thomas11

Hi Dunkelheit, disregard my question about age, I jumped the gun. It sounds like you've got the drinkin' thing pretty bad. Your situation is in reverse of what normally happens, its the party person who graduates to pickling themselves at home, instead of the home drinking progressing to socializing. You know as well as the rest of us its just a matter of time before you are out at a bar, show, or house party and something bad is going to happen as a result of your being drunk. You're 26 man, and already know what's going on. Consider yourself lucky. Don't meander through life drunk until you are 66 and then wonder what the f*ck happened? I like SixStringZen's analogy. Its spot on.

Elodie

When I was 26, the thought of quitting drinking horrified me. It would have felt like a death sentence if someone told me I could never drink again.

I'm 35 now and sober for almost a year. I'm really proud of myself and much happier, more at peace with myself, but one thing I really regret and mourn for is all the TIME I wasted. If I could go back to when I was 26 and make different choices, I would. I'd love to go back in time.

So consider me your version of The Ghost of Dunkelheit Yet to Come. Don't cut down, just quit. Save yourself the pain that awaits you.

nymets86

I'm a similar age to you and now alcohol-free for 135 of the last 136 days. I've gone to two weddings, a bachelor party, several sporting events, several work happy hours, two birthday parties and a comedy show during that time, all while sober.

Not drinking does not equal no fun. While going out to night clubs is probably off the table, everything else I used to do I can do while sober.

I think you are setting yourself up for failure. As Dee said, the embarrassment will likely become too much as you blackout and have no idea what you did at the party. Then you'll possibly wind up drinking at home alone again.

In the first few weeks of sobriety, I'd avoid all social events where you know alcohol will be involved. Then as you ease back in, have a game plan. If someone asks if you want a drink, be ready to say "no thanks" and if you need to, maybe an excuse like "I'm trying to lose weight," "I have to be up early tomorrow," "I'm on antibiotics," etc. Then stick to sparking water, cola, etc. Believe me, people won't care what you are drinking. The only people that will even notice are probably the other alcoholics looking for company (I know in my drinking prime, I'd try to pressure people to drink booze that I saw having a non-alcoholic beverage).

I promise you the next morning will be a thousand times better. You can go for a jog or a long walk rather than deal with a crippling hangover and racing thoughts about what you might have said or done.

lillyknitting

Only if you want to totally abstain.

sva777

I went from social drinker to at home drinker to both at the same time. I tried to control it all until I eventually found it easiest to just stop.

Now it wasn't easy stopping but I was going so far downhill I had to make a choice or lose everything. 6 months sober now in 5 days and I feel great.

PurpleKnight

Is this still fun?? . . . because this doesn't sound like much fun:

For me alcohol seemed to create "fun" only in the short term, and then as things progressed I crossed the line from wanting to needing a drink every single day, it began to control me, it's all I thought about, and as the volumes increased and the hangovers got worse causing more and more misery, alcohol stopped doing me any favours eventually.

It can all start TODAY, no more alcohol, pour whatever you have out, call off the plans for tonight and make a very real change in your life, and stop kidding yourself that this is still fun!!

dunkelheit

This is self-imposed. I hit rock bottom, so I said I would not buy booze at the liquor store anymore.

Elizabeth333

Since you come back here - I suspect you do want to give up the booze. It will ruin and kill you, if you continue. There is help.

dunkelheit

Yeah, I feel as though I wasted a year of my life, and I lost the love of my life due to alcohol. So now I'm just stuck in this day-by-day revenge-type attitude. Like, I'm going to get back at my ex by partying a lot, while he sits at home playing video games. We still live together, so it's really hostile and awkward at home. A part of me wants to get back together, but another part wants to destroy him by making him jealous.

dunkelheit

Well when I was in the relationship, we never did anything. Every weekend was just sitting around at home. Going out more now is a treat. I love it. I'm just an alcoholic, so I end up drinking. I have to quit by Sunday though, because my classes start Monday.

sva777

This sounds like a rough situation.

CaseyW

There is a better life waiting for you in recovery from your addiction. I hope you'll give sobriety a chance soon.

dunkelheit

Thanks a lot guys. I just hope I can quit completely by next Friday and that this non-stop partying doesn't ruin my grades (I'm an A student). I dunno, when I was drinking 750mL of vodka a night, I still got A's, and I'm a scientist. I think that made me cocky though, like if I can drink nearly a liter of vodka every day and still get better marks than everyone, then I must be really smart.

Well apparently I'm not smart, because I'm an addict now for the rest of my life. Things are looking up though. I have a pretty bright future ahead if I can quit the daily drinking.

emme99

I agree with Elodie. I started drinking at 21 and don't know when exactly it became a problem but I know it's been a problem for many years. I am 43. What I wouldn't give to be 26 again and have a chance to stop it before I lost 20 years of my life. You are lucky in that you recognize you have a problem and can do something about it now if you so choose. I hope you make that choice.

PurpleKnight

What's your plan to quit?

For me hoping and good intentions never got me too far, because my addiction would end up selling me all the fairytales it could on why drinking was still a good idea, instead I needed a plan, a change of routine, a change of habits and an acceptance that alcohol was doing me no favours!!

Why not stop TODAY, why go another week of feeling awful each morning, knowing that alcohol is causing you misery and put yourself through all of that?!!

By the time Monday comes you'll have a week of Sobriety under your belt and I can guarantee you'll feel better for it rather than stopping next weekend at the 11th hour and going into classes the next day on Monday morning!!

thomas11

hmmm, perfect recipe for un-happy ending. Young, recent break-up, confused a bit, and battling an unhealthy habit. If its a phase, so be it, but if it becomes your life, its not going to be fun. Prioritize a list, and tackle them one at a time. I can't imagine how difficult it must be living under the same roof as someone you recently broke up with, and want to get back together with.

I can say this with certainty, trying to get back at him by destroying yourself is madness. And you know it too.

Soberwolf

Hi Dunkelheit I commend you on your self imposed ban you remind me of me A LOT

Im really glad your here posting & heres a link to help you writing up a plan http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Meetings will really help with understanding knowledge & support there is 12 step there is secular

SR is here 24/7 keep reading keep posting

dunkelheit

I know! Even today he was so angry with me, he threatened to kick me out. Every day is a struggle. I just want to be happy again.

MelindaFlowers

I wanted to second this. I stopped at 32. I really wish I stopped at 26 and had those six years back.

dunkelheit

Good, stay sober. Every day is misery for me. When I got back from the party last night, my mom was at the apartment for an intervention, saying I have to do rehab after my classes end. I don't even know how long she was waiting there. I tried to call off the party tonight, but my friend's in pretty bad shape. Don't know what to do.