MythOfSisyphus

I was really irritable and cranky for maybe the first six months of sobriety. Hang in there, it does get better. It's hard to say about your GF. Maybe you're taking out your frustrations on her. On the other hand, maybe you getting sober has taken about the power that she felt she had when you were always drunk. Perhaps she doesn't like your newfound sense of control. Again, I dunno...hard to guess without knowing the situation.

Soberwolf

Wishing you a good day today Stewy

Stewy84

Thanks guys, I'm not drinking, no way. I have to hold on to that and work out a way to start feeling better. There must be a gap somewhere, perhaps it's because I've been off work this week and had too much time to think

ccam1973

Stewy, great job on not drinking. Maybe you're thinking and trying to analyze everything a bit too much. I get trying to figure out how to make your life better, but it seems you mind is constantly analyzing... there's a gap somewhere, why does your GF think you're an a..hole, why is my kid bored, why do I get locked into certain elements in my life, am I a dry drunk...

I think you need to give your mind a rest. We are who we are. Try going with that for a while. It took me a long time to quit trying to please everybody and do what I wanted at times. It is not selfish to have some time set just for you.

On your kid being bored, that what kids do. Their attention span is so limited, they get bored often. Now that I'm sober, I feel I am a great dad, I do everything I can with my kids... but they get bored every time we sit still. Just do the best you can.

Anyway, just a thought. Fantastic job on not drinking. Bottom line, drinking will never solve any of your questions or anxiety. Glad you realize that. Stay strong, we are in your corner!

Stewy84

Thanks for this ccam1973

Things have just flared up between me and her again today. This is dreadful, she's not around at all for my daughter. To the point where she's gone out and I've asked my neighbour to put Halloween makeup on my daughter

Stewy84

I'm so frustrated with it. No matter how many talks, conversations or heart to hearts I have with her, she's never going to get it.

I came with a daughter and that's how it is. She knew that at the start

thomas11

Stewy, you sought out this website, joined and posted for a reason. You may think drinking some beer would make things a little better. But you know the truth. Please don't do it buddy. Take a stand, be strong.

Soberwolf

I'm really sorry she is going on like this Stewy

Stewy84

Just had another blazing row

Soberwolf

Are you going trick or treating with your daughter ?

Try to ignore it Stewy were with you bud

Stewy84

I've just dropped her off. I need a drink

Berrybean

No. You don't. Then you'd just be drunk; ashamed of yourself; and have all the same problems.

FreeOwl

no, you don't.

that's an impulse, it won't help, and you know it's not true.

Go get some exercise or take a walk in nature.

Brauggi

Drinking never really helps anything, it just puts things off for a very brief time (usually our issues come back, compounded with interest from our time spent drinking.) Think about what the worst case scenario could be when you're sober and think about what the worst case scenario could be when you drink, you know drinking won't help you solve anything in your relationship.

trachemys

You have a TV obsession? You mean like some have with Netflix? At least football is live life.

You exercise three times a week? You eat healthy, and monitor your own wellness?

OCD? Are you shitting me? You're living a responsible life.

Teenagers are always bored. Help her find a rewarding pastime.

The girlfriend doesn't like you and doesn't like your daughter. "To the curb" would be my reaction. Just bein' honest.

Stay away from the bottle, buddy.

thomas11

No you don't. You want a drink. And you know the difference. Hang with us Stewy.

EndGameNYC

Your life, as currently described by you, is screaming out for an extensive overhaul. Despair and negation are only a means of putting off what is necessary.

Both indecision and impulsive action can destroy lives. But chronic indecisiveness and a failure to take actions on our own behalf is a guarantee that things will only get worse.

You may not be in a position to improve your life at the present moment, but there doesn't seem to be anything stopping you from making a plan.

Jsbodhi

Hey Stewy, you sound like my ex boyfriend
He was in the military, then a personal trainer and the eldest of 6 siblings, he was so controlling,
Only healthy organic meals every day, for " fun" he had me sprinting up a near vertical hill.....
he didn't even realize what he was doing, he was driving me out of my mind hahaha!
I made him sleep in the other room and wouldn't have sex with him anymore; he would boss me around all day, make me feel guilty for eating a cupcake- as if I was going to sleep with him!!!!
Oh man.
We broke up because I'm really free spirited.
The thing is, he's my best friend still, we've been broken up 3 years now and I adore him more than I can say, when I see his contact showing up on my phone as he calls I feel totally delighted
We're not together and not in love, but he's amazing and we think the world of each other, its just that its a friendship now rather than a relationship.
Best wishes!

Stewy84

I didn't drink

zombob

Uh...stewy...take it from someone who just returned from that side of the fence---the grass is not greener. In my sober stints of the past I have been called an a-h-le by my wife and my kids are always bored. As a drunk I'm still an a-hole (wife still drinks and misses her drinking buddy) and the kids are still bored despite having every electronic device known and plenty of friends. We are more adult and responsible sober and the kids who knew us drunk don't like that part but being a good parent doesn't get applause from the kids till many years later--Oh, and if your partner is a kid..well...you may just have to let her play with other kids. I may well be making that choice soon myself. I'm comfortable sober, quiet and doing the right things and will not budge from my stand ever again. Peace bro.