blueberry2015

After three months sober I fell into my old ways Im scared to get sober again as the flashbacks I get about my past can get pretty horrible. Sometimes I think im better of drinking, but I can see what it is doing to me, the shakes of a morning, the hangovers. Im scared in two ways a)if i continue to drink I will kill myself and b) if I get sober then I gotta deal with a whole load of issues.... first three months were fab I was soo detirmined and happy but then I fell im scared to get myself back up again because of the mental torment. Im due to see a psycharist 1st Dec. I want to quit badly, but drinking is what seems an easier option. I really dont want to be in my own head alone.

blueberry2015

Im thinking about rehab, ive not yet had an eyeopener to keep the shakes away but the urge is there. I need to detox and start again, cant believe I fell over a person who clearly doesnt care

letitgo

Just hop back on. Detours happen dont get permanently derailed.

letitgo

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1iAYhQsQhSY

This song is everywhere but reminds me why not to drink

zombob

All that self talk Ian not you....it's your addiction fighting for your life...don't give it what it want s... give yourself a gift of 24hrs....then repeat...daily.

letitgo

You cant blame your relapse on anyone but yourself. You drank because you wanted to drink ......accept and start moving on again. You can do it. You had 3 months

GroundhogDay

It sound like you don't know how to deal with your issues sober. Either the psychiatrist or rehab (I would ask the psychiatrist about rehab) should be able to help you with coping skills and resolution of the issues you have been avoiding while drinking.

JD

So why did you write this "first three months were fab"? You can do this.

Saskia

Yes you can do this! You are not alone having bad stuff come up after being sober for awhile. Blotting it all out is not a good option as you know. If it were me, I would do the following (in order):

Get sober asap!
See pdoc and find out what he/she recommends
Stay sober and follow recommendations. Unless pdoc thinks rehab is a bad idea, I'd say go for it.

You can't work on your issues when you are drinking - it won't stick. I know that bad memories are rough - you can deal with them, as scary as it may seem. I think you'd be surprised how many alcoholics have trauma history.

SoberLeigh

I hope that you don't let your past define your future, blueberry. Work through the past with your psychiatrist or therapist.

One of the really great things about sobriety is that each sober day soon becomes the past - thus, with each sober you are creating a past of which you can be proud.

Start again; recommit to sobriety, blueberry.

You can do this!!!!

Soberwolf

You can do this Blueberry

Dee74

That's an addictive rationalisation.

Flashbacks are horrible but there is help available and many many avenues of treatment, all of them far better than hit or miss self medication with booze

It is hard to make the transition from drinker to sober person to recovery but I believe you can do it - and you're certainly not alone here

I know it's scary - but don;t let that AV blind you with BS - drinking solves nothing - it just makes everything that much worse.

D

blueberry2015

The flashbacks kicked in my mental health went ga ga hence why i was referred to a shrink and plus my best friend just binned me when i needed them the most

blueberry2015

Ok, my doctor upped my medication as i was just all over the place, i havent really given it time to work. I need to stop drinking. I know i can do it. Ive a lot more support this time if flashbacks kick in i can call the crisis line instead.

Ok. Lets do day one.

Meraviglioso

Yes, let's do day one. You can do this. Drinking does nothing to help your past issues, it just temporarily blocks them. Until you start to work through them with a trained professional you it will always be there to haunt you. The thing is you cannot fully work through the issues if you are not sober. Get sober, get well and get on with a better life!

Soberwolf

Flashbacks are really horrible stressful and can mess anyone's day up it was thanks to Dee74 that I finally seeked help I've had a bad history with Dr's in general but since getting good advice & realising I don't have to be ashamed or suffer in silence because I have a imbalance

They changed my meds for the second time yesterday as I was getting bad migraines as a side effect & I'm currently doing CBT for anxiety & depression but I think my problems are more than depression & anxiety

Wishing you the best for today

Carver

Hey Blueberry,

One thing I know for sure about any kind of psychiatric meds is, they don't work with alcohol in your system.

You can do this. Being sober suits you - you're one of the ones who kept inspiring me to stay sober

Saskia

Good! Yes, you can do this.

Anyone who hasn't had flashbacks can't really imagine what it is like. I'm happy to hear you have a lot more support and if that's not enough, I hope you will consider rehab, whether inpatient or outpatient.

Have you discussed your drinking with your doctor? Drinking interferes with many meds that treat our kinds of symptoms. My pdoc was a huge help when I finally disclosed my drinking to him.

SereneEdition

You mentioned rehab. Is this a possibility for you?

entropy1964

I have PTSD too Blueberry (I think you have PTSD....). Did the flashbacks resume before or after you started drinking again? Alcohol, at least for me, magnifies my symptoms. The only way to truly manage this stuff long term is to cut out the booze altogether. I don't take any kind of meds long term because they simply don't work. When I'm in an episode I pretty much have to be hospitalized. I know there are drugs for nightmares and stuff like that but I opted out. Have you tried EMDR therapy?