Notices

Forever an alcoholic?

Old 11-19-2015, 02:33 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 11-19-2015, 10:05 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Sirogk View Post
Hi all,
I started drinking when I was 14 and really haven't stopped since. Bouts of sobriety have hit my life but so have the bouts of extreme depression and attempts at suicide.

I have recently started to see someone who I thought would help me but when it comes to the crunch and the hard times she ran a mile, making it out as if I was the one creating issues. I am an alcoholic, meaning I am manipulative, a liar, a thief, and extremely clever when it comes to wanting a drink - I get what I want in the end.

The truth is this is not what I want but it is what I have been doing for the last 32 years...and I am good at it! I am not proud of it, it has just developed as my way of life.

It looks as if no one can help me, I have tried every avenue...re-hab, lock-down, all keys/money taken away from me..., somehow i still get the stuff when I think I need it. It is such a powerful mind and one that i cannot take over on my own, however, everytime I see someone they underestimate my "alcoholic" will and end up leaving my care.

I hope someone here can understand my dilemma and give me some tips on how to live a life without the "alcoholic" mind.

Thanks!

K
You're so right about learning to live without that alcoholic mind-set. AA and the 12-steps was what helped me change my perspective. It's amazing how an altered perspective is such a life-changer.

Take care.

PS It was never her (or anyone elses') place to 'help' you. How could she??!! If she didn't help you it was because she couldn't, not because she didn't care about you. We can't patch a problem with a person. It has to come from within.
Berrybean is offline  
Old 11-20-2015, 04:54 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post
Have you tried treating YOU.... I mean, have YOU tried helping YOU?

By that I mean.... your words seem to imply you're hoping someone will come to your aid and somehow 'help you'. Rescue you? If I'm misunderstanding, then my apologies.

But what arises for me when I read your words is whether you have really dug in on the pieces of YOU that underpin your alcoholism and your use of booze. All those things you say you don't want to be - manipulative, a liar, a theif... etc. THOSE things need your focus and those things are where YOU need to help yourself.

The 12 steps of AA are a great place to start. REALLY working those steps makes a difference. A good therapist - for me - was absolutely essential to addressing my self issues that were behind a lot of the same behaviors.

Exercise, changing our habits and rituals, trying new hobbies, making changes to where we hang out, ACTIONS to change ourselves.... these are essential to making the "not drinking" part stick.

Just NOT DRINKING isn't enough. Not drinking gives us the space to start doing the work that will enable us to KEEP not drinking.

I second what FreeOwl has said. You've had a pretty good stint of not drinking at 4 months, so you know its possible. I will openly admit, I am not drinking, but I don't believe I've crossed over into living in sobriety as of yet. But I'll take it as it comes and right now, not drinking is working.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 11-20-2015, 05:35 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Something that I had to learn a long time ago is that no one can help me. No one can complete me. No one can give me that feeling of myself that I am missing. I realized a few years ago that this need for fulfillment and fixing is one of the major reasons for my drinking. I look to external things (people, places, substances, activities) to 'fill' the empty tank inside me. But nothing outside of me can accomplish what is an inside job. My sense of myself comes from self acceptance and love. And that starts with putting the bottle down.
entropy1964 is offline  
Old 11-20-2015, 01:59 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,745
how's it going sirogk?

D
Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:30 PM.