So this is how terrible I am
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 292
My heart breaks for you too, Mike. I do not think you are attention seeking. I think you are struggling with a horrible addiction.
Everyone needs their own plan to get and stay sober. I hope the help your friend gives you is the right one for you.
I hope you do come back and post and say you are one year/month/week/day sober with the help of your friend or what ever other help you can get. Nobody will be skeptical. Everyone will just be pleased to hear you are doing well
Wishing you all the best.
Everyone needs their own plan to get and stay sober. I hope the help your friend gives you is the right one for you.
I hope you do come back and post and say you are one year/month/week/day sober with the help of your friend or what ever other help you can get. Nobody will be skeptical. Everyone will just be pleased to hear you are doing well
Wishing you all the best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
at first it was your brother that was going to help you.
then it was your parents.
then it was rehab.
now it's this "friend".
and of course thru it all SR has maintained a VERY consistent message that you refute.
it seems you thrive on being the worst of the worst. and then saying that we don't get it, could never understand. but in truth, you are no different than any other alcoholic in a bad way.....except you like to wear it like a badge of honor or something.
then it was your parents.
then it was rehab.
now it's this "friend".
and of course thru it all SR has maintained a VERY consistent message that you refute.
it seems you thrive on being the worst of the worst. and then saying that we don't get it, could never understand. but in truth, you are no different than any other alcoholic in a bad way.....except you like to wear it like a badge of honor or something.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Your addiction is not just about you. It also affect your loved ones.
Seeing someone you love destroy themselves with drugs and alcohol and refusing help is heart breaking. I lost the number of times I arranged for detoxes and rehab for my ex and how often he just walked out because of whatever.
I truly feel for your mom and dad. I see people like them post all the time in F&F. They are trying everything to help you and it must be devastating for them that you walked out after 2 hours when they went through all the trouble of finding a treatment for you.
You are blessed that your loved ones have not given up on you (yet).
Seeing someone you love destroy themselves with drugs and alcohol and refusing help is heart breaking. I lost the number of times I arranged for detoxes and rehab for my ex and how often he just walked out because of whatever.
I truly feel for your mom and dad. I see people like them post all the time in F&F. They are trying everything to help you and it must be devastating for them that you walked out after 2 hours when they went through all the trouble of finding a treatment for you.
You are blessed that your loved ones have not given up on you (yet).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm sorry to hear you walked out Mike.
I get that rehab is frightening and I get that our cravings make us very uncomfortable, but you really need to give something more than 2 hours try.
If you can't do that, if you won't do AA or any other groups, if you're not into Drs or counselling, and you feel your addiction is too strong and you're too weak...
right now, with a head full of that kind of defeatist stuff and those limited options you're fighting with one hand bound...
out here in the big bad world I'm not sure whats going to keep you from cracking again?
I don't know what else to suggest but going back to the treatment centre, Mike and working through the discomfort.
In a few days you'd feel massively better.
D
I get that rehab is frightening and I get that our cravings make us very uncomfortable, but you really need to give something more than 2 hours try.
If you can't do that, if you won't do AA or any other groups, if you're not into Drs or counselling, and you feel your addiction is too strong and you're too weak...
right now, with a head full of that kind of defeatist stuff and those limited options you're fighting with one hand bound...
out here in the big bad world I'm not sure whats going to keep you from cracking again?
I don't know what else to suggest but going back to the treatment centre, Mike and working through the discomfort.
In a few days you'd feel massively better.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Mike, I've been reading your posts and remember a while back when 1 Day was as big of a mountain as it feels like today.
But there was a Monday not long ago when I logged into SR after reading a week of posts as to why it was impossible, and then YOU were doing it, and on Tuesday and Wednesday, YOU were still doing it, making Sobriety happen, and I and many others here on SR were overjoyed.
It can be done, it's within you to make it happen once again, Sobriety can be your life, not this chaos of alcohol.
SR is once again in your corner and wants to see you beat this!!
But there was a Monday not long ago when I logged into SR after reading a week of posts as to why it was impossible, and then YOU were doing it, and on Tuesday and Wednesday, YOU were still doing it, making Sobriety happen, and I and many others here on SR were overjoyed.
It can be done, it's within you to make it happen once again, Sobriety can be your life, not this chaos of alcohol.
SR is once again in your corner and wants to see you beat this!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Well, instead of working through the mountain of beer cans, I've actually been asleep for a few hours. I threw everything I had left out and went to bed, which was around 8:30 PM over here. That was new.
I had to go to the bathroom so I checked in. I'm not so convinced it's impossible for me to quit anymore. So tomorrow will be another day 1, but different. I threw it out, believe that it could become possible for me, and... no hangover.
Just before I logged on, I woke up, disoriented. "I was drinking. What time is it? I'm not drunk." Which was funny, but not as funny as the thought that I thought it was a shame I bought all this beer, only to throw it out. LOL. That was just a quick thought and I just had to laugh at it.
Ok, I'm going back to bed to blissfully sleep into day 1. Thanks a lot folks. It might not always seem like it, but I do highly appreciate the help.
I threw everything I had left out and went to bed, which was around 8:30 PM over here. That was new. I had to go to the bathroom so I checked in. I'm not so convinced it's impossible for me to quit anymore. So tomorrow will be another day 1, but different. I threw it out, believe that it could become possible for me, and... no hangover.
Just before I logged on, I woke up, disoriented. "I was drinking. What time is it? I'm not drunk." Which was funny, but not as funny as the thought that I thought it was a shame I bought all this beer, only to throw it out. LOL. That was just a quick thought and I just had to laugh at it.
Ok, I'm going back to bed to blissfully sleep into day 1. Thanks a lot folks. It might not always seem like it, but I do highly appreciate the help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
Originally Posted by MikeM 
Well, instead of working through the mountain of beer cans, I've actually been asleep for a few hours. I threw everything I had left out and went to bed, which was around 8:30 PM over here. That was new.
I had to go to the bathroom so I checked in. I'm not so convinced it's impossible for me to quit anymore. So tomorrow will be another day 1, but different. I threw it out, believe that it could become possible for me, and... no hangover.
Just before I logged on, I woke up, disoriented. "I was drinking. What time is it? I'm not drunk." Which was funny, but not as funny as the thought that I thought it was a shame I bought all this beer, only to throw it out. LOL. That was just a quick thought and I just had to laugh at it.
Ok, I'm going back to bed to blissfully sleep into day 1. Thanks a lot folks. It might not always seem like it, but I do highly appreciate the help.
I threw everything I had left out and went to bed, which was around 8:30 PM over here. That was new. I had to go to the bathroom so I checked in. I'm not so convinced it's impossible for me to quit anymore. So tomorrow will be another day 1, but different. I threw it out, believe that it could become possible for me, and... no hangover.
Just before I logged on, I woke up, disoriented. "I was drinking. What time is it? I'm not drunk." Which was funny, but not as funny as the thought that I thought it was a shame I bought all this beer, only to throw it out. LOL. That was just a quick thought and I just had to laugh at it.
Ok, I'm going back to bed to blissfully sleep into day 1. Thanks a lot folks. It might not always seem like it, but I do highly appreciate the help.
One thing I will say is that a lot of my calories were consumed in the form of beer, so eat as much as you can. Honestly, in the beginning of every 'cleansing cycle' I've endured, I have eaten anything I have an appetite for. Healthier the better, but noodle soups like pho' have been my go to. A lot of water, and a few ginger ales help me get through the fizzy fix. I try to avoid caffeine. I'm sensitive to it, and intensifies the cravings. Don't take this as medical advice; I just know that not skipping meals has helped in my prior attempts at quitting.
Nothing against this site, AA, or any other helpful source, but once I get to the stage where I don't consciously think about drinking, I avoid the topic and deem it as poison, as if it doesn't exist as a consumable fluid. I don't know if this helps, but I categorized alcohol as a flammable liquid, and wondered why we are drinking this stuff that isn't even good for cars. I'm still battling, but hope to make peace with not having to drink. My relapses have generally been due to traumatic emotional occurrences like a family member passing, or a breakup, but now know these negative things are further exacerbated into more negatives if I drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Mike- you are getting a lot of help but you have to want to quit drinking. You have to quit for yourself and no one else.
I quit after 30 years, it can be done. You are going to have to go through a week or so craving. This will pass if you just don't pick up one beer.
I quit after 30 years, it can be done. You are going to have to go through a week or so craving. This will pass if you just don't pick up one beer.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 113
Mike, I'm glad you elected to sleep and toss the booze, I'm glad the advisement of your trusted friend is resonating, and I'm glad you stayed engaged with various forms of support here and in your life. I know from close personal relationships that multiple mental health diagnoses (especially if they included institutionalization) coupled with addiction make for a a tough go. I don't think you're weak; I think the addiction is stronger than you and you're desperately floundering, drowning and trying to grab a life saver that you can hold on to. Please work with your friend and family (and family resources) to ensure your safety as you struggle to quit (both in terms of alcohol and health, risk of accidental harm, and-if relevant-possible mental health crises or issues with cessation and prescribed medications). While multiple diagnoses can add challenge-they are all the more reason to quit (e.g., alcohol often starts as a way to relieve anxiety but the addiction ends up causing massive anxiety).
Best wishes to you and hopes for the strength to overcome the terrible cycle you're in. You can do it!
Best wishes to you and hopes for the strength to overcome the terrible cycle you're in. You can do it!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Congrats Mike
Originally Posted by MikeM
Well, instead of working through the mountain of beer cans, I've actually been asleep for a few hours. I threw everything I had left out and went to bed, which was around 8:30 PM over here. That was new.
I had to go to the bathroom so I checked in. I'm not so convinced it's impossible for me to quit anymore. So tomorrow will be another day 1, but different. I threw it out, believe that it could become possible for me, and... no hangover.
Just before I logged on, I woke up, disoriented. "I was drinking. What time is it? I'm not drunk." Which was funny, but not as funny as the thought that I thought it was a shame I bought all this beer, only to throw it out. LOL. That was just a quick thought and I just had to laugh at it.
Ok, I'm going back to bed to blissfully sleep into day 1. Thanks a lot folks. It might not always seem like it, but I do highly appreciate the help.
I threw everything I had left out and went to bed, which was around 8:30 PM over here. That was new. I had to go to the bathroom so I checked in. I'm not so convinced it's impossible for me to quit anymore. So tomorrow will be another day 1, but different. I threw it out, believe that it could become possible for me, and... no hangover.
Just before I logged on, I woke up, disoriented. "I was drinking. What time is it? I'm not drunk." Which was funny, but not as funny as the thought that I thought it was a shame I bought all this beer, only to throw it out. LOL. That was just a quick thought and I just had to laugh at it.
Ok, I'm going back to bed to blissfully sleep into day 1. Thanks a lot folks. It might not always seem like it, but I do highly appreciate the help.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
