Hi ldongoske
your post was pretty hard for me to follow but if I read right your gf thinks it's no big deal?
That's pretty lucky for you, but it means you should stop beating yourself up over and over.
You're taking the remedial step of not drinking gain. That's great.
Maybe talk a little more with your partner too and explain how badly you feel?
You can deal with that guilt and all that other stuff by not drinking again. Put a little time between you and this drunken night and you'll feel a lot better,
glad to have you with us
D