She Rears Her Head...
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
She Rears Her Head...
Not sure why I'm posting anything...just checked in here on a whim. I suppose I was touched by a few of the notes in my inbox/board....one only days ago with loving inquiries. I believe my absence is indicative of months of non-sobriety. I suppose my "whim" of taking a "looksee" back here would also be indicative of a return to sobriety brief and weakkneed as it stands today. I'm on Day 3.
Last summer, after a month of sobriety I found myself a drinking buddy. I suppose I was looking for one that day...that and someone who could chop wood as winter was coming and my woodstove is my only source of heat. My drinking buddy soon became my "cabinmate" and we drank ourselves through fall and into Christmas and New Year's.
In the alcoholic-minded fashion, I reason with myself that this little arrangment was only until Christmas...the drinking...and the buddy. Shortly before Christmas, my young drinking buddy's father took his own life....well, truth is, alcohol did...it just used his finger to pull the trigger.
I wasted another year drinking.....
I'm back on the horse at the start of 2016.... we both are. No real plan in place as of yet.....
So very tired of the waste and my own broken hopes and promises to self.
Life is precious....as are people.
My only hope is to persevere...someday...to do something of productivity and lasting to benefit in this world.
I can ONLY do that sober...
It seems only sober I know that....
Last summer, after a month of sobriety I found myself a drinking buddy. I suppose I was looking for one that day...that and someone who could chop wood as winter was coming and my woodstove is my only source of heat. My drinking buddy soon became my "cabinmate" and we drank ourselves through fall and into Christmas and New Year's.
In the alcoholic-minded fashion, I reason with myself that this little arrangment was only until Christmas...the drinking...and the buddy. Shortly before Christmas, my young drinking buddy's father took his own life....well, truth is, alcohol did...it just used his finger to pull the trigger.
I wasted another year drinking.....
I'm back on the horse at the start of 2016.... we both are. No real plan in place as of yet.....
So very tired of the waste and my own broken hopes and promises to self.
Life is precious....as are people.
My only hope is to persevere...someday...to do something of productivity and lasting to benefit in this world.
I can ONLY do that sober...
It seems only sober I know that....
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
so very good to see you, Nuu.
sounds like a tough year.
your avatar...looks exactly like the scrawl on several of my sporadically-kept- journal pages as i was inching closer to staying quit but kept going back to drinking.
i remember scrawling it. screaming the f-word as i was doing it.
it's the only one of my journals i've kept.
i needed to follow it up with action. rearing your head is a beginning.
sounds like a tough year.
your avatar...looks exactly like the scrawl on several of my sporadically-kept- journal pages as i was inching closer to staying quit but kept going back to drinking.
i remember scrawling it. screaming the f-word as i was doing it.
it's the only one of my journals i've kept.
i needed to follow it up with action. rearing your head is a beginning.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Welcome back, nuu!
The worst day sober is better than the best day drinking...
A return to sr is a great start. But this time around, you think sr will be enough? Outpatient rehab is pretty cheap, aa is free, there are lots of face to face options out there.
I hope you embrace recovery, it saved my life.
The worst day sober is better than the best day drinking...
A return to sr is a great start. But this time around, you think sr will be enough? Outpatient rehab is pretty cheap, aa is free, there are lots of face to face options out there.
I hope you embrace recovery, it saved my life.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Hey yuu, New Year isn't just a date on the calendar , it really is one , grab hold and make it a good one.
And in case your AV doesn't get it , you, we, each of us are all part of what makes the world. Productivity and lasting benefit for and from even just ourselves makes an impression on the 'world' , scale doesn't figure in, we each are deserving of a world free of addiction. Glad to see ya, stick around ,eh?
And in case your AV doesn't get it , you, we, each of us are all part of what makes the world. Productivity and lasting benefit for and from even just ourselves makes an impression on the 'world' , scale doesn't figure in, we each are deserving of a world free of addiction. Glad to see ya, stick around ,eh?
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