wehav2day

Like others have said, many of us have flashbacks. I just went through a nasty bout of them, myself. You know what I learned? You can conquer them sober. You really can.

If you drink because of flashbacks, they are just sitting there waiting in the wings. The moment you sober up, they can hit. Drink again, they hover again. Drink, fear, repeat.

That's no way to live.

You can do this. Stop drinking so your meds can work. Talk to a pro. Talk to us too. When it gets bad, repeat to yourself that it will get better. Because it will. It always gets better. Your addiction will tell you that it won't.

Your addiction lies for a living.

I started a thread when my flashbacks got bad. bumped it in case it might help you. Good luck, friend.

Anna

Hi Blueberry, I know how overwhelming the thought of dealing with all the stuff feels. It's something that kept me drinking for quite awhile after I decided I wanted to stop. The thing is, you can get through those things, slowly but surely. I believe it's the nature of the disease to make us believe we cannot.

blueberry2015

They scare the **** out of me, 3 months in my head was just all over the place, i didnt know who I was, how I was feeling i cant explain it, its like my mental health just crashed. Just angry, my head wouldnt stop racing, flashing images through my mind, anxiety kicked in again. They up my meds and boom nightmares and flashbacks of abuse as a child. It was sickening, physchriatic nurse said it could of been triggered by the increase of meds, but needed to give them a chance to kick in. But what did I do I drank to block it all out. Im not making excuses that I wanted to drink, the truth is I wanted to forget and thats the only way i know how to cope. Ptsd is awful, its a living hell. Anyways I stayed sober last night, my head feels like its running about 1000mph at the moment. I havent had a too bad a nights sleep, got night sweats which is to be expected, but not too bad. I dont know how to shut my head up, i just want to feel normal. To be honest I am scared. I dont want to crash and burn like I did before. Getting sober isnt just about not drinking, its bloody hard dealing with MH issues too. Working on day 2. I just want to get better.

Dee74

Many of our members have to deal with mental illness too blueberry - whatever the answer is, I'm confident it's not in a bottle of booze.

there's a lot of support here

D

Soberwolf

Hang in there Blue I suffer with mental illness a lot of ppl think it's depression or anxiety I & my Dr are realising it might not be that

Keep going to Dr apts

doggonecarl

The mental health issues can be dealt with better sober than when drinking. For all the mental torture, if you get through this and don't relapse, you never have to go through it again. Think what a blessing that would be.

zombob

I feel ya Blu! Legal, health and some MH issues are all I do now but I know drinking will just set me back further. This storm will pass. Maybe later than sooner but I'm riding it out. You can too.

FreeOwl

Drinking always 'seems an easier option' when we're stuck in active alcoholism / addiction. But it's a lie.

If you want to quit badly - it might help if you focus less on 'quitting' and more on 'starting'.

"Actions for Starting"

Start going to AA or SMART or some other in-person, group setting to connect with supportive others who are also committed to living life in sobriety and fullness.

Start creating new habits - with your eating, your exercise, your daily routine - that support living sober.

Start talking to someone qualified - on an individual basis - to help you work through emotions and cope with life in healthy ways.

Start making a list of new things you might like to try in life... and try them.

Start journaling - about gratitude, about self-awareness, about nature, about friendship, about love, about anything at all.

Start meditating.... two minutes a day... five... ten.... fifty... whatever works for you, but start it.

Start being aware of your internal dialogue and recognizing the voice that is really the inner you, your truth. Learn to recognize the voice that is NOT the inner you, NOT your truth.... the voice of your addiction. Start listening to that first voice... Start telling that other voice it's not in charge anymore.

Start reading the Big Book

Start reading ANY books. Just in general, start reading more.

Start smiling. Even when you don't feel like it. Especially then. Start smiling at strangers. Start offering a smile to the world.

Start going to watch sunrises.

Start going to watch sunsets.

Start gazing deeply into the starry void of the night sky.

Start calling people you love but haven't spoken with in a long time, just to say "HI!!"

Start making goals

Start picking up loose ends.... around the house, with your personal affairs, in the dark corners of your emotional dwelling.

Start a martial art

Start learning to play an instrument

Start singing

Start LIVING YOUR LIFE in absolutely every way you can find APART from drinking or drugging.....

Sometimes, the best way to stop, is to start.

blueberry2015

Thank you this is really inspiring