't drink" . Wow. What if I used that for something else?

least

I hope you will take action to get sober for good.

SoberLife90

Sounds terrible. Is drinking really that important to you? Who gives a **** about those statistics. If you want to give up drinking for good you can do it! Moderation isn't going to happen for us alkies. Trying to moderate is not fun! Who wants to drink a moderate amount of alcohol?

Soberwolf

Wishing you the best today James

JamesfrmEngland

Thanks for all your comments, I am good at listening to advice but if I get criticised in the slightest I am not good at taking criticism. I went to uni yday and did drink, I drank on the bus going (not car thankfully) and downed a can in the toilets before I walked in. Had some more guiness after went to a bar, and had a quarter bottle of vodka. I considered smoking again for a time, and I got into some sexual behaviour let's say. I got a pizza coming home from my old work and I must say the alcohol just makes me feel quite sad these days, tired, and sometimes suicidal. I made a commitment last night that I would try to go for abstinence again today and said it in rehab today. The thoughts came in that maybe I should drink tonight again but when I tried moderation I said I would not let myself get bad again and it is going that way. I can see the writing on the wall in a sense and it is better to stop before it gets too late. Now I know I will have a sleepless night, and I will be bored with nothing to do at night but I'll have to get through it.

mav

Good luck James. Abstinence is the only way. It gets easier.

Dee74

Hi James

I don't think any of us is great with criticism.
It might help if you thought of the posts here as helpful advice instead of criticism?

The bottom line is no one should be slapping you on the back and saying that drinking is a good idea, or a viable option.

It's just not - and that's not what we do here.

You need to listen to those voices if you want to change, I think?
Some of the best posts I ever read were the ones that challenged me to do better

D

MIRecovery

Trying to apply science to something that makes no sense is simply a waste of time. Alcoholism comes with it's own unique set of rules and conventions.

Thumpalumpacus

Assigning special mysticism to the understandable makes no sense, either. Nothing is off-limits from inquiry.

No. So much for understanding it, perhaps -- but that's an entirely different story.

Logic doesn't address real-world issues like addictions, in the first place. Logic is abstract, addictions are concrete.

As for science, I'm pretty sure science can address alcoholism, if not perfectly at this time, surely as our knowledge grows. An alcoholic is someone addicted to alcohol.

Dee74

Actually I think the salient point here is: if your methods or your approach is not working for you? change it.

D

MIRecovery

I have never seen anyone too stupid to get sober but the number that are too smart is legendary When I stopped fighting everything and everybody and simply did what people with long term recovery did I started down the path of a new and better life.

OpenTuning

James,

Sorry to see things have gone wrong for you and drinking has taken over again.

I'm someone who believes passionately in science and the scientific method.

But let me throw two words at you. Confirmation Bias.

There are countless studies showing the damaging effects of alcohol. The UK government recently released new drinking guidelines based on that science, which shows that there is no safe amount of alcohol to drink. Their new recommended maximum daily amount is 3-4 units for men (about 1.5 cans of Guinness). And even that is just considered an acceptable level of risk, rather than a safe amount.

Your attempt at moderate drinking appeared to involve starting with well over that amount. So already you were ignoring the advice from valid scientific studies.

Why? I would suggest it's perhaps because those studies did not conform with what you wanted to hear (or your AV wanted to hear, to be more precise). That drinking the amount you want to drink is safe and scientifically valid. This is not the place to debate different studies, but where the scientific method can go wrong is when you start with a result you want to achieve, and then go looking for evidence to back that up, ignoring the evidence that doesn't fit. Confirmation bias.

But ultimately, all of this is irrelevant, because there's a much simpler approach. Why role the dice at all, regardless of what science does or doesn't say about the odds, given you know for an absolute fact, from direct personal experience, how devastating an impact alcohol has on you?

Bunny211

I had a hard time accepting AA as well. Where are the empirical studies? Has science "proven" that I can't drink? What is this "allergy" to alcohol? It all seemed like junk science to me. But, I now accept that if I put booze in the hole in my face I end up drunk within 24 hours. In 24 hours I will go from being a productive, working member of society to a hopeless mess, un showered and passed out on my sofa. When all else fails, I am still petrified to death of alcohol and THAT keeps me sober!

Soberwolf

James have you tried AA or Smart meetings ?

Surrender2win

^^^ This

SoberLife90

I don't believe in a God who watches over me, but Ibam an AAer. What I do is I am grateful for all the things I have. I am thankful to be healthy, have friends, mybfamily. When I say I thank god for that it's more than I am grateful that Ibhave all of those things in myblofe because I truly am fortunate. When I go to meetings most people have a different conception of god and that is okay. In AA we can have any conception we like. Goodluck. Don't let that slip ruin your sobriety today. You have found out some new information about yourself and now you can use it to your advantage.

freshstart57

James, you mention science, and you may have fooled some of the responders here about your use of the word, but from my understanding, you tossed science right in the bin along with your sobriety. Science didn't mislead you, you did that perfectly well on your own. The purest science you have, your own experience, says that drinking alcohol does not go well for you, and there is no evidence to think that it ever will.

Here's a statistic for you. Three quarters of alcoholics get sober without any formal recovery program. This doesn't tell YOU what to do or HOW to do it, but that you can make the choices you need to make to get sober and stay sober.

There is no reason to drink, James. None. And no reason to skip your classes.

Please keep reaching out for support from any avenue, including SR. You can do this. You must do this. So.........

Onward!

HighDraw18

Hmm interesting. It's easy to get bogged down in rationalizing and utilizing logic (twisted logic but logic nonetheless) to remain active in our addictions.

I would argue that it's very easy to claim that one is "too smart" or "too rational" to buy into widely accepted means of treating addiction.

The difficult part is possessing enough self-awareness to evaluate addiction and its effects on one's life, comprehending the depth of the situation, and finding the best path to recovery. This requires that all bias be put aside. Is it wiser to argue and analyze each point of recovery ad nauseam or objectively recognize that our lives have become unmanageable and seek an appropriate way to rectify that?

Just my two cents.