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Old 12-04-2015, 02:19 PM   #1 (permalink)

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Drunk Cheating?

So I am new here and I am having a hard time with something that happened. I was defiantly drunk and I defiantly drank too much, the problem with me is that I don't drink everyday but when I see a drink I can't stop throughout the night. So my girlfriend and I had a friend over and my girlfriend is more of a boy tomboy lesbian than a feminine lesbian which our friend is a complete feminine one and my girlfriend knows I just am not attracted to her or really feminine girls ( she has a girlfriend that is also very tomyboyish and loves her to death) but what happened was her and I were hanging out just watching youtube videos in bed drunk and eventually i turned over to go to sleep and just like most girl sleepovers you cuddle with your friends so we were, and I was falling asleep until she touched me and mind you it was over my outfit and i didnt touch her and she didnt even touch me wear my lady parts are really because when your drunk you just don't have good coordiation and I mean I just remember feeling her do that and I was like zoning in and out and knowing like this isn't right and it got to the point maybe like 30 seconds to a minute wear my mind is just like in this zone like where is my girlfriend this is not right and i remember just stopping and saying i have to go get a drink and she followed me and freaked out and was like omg we cheated and we are drunk just like freaking out and she said you can't say anything we wont say anything to our girlfriends but i had to and the next day i did and i guess i went to my girlfriend drunk that night saying i wanted the girl to go home and i didnt like her and my girlfriend is telling me its not that big of a deal but to me it is because no matter how much i didnt want that i was drunk and couldn't stop it immediately when i did so i guess this is me feeling so guilty and thinking about it everyday and having anxiety attacks and replaying it in my head and just trying to figure out how and why. I love her to death and we have a little girl and its just like what do i do to cope and stop beating and tearing myself up about it, it really was nothing and i don't even have any feelings or attraction to that girl but it is ruining me because she is my life and i love her to death and i keep seeing post about if you cheat you guys will breakup, or you don't love her but it wasn't even that i wanted to it was more like my mind wasn't there. I need help because I'm freaking out
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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well... doing things we regret while drunk is pretty common.

in my experience, cheating is best dealt with by honest communication, making amends, reinforcing one's love and commitment to the other....

also just FYI - this is a lot less likely to happen in sobriety.
~ Life!! It's WAY too good to drink to! ~
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:31 PM   #3 (permalink)

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That is why i'm not drinking anymore. I wasn't even attracted to her which was so weird and didn't want to even be touched it just was like my mind went to jello
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Old 12-04-2015, 04:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome to the Forum ldongoske!! You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
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Old 12-04-2015, 05:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi ldongoske

your post was pretty hard for me to follow but if I read right your gf thinks it's no big deal?

That's pretty lucky for you, but it means you should stop beating yourself up over and over.

You're taking the remedial step of not drinking gain. That's great.
Maybe talk a little more with your partner too and explain how badly you feel?

You can deal with that guilt and all that other stuff by not drinking again. Put a little time between you and this drunken night and you'll feel a lot better,

glad to have you with us

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Old 12-04-2015, 05:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I agree with what Dee said. You told your girlfriend what happened and she wasn't upset. However, you feel bad for the behavior that resulted from your drinking. So, stopping drinking seems like a really good idea.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
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Old 12-05-2015, 04:58 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Sounds you got lucky this time with no long term damage to others.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease and next time it could get a lot worse. I think you sense that which is why you are here. Welcome. SR is a great resource.
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Old 12-05-2015, 06:27 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome Idongoske
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Old 12-05-2015, 07:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
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one of the highlights of sobriety

Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post

well... doing things we regret while drunk is pretty common.
I agree, the wreckage of my past is heavy regarding this matter.
We do notice quickly -- that if we stay sober
we do not do as many stupid things that we will regret later.
I consider this to be one of the highlights of sobriety.
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Old 12-05-2015, 08:37 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree with others, the story is kinda hard to follow but I think I get that your gf is not upset? If so move on since it is in the past now.

Now about yourself, you seem unhappy that this happened and tied it directly to your drinking. I as well as others have done many regrettable things drunk and the solution is right in front of all of us.
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advice , cheated , cheater , drunk

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