Life Changing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Life Changing
100 days today.
This change and new start is without doubt the best move I have ever made in my life.
I've come to realise just how much of my life I've wasted drinking & drugging / being drunk or high and planning pretty much all of my adult life around it and the need to be on another planet - quite sad on reflection that every aspect of it has been dominated by my need to get off my head - the reason for this reflection was that we were asked as part of our couples counselling to discuss memorable moments we've shared together and you know what I've searched back through the last 30 years (24 years together) and I can't find a single one that I can recall that wasn't dominated by alcohol or drugs, even when I was there and in control it was all about the plan for the next time or reminiscing about drunken antics, absolutely dominating my life.
It's actually cemented it clearly in my mind just how much I now despise what I have wasted of my life as a drunken / drugged up mess but I'm certainly not seeing it as a bad thing at all as it is giving me a solid determination that it will not be allowed to control me ever again.
I genuinely do not want to drink or use drugs anymore and the feeling of missing them is being replaced by a feeling of calm and real happiness at how I really am in control without them in my life.
Of course it's still very early days and I've had some pretty rough moments over the last 3 months but for those of you just starting out please believe me when I tell you that it really does get so much better if you stick with it - alcohol and drugs are definitely not the be all and end all I thought they were pretty much all my life (2/3 of it) - there is a life after them and you know what it's getting better everyday.
This change and new start is without doubt the best move I have ever made in my life.
I've come to realise just how much of my life I've wasted drinking & drugging / being drunk or high and planning pretty much all of my adult life around it and the need to be on another planet - quite sad on reflection that every aspect of it has been dominated by my need to get off my head - the reason for this reflection was that we were asked as part of our couples counselling to discuss memorable moments we've shared together and you know what I've searched back through the last 30 years (24 years together) and I can't find a single one that I can recall that wasn't dominated by alcohol or drugs, even when I was there and in control it was all about the plan for the next time or reminiscing about drunken antics, absolutely dominating my life.
It's actually cemented it clearly in my mind just how much I now despise what I have wasted of my life as a drunken / drugged up mess but I'm certainly not seeing it as a bad thing at all as it is giving me a solid determination that it will not be allowed to control me ever again.
I genuinely do not want to drink or use drugs anymore and the feeling of missing them is being replaced by a feeling of calm and real happiness at how I really am in control without them in my life.
Of course it's still very early days and I've had some pretty rough moments over the last 3 months but for those of you just starting out please believe me when I tell you that it really does get so much better if you stick with it - alcohol and drugs are definitely not the be all and end all I thought they were pretty much all my life (2/3 of it) - there is a life after them and you know what it's getting better everyday.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Great to hear how far you've come, I remember your first post about the business trip... Out of interest are you still socialising with the same people or have you changed your circle of friends / activities too? I find I'm much happier taking the kids swimming or to the skate park in the mornings when I'm not disabled with a hangover.
Well done, fabulous effort : )))
Well done, fabulous effort : )))
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Red,
100 days. You are free from the physical addiction. Congrats.
I still had/have lingering mental issues, but nothing debilitating.
AA taught me to forgive myself. Make a list. Work to amend.
I'm religious too, so it really is up to God for me. That is AA too.
But, to put a spin on it...consider....
If you hadn't been drunk/drugged all those times, something horrid may have happened. Ya, I might have ended up a Dr., but I might have gotten hit by a bus.
I am sure you had a bottom, haven't read your posting history. Hopefully it wasn't too life damaging.
You probably wouldn't have had the same crazy fun you did. Right?
Now you are evolving into a new person. Now you are aware. You are writing a new chapter in the book of your life.
The world according to D122y.
Thanks for the therapy. Great post. C u around sir.
100 days. You are free from the physical addiction. Congrats.
I still had/have lingering mental issues, but nothing debilitating.
AA taught me to forgive myself. Make a list. Work to amend.
I'm religious too, so it really is up to God for me. That is AA too.
But, to put a spin on it...consider....
If you hadn't been drunk/drugged all those times, something horrid may have happened. Ya, I might have ended up a Dr., but I might have gotten hit by a bus.
I am sure you had a bottom, haven't read your posting history. Hopefully it wasn't too life damaging.
You probably wouldn't have had the same crazy fun you did. Right?
Now you are evolving into a new person. Now you are aware. You are writing a new chapter in the book of your life.
The world according to D122y.
Thanks for the therapy. Great post. C u around sir.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
FF - I had to distance myself from the craziness of my social group - some great lads and all understanding of my decision and the need to make a break from it / them - all wished me well but the fact is the main common denominator was drink and drugs and in fact that was all we ever did together so unlikely I'm going to fit in to any future plans but that isn't a problem anymore, I've finally realised what truly is important in my life which is my wife and daughter and that is what I am focusing on, making amends, I really had turned into a complete ******** who didn't care about anything other than myself and didn't seem to care who I upset as long as I was off it, seeing my wife happy again and living in a settled and calm home is something I never thought possible until I realised what was actually causing all the problems and what had to change if there was to be any future - my actions were destroying everything and it wasn't long before the lot was going to disappear.
I put all my mates on a pedestal for so long and always wanted to be the leader of the pack in a world of make believe - yes I really can't deny we had some fantastic times and a lot of great memories but it's more the fact that it has totally dominated my life that I am reflecting on - perhaps despising not quite the correct word just understanding how much it really was the only focus of my life, I've now realised it is possible to be happy without drink and drugs in fact it's a better place all round - the chaos has finally stopped.
I put all my mates on a pedestal for so long and always wanted to be the leader of the pack in a world of make believe - yes I really can't deny we had some fantastic times and a lot of great memories but it's more the fact that it has totally dominated my life that I am reflecting on - perhaps despising not quite the correct word just understanding how much it really was the only focus of my life, I've now realised it is possible to be happy without drink and drugs in fact it's a better place all round - the chaos has finally stopped.
Keep doing what you're doing cause it gets better still. 
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