Drinking or cutting???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Hi guy's thank you all. Yeah bit frustrated this week as I managed to catch a break for a few days from the chronic insomnia, and then it starts over again…
I'l answer that. I ended up in inpatient in my early 20's because I was suffering hard with clinical depression/insomnia/c-ptsd for a couple of years and was drinking myself to sleep every night which as we now know is a really bad idea. All I wanted was medication, which I knew nothing about apart from terms like 'sleeping' tablets and 'anti' depressants…
So while I was there, and I appreciate it now but I really didn't at the time because I just wanted the medication and to be left alone as I had a peaceful living environment get up for myself but no peace of mind obviously - they were like, we want to treat the underlying causes not your symptoms. Again I'l say it, I really respect that now but at the time I did not because, I didn't know wtf they were talking about, you know? And I was totally P'd off at having been refused any medication already up to that point (again for the third time I now understand and appreciate the logic behind it but I didn't at the time).
So now I am in my early 30's and it's a complete reversal pretty much. I'm quite sure I could get some type of medication if I wanted to. I tried one before and it made me twice as worse with my insomnia, upright in bed and I had a voice in my head telling me 'kill yourself' over and over which was a direct result of the medication because it was never like that before. So naturally I stopped taking it, started reading up about pharmaceuticals then in detail and to cut a long story short, the very thought of being on them does indeed now make me miserable.
But as you have said and as I have already stated was suspected or known by my carers there are indeed underlying causes. I had no idea before, not consciously but now I don't even think, I know. The reason those issues aren't resolved? Not because I'm not capable but because I have been unable to break free from my FOO which is something I've been trying to do for almost 20 years. Now I have a kid in the middle of it, a really good kid at that so my mind is completely torn. I can't figure it out at all.
Originally Posted by thomas11 
Strat, please accept my stupid question: If understand you correctly, you have some issues, you know you have these issues, there are underlying causes (you think) that contribute to this. You have tried and tried to get help, and you can't? Am I seeing this correctly?
Do you take medication? I only ask because I know medication changes lives, for me, it did for the better. But I also know it has made people miserable.
Do you take medication? I only ask because I know medication changes lives, for me, it did for the better. But I also know it has made people miserable.
So while I was there, and I appreciate it now but I really didn't at the time because I just wanted the medication and to be left alone as I had a peaceful living environment get up for myself but no peace of mind obviously - they were like, we want to treat the underlying causes not your symptoms. Again I'l say it, I really respect that now but at the time I did not because, I didn't know wtf they were talking about, you know? And I was totally P'd off at having been refused any medication already up to that point (again for the third time I now understand and appreciate the logic behind it but I didn't at the time).
So now I am in my early 30's and it's a complete reversal pretty much. I'm quite sure I could get some type of medication if I wanted to. I tried one before and it made me twice as worse with my insomnia, upright in bed and I had a voice in my head telling me 'kill yourself' over and over which was a direct result of the medication because it was never like that before. So naturally I stopped taking it, started reading up about pharmaceuticals then in detail and to cut a long story short, the very thought of being on them does indeed now make me miserable.
But as you have said and as I have already stated was suspected or known by my carers there are indeed underlying causes. I had no idea before, not consciously but now I don't even think, I know. The reason those issues aren't resolved? Not because I'm not capable but because I have been unable to break free from my FOO which is something I've been trying to do for almost 20 years. Now I have a kid in the middle of it, a really good kid at that so my mind is completely torn. I can't figure it out at all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
