So this is how terrible I am
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
And do you think that you "friend" who is going to help you will do a better job than an experienced treatment centre?
I once was signed in at a rehab many Years ago. I didn't even stay 2 hours because I had a stupid nervous argument with the secretary who was signing me in and I walked out straight away. Fast forward 5 years and I checked back in. It was the best thing I have ever done for my sobriety and I regret wasting the chance that I had 5 years ago.
You are fortunate that you have this opportunity. Swallow your pride, wake up and smell the coffee then go back. At least give it a few days. It sounds as if you had already made up your mind that it would not help.
I once was signed in at a rehab many Years ago. I didn't even stay 2 hours because I had a stupid nervous argument with the secretary who was signing me in and I walked out straight away. Fast forward 5 years and I checked back in. It was the best thing I have ever done for my sobriety and I regret wasting the chance that I had 5 years ago.
You are fortunate that you have this opportunity. Swallow your pride, wake up and smell the coffee then go back. At least give it a few days. It sounds as if you had already made up your mind that it would not help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by MikeM 
Inpatient. Within an hour everything became hazy and all I could think about was drinking. I have some conversation with a professional, but I was obsessing over drinking so I didn't listen much. And quickly after that I just told them that I didn't want to be there and left.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Sounds like you need to be put into protective custody and locked up for a few days. Getting sober freaking sucks more than anything. You just have to do it. I have no tidbits of advice or words of wisdom...you just DO IT.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, Mike; it only gets worse - much, much worse. Without treatment, your future is far scarier than a few months in a lock-down facility.
Seize the moment, Mike; get back to the treatment center.
Wishing you the best.
Seize the moment, Mike; get back to the treatment center.
Wishing you the best.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by Fabat50
You stayed in an excellent treatment centre for only 2 hours before giving up and leaving? Did I understand that right? Is it an out or in patient facility?
My last post to you also said in bold red caps, COOPERATE. You didn't, and so you're drinking again.
I don't see much help for you in your friend or anything outpatient.
This is a matter of life and death. Have yourself declared incompetent and your parents placed in charge. Or get into a lock-down facility.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Just a cautionary tale for you as you work through this. I know you have mentioned in the past that your health is fine. So was mine for a long time when I was drinking heavily. Tests were all normal, BP a tad high but nothing to be worried about. All was good. Then, six months later when I went for my checkup, my liver enzymes were off the charts high and into the severe damage range. My BP was 140 / 110 and my reseting heart rate was over 100. And this was a few weeks after my last drink.
All of this damage happened in a VERY short amount of time. The body eventually reaches a breaking point. My doctor basically told me if I continue to drink, my liver is going to fail. Not maybe but definitely fail. I'm now on medication for my BP and my levels have to be checked constantly. Get help now before you destroy your health. It can happen extremely fast and without warning or any physical symptoms.
All of this damage happened in a VERY short amount of time. The body eventually reaches a breaking point. My doctor basically told me if I continue to drink, my liver is going to fail. Not maybe but definitely fail. I'm now on medication for my BP and my levels have to be checked constantly. Get help now before you destroy your health. It can happen extremely fast and without warning or any physical symptoms.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest US
Posts: 45
Also realize that getting sober just pretty much sucks balls. Excuse the language. But it does.
Mike I haven't followed much; I'm brand new to this forum. But it sure seems like you must be getting *something* out of this cycle of back and forth posts. What do you think that is?
I truly feel for you. I hope you can find your way soon.
((hugs))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by stevepearce
What is your friend going to do for you Mike ? What does he do ?
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Mike, I think that a lot of people come at you with the tough love and tough talk because they really care. I really do not think people are trying to be mean, I think they see that other approaches haven't had an effect so they want to try another route in order to get through. I do understand that it hurts though. The truth always does.
The thing is sobriety is something we have to work at and not always in some satisfying, accomplished way. I think of times I have busted my butt getting stuff done for the day, banging out my chores, sweating under the sun to mow the grass, racing around left and right to get errands done and it is all very annoying and tiring but I do get into bed at night with a certain amount of relief and satisfaction at what I have done. Sometimes sobriety is this way-long fight, working, going to AA or SMART meetings, checking on SR, taking the medication, fighting cravings, researching doctors, etc etc etc and I go to bed still fighting off cravings, pissed that I can't drink, not feeling satisfied, feeling instead angry and annoyed and it just seems like it isn't worth it. But the thing is, it is. Getting sober doesn't always give us that immediate feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Don't get me wrong, making it through one day sober is HUGE, a huge accomplishment, and there are days that I, or others go to bed thinking "praise the stars I am AMAZING, I did it, another day sober down!" but there are other days that it feels like just work, trudging along and what is the point. We have to have a certain amount of faith that holding out, not drinking, putting in the work is going to be worth it in the long run. I do think you can do this, but you throw int he towel too soon.
You have to give it more of a chance. It is not easy but it really is possible.
The thing is sobriety is something we have to work at and not always in some satisfying, accomplished way. I think of times I have busted my butt getting stuff done for the day, banging out my chores, sweating under the sun to mow the grass, racing around left and right to get errands done and it is all very annoying and tiring but I do get into bed at night with a certain amount of relief and satisfaction at what I have done. Sometimes sobriety is this way-long fight, working, going to AA or SMART meetings, checking on SR, taking the medication, fighting cravings, researching doctors, etc etc etc and I go to bed still fighting off cravings, pissed that I can't drink, not feeling satisfied, feeling instead angry and annoyed and it just seems like it isn't worth it. But the thing is, it is. Getting sober doesn't always give us that immediate feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Don't get me wrong, making it through one day sober is HUGE, a huge accomplishment, and there are days that I, or others go to bed thinking "praise the stars I am AMAZING, I did it, another day sober down!" but there are other days that it feels like just work, trudging along and what is the point. We have to have a certain amount of faith that holding out, not drinking, putting in the work is going to be worth it in the long run. I do think you can do this, but you throw int he towel too soon.
You have to give it more of a chance. It is not easy but it really is possible.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Originally Posted by MikeM
I know you mean well, but charade?
Peace.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Mike,
I wonder if you should explore with your friend any possible links between your drinking and your previous mental health issues.
Many have a dual diagnosis of mental health issues of one sort of another with an addiction to alcohol or something else, which makes it all more complicated. From your posts it seemed like your previous mental health issues were pretty major and that your addiction is pretty major, which makes it all the harder.
I recently read some great stuff by Peter Michaelson at his website "Why we Suffer" that addresses both issues in by far the most helpful way I have ever encountered. I would highly recommend looking at his stuff maybe with your friend. For me, it was life changing. Literally. Life changing.
You are clearly a smart man, and this stuff will appeal to your intelligence -- for me, I finally just got it, why i was self sabotaging and better yet how to fix it. Amazing.
Mike -- it is not easy. We know. But we are all worried about you. And your family is. And you are.
Figure out how to get some help that you will accept.
Loved Mera's post -- you have a lot of us really routing for you.
Good luck.
I wonder if you should explore with your friend any possible links between your drinking and your previous mental health issues.
Many have a dual diagnosis of mental health issues of one sort of another with an addiction to alcohol or something else, which makes it all more complicated. From your posts it seemed like your previous mental health issues were pretty major and that your addiction is pretty major, which makes it all the harder.
I recently read some great stuff by Peter Michaelson at his website "Why we Suffer" that addresses both issues in by far the most helpful way I have ever encountered. I would highly recommend looking at his stuff maybe with your friend. For me, it was life changing. Literally. Life changing.
You are clearly a smart man, and this stuff will appeal to your intelligence -- for me, I finally just got it, why i was self sabotaging and better yet how to fix it. Amazing.
Mike -- it is not easy. We know. But we are all worried about you. And your family is. And you are.
Figure out how to get some help that you will accept.
Loved Mera's post -- you have a lot of us really routing for you.
Good luck.
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