Aellyce

Thanks everyone for the interesting shares. I actually used to love the summer when I was younger and did not like the winter. Wondered if my drinking changed this and whether my old preference would come back sober. But it's now the second year and I feel the same way about the seasons so I guess it's a more persistent change. There is actually nothing about spring and summer that I can point to, something that bothers me, other than too much heat and humidity in the summer where I live now. I also enjoy being out, walking a lot, etc. So I am not sure, maybe it's just physiological thing that my body senses and not a conscious preference primarily (but it clearly turned into that). Perhaps I conditioned my brain with the drinking lifestyle and being a hermit at times (spring and summer) that people often associate with renewal, fun and freedom... I also don't associate fall or winter with death or dying metaphorically or based on experiences, I feel about it more as a time or change and reflection -- both of which I like a lot (maybe that's why I make these subjective associations and feelings with a time of year). Thinking back, I also always moved to new places in fall and winter, and I always enjoyed the move and starting something brand new very much, so perhaps these memories influence my preferences unconsciously... or maybe the other way around, I moved and made changes in fall and winter because those are naturally the periods when I feel most up to it. I even got sober in the winter and it wasn't actually a time when I felt most depressed or desperate, it was more that I gathered the motivation to do it.

My motivation tends to be higher in the fall and winter in general. I guess right now I am also especially excited because I'm starting new school this fall... a kind of training I have wanted to do since my teens. I don't recall feeling this excited about school in my life even though learning has always been one of my favorite activities (learning stuff I am interested in, not what I am forced to). Anyhow, time to take advantage of this natural "high" I guess

Justincredible

I am a spring/summer man 100%. I am starting to feel the anticipation of a long winter and in my experience the anticipation is worse than the actual event (in most cases for me with everything), so winter is actually not as bad as fall. I'm really trying to keep an open mind with fall this year, maybe that will change my feelings towards it. Otherwise I just carry on feeling this little nagging depression/anxiety. Being sober and back in school is great though, I also love to learn and with maturity and sobriety I am finding it a very natural and fulfilling process!

Great thread to start my day Aellyce!

LBrain

I view the change of seasons as a new opportunity every year.
I like them all. But as I age, I am losing my interest in clearing snow and dealing with it around the house/property. And I could spend less time in freezing temps. The 'long hot days' of summer are getting to be a drag too.
The land of eternal spring is sounding good right now though.

But I do enjoy the change of seasons - every one. It's like a rebirth every three or four months to me.

I think attitude is everything.

LilyMarie

I love the sun and warm weather of summer, but autumn and winter are most certainly my favorites. I hate being cold, but I love nothing more than lighting candles and curling up with sweaters and blankets and hot tea and just spend a whole day reading books.

CaseyW

I live in West Texas where we don't really have seasons. Lots of summer, a little winter, and not much at all in the way of spring or fall. So I don't know that I really have a season. I'll have to think on it.

Aellyce

I could have written this!
Yes I think a lot of it is about seasonal activities, what the seasons offer to us. For example, my love of summer in the past was largely related to my love of going to the public pool or beaches for sunning, swimming, being almost naked and looking at people in the same state (or not even almost as I liked nude beaches). I did these things all the time when I was a kid and younger, but somehow have lost my interest in it gradually as I grew older (again, I think the drinking played a part as I isolated a lot as a drunk and became definitely less comfortable with my body).

On the anticipation (Justin's post)... yeah I have that pattern, too. I think it's part of the anxiety I am prone to. As a sober person now and younger though, I generally love change, new things, the unknown and taking sensible risks, so the change of seasons is also interesting as a change per se even when it's turning into spring or summer.

Bringing all this into the context of the main purpose of this forum (getting and staying sober), I am thinking that for those of us who have strong preferences for specific seasons, it's probably a good idea to be especially mindful and equipped when our less preferred season arrives every year.

Justincredible

A great take-away from this thread! Maybe my specific reasons for my ideas of specific seasons will change as I grow in sobriety and I will learn to enjoy them all! Thats my hope, as I'm sure many more new things will happen on my sobriety journey, as they have been.

biminiblue

I used to suffer a lot from Seasonal Affective Disorder in the winter. Even throughout my 18 years of prior sobriety, I had a really hard time in the winter here in the northern corner of the U.S. I have adverse reactions to SSRIs and can't take them, so I would just tough it out every year. Well, I would sleep through most of it.

The thing that was a game changer for me was/is Vitamin D. It finally lifted a 25 year long daily winter depression and made it possible for me to do other things beyond just survive the winter. Now I eat well and exercise too - which I know helps a lot, but that wouldn't have been possible without the Vit D. I just didn't want to do anything, and it made me feel better to eat junk food, so that's what I had been doing. Vit D made a huge difference. My yearly exam blood tests never tagged me as being low in Vit D, but I'm not sure they specifically test for it either. Since I found that there is a really high upper UL, I started treating myself with 2000IU daily. Within weeks, I noticed a marked improvement. After I got my nutrition dialed in, I went back down to 1000IU daily. I've been supplementing for six years now. Best thing ever.

Aellyce

Interesting about the vitamin D, bimini. I also experimented with nutritional supplements to improve my mood and general well-being quite a bit. The one that did not turn out so well in sobriety was with timed release vitamin B complex. This is something that is always recommended to alcoholics in early sobriety, so I took it for a while, and later on and off. I found that taking it regularly really increases my anxiety levels and makes my mind hyper in ways that it becomes really hard to focus on tasks and I lose control over my racing thoughts. When this was happening, I had no idea it was related to the vit B -- I actually blamed it on everything from work to therapy to even SR Then one day it occurred to me that vit B complex is something many people take as a sort of energy boost... it has stimulant effect on the nervous system. I started reading up on it, and found many reports from people similar to what I was experiencing. Stopped it, and in two days I was perfectly fine and that state never came back. It may be that I overdosed it (even though the upper limit is pretty high for this also) as I already take a regular multivitamin daily that has more than required amount of the B's.
We alkies are definitely "good" at self-medicating

Rar

I also live in a northern corner of the US and think that I, too, suffer from SAD in the winter. As far as I know, routine blood work doesn't specifically test for Vitamin D levels, but it's likely we have a deficiency in the winter. I am in the sun enough in the summer and feel better.

Rar

I'm a summer person. I am more relaxed when it's sunny and warm. However, I have more energy in the spring and fall. Though winter can be beautiful here, I absolutely hate winter and being cold.

KAD

It's Spring and early Autumn for me. I do not like Winter. The dark, cold, damp weather tends to make me very depressed. This will be the first sober Winter in quite some time. I am determined to make it so!