Can you recover, and keep it a secret?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I have told very few people that I'm "in recovery" or any real background on my reasons for not drinking.
But - I do not keep it a secret that I don't drink.
I guess I've tried that several times.... just sort of "half-a**ing it", by telling MYSELF I was quitting but offering everyone outside of my head only vague and temporary excuses.
I later discovered that was really just a tactic.... it was allowing me to try to convince myself I was actually going to quit - when I knew full well I wasn't. It was my inner addict negotiating to outsmart the inner Me who wanted to be free of my inner addict.
I think secrecy with regard to a decision to not drinking is akin to lying. It's a loophole. It's an open door back to addiction at best, a thinly-veiled attempt to convince ourselves we're quitting while we know we're not at worst.
The sooner you're able to feel comfortable and confident saying "No thanks, I don't drink" - the sooner and more deeply your sobriety will be successful.
But - I do not keep it a secret that I don't drink.
I guess I've tried that several times.... just sort of "half-a**ing it", by telling MYSELF I was quitting but offering everyone outside of my head only vague and temporary excuses.
I later discovered that was really just a tactic.... it was allowing me to try to convince myself I was actually going to quit - when I knew full well I wasn't. It was my inner addict negotiating to outsmart the inner Me who wanted to be free of my inner addict.
I think secrecy with regard to a decision to not drinking is akin to lying. It's a loophole. It's an open door back to addiction at best, a thinly-veiled attempt to convince ourselves we're quitting while we know we're not at worst.
The sooner you're able to feel comfortable and confident saying "No thanks, I don't drink" - the sooner and more deeply your sobriety will be successful.
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