Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Okay, so I went from an at-home drinker to a "social drinker".

Blogs


Notices

Okay, so I went from an at-home drinker to a "social drinker".

Old 07-04-2015, 03:44 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Blog Entries: 1
Okay, so I went from an at-home drinker to a "social drinker".

But now I'm going out every night, from party, to show, to bar. Last night I woke up at 8PM and was still too intoxicated to get to the next party.

My goal was to stop buying alcohol from liquor stores and drinking alone, but now I'm going out to bars every night, or house parties. Tonight I'm going out to get trashed with an old friend.

I think I started doing this because my drinking made me lose my fiance of 4 years. I got really depressed, but I said I wouldn't drink at home anymore. And I don't, I get completely drunk in bars and stuff.

Should I just go to some kind of secular AA meeting?
dunkelheit is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to dunkelheit For This Useful Post:
Axiom (07-04-2015), Hope2014 (07-04-2015), JerryFish (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015), Stratman1 (07-05-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 04:00 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
nmd
Member
 
nmd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,028
Blog Entries: 8
Aa wouldnt be a bad start. Maybe alcohol free meet ups or activities you enjoy?

It soundss though, from your first post in may that you are in much greater immediate danger from drinking. You said you went through a scary at home detox and were drinking a bottle of vodka/day. Any way you can go through a medically supervised detox?

(And welcome, it looks like you joined in may :-)
nmd is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nmd For This Useful Post:
emme99 (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 04:02 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,573
Blog Entries: 22
Originally Posted by dunkelheit View Post

Should I just go to some kind of secular AA meeting?
If you are serious about quitting you should do whatever it takes to support that decision.

This stint as "social drinker" won't last.
doggonecarl is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), Elizabeth333 (07-04-2015), emme99 (07-04-2015), lillyknitting (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015), MIRecovery (07-04-2015), Stratman1 (07-05-2015), thomas11 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 04:09 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Notice that you didn't quit, you just changed the location at which you're drinking. So nothing really changed. You have an addiction. You need to quit. Permanently, no exceptions.

And yeah, go to a meeting. I called my doctor I think that's a really good route to take as well. Get as many options for help as you can.

And good luck!
JerryFish is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JerryFish For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), emme99 (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 04:13 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,467
Blog Entries: 1
I tried the 'social drinker' thing too - all I ended up doing was drinking as much as I used to at home in public.

It got very embarrassing, so I switched to drinking at home alone again.

Social drinker or not I was bent on self destruction,

The solution for me was to stop drinking at all.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), emme99 (07-04-2015), lillyknitting (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015), Stratman1 (07-05-2015), thomas11 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 04:18 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Axiom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 346
Blog Entries: 3
Should you go to AA? You will find a lot of help there should you choose to go. However, there are other secular methods of getting sober as well.

It does sound like you know you have a drinking problem and in that case you really should do anything/everything to help yourself.

Social drinking doesn't make you any less of an alcoholic. I was a bartender up until I quit drinking and while at the the end I would drink alone a lot also, the vast majority of my drinking was around other people. Addiction doesn't care if you're alone or with other people, it only cares that it gets it's fix.
Axiom is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Axiom For This Useful Post:
airwick (07-04-2015), Bird615 (07-04-2015), Dee74 (07-04-2015), emme99 (07-04-2015), thomas11 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 04:58 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
What I didn't hear in your post was anything like "I really want to stop drinking".


Do you want to stop drinking?
FreeOwl is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 05:02 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks guys. I got turned down by a bar on Thursday because I was already drunk when I showed up. They told me to have a coffee and something to eat, show the receipt and I could come back in 45 minutes. It's that bad.

I'm already detoxed and everything, but I feel that being single again, and not having anything productive to do is causing me to drink more. I'm probably going to be trashed for the next two days AT LEAST, because I promised I'd go to a couple more parties. My friend even called me out on facebook publically because I said I wanted to visit my dad on Sunday. So now I have to go to yet another party. I missed one yesterday because I was too hung over to go out. This is just extreme. I'm glad to be going out again after the break-up, but it just seems like I'm drinking more when I go out. Still, my liquor store ban is helping.

Why is it so hard to just stop? I wake up every day feeling like crap, then I go out again. It's the most illogical thing ever.
dunkelheit is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to dunkelheit For This Useful Post:
MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 05:06 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by nmd View Post
Aa wouldnt be a bad start. Maybe alcohol free meet ups or activities you enjoy?

It soundss though, from your first post in may that you are in much greater immediate danger from drinking. You said you went through a scary at home detox and were drinking a bottle of vodka/day. Any way you can go through a medically supervised detox?

(And welcome, it looks like you joined in may :-)
It was so frightening. I never want to have to go through that again. I don't know how you guys manage to just stop. I'm 26, so I'm getting to that point where I should have self-control, but I don't. I also have a mental problem, of which one of the diagnostic criteria are addiction. I don't want to use that as an excuse, but it's just so hard to deal with.
dunkelheit is offline  
Old 07-04-2015, 05:07 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
you have to go to a party because someone called you out on facebook?

also - still nothing that looks like "I want to stop drinking".
FreeOwl is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), doggonecarl (07-04-2015), Elodie (07-04-2015), least (07-04-2015), LilyMarie (07-22-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-05-2015), sg1970 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 05:21 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
I could see peace instead of this
 
Bird615's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Blog Entries: 11
I couldn't just stop. That was the problem. I have an addiction to alcohol. I had to get help; I tried to stop for 4 years this time around until I finally threw in the towel and accepted that I just can't do this alone.

I heard in a meeting yesterday that we don't have to live this way anymore if we don't want to.

That's my experience anyway.
Bird615 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bird615 For This Useful Post:
emme99 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 05:47 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
SixStringZen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 254
I've posted this before, but it bears repeating...

I had a friend who wanted me to train him for a marathon...he went out and bought the best watch, the best running shoes, hat, shades, heart rate monitor, etc...but I could NOT get him out the door to run with me...it was too early, or it was too hot, or tonight just wasn't a good time for him...after a few weeks, I explained to him...If you're going to be a runner...you're eventually going to have to run...it's not easy, but it is that simple...

If you're going to quit drinking, you're eventually going to have to stop drinking...it's not easy, but it is that simple...
SixStringZen is offline  
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to SixStringZen For This Useful Post:
ArtFriend (07-04-2015), biminiblue (07-04-2015), Bird615 (07-04-2015), daz135 (07-04-2015), doggonecarl (07-04-2015), Elodie (07-04-2015), emme99 (07-04-2015), least (07-04-2015), lillyknitting (11-11-2015), Liveitwell (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015), PurpleKnight (07-04-2015), sagittarius714 (07-04-2015), thomas11 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 05:52 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Originally Posted by dunkelheit View Post
Why is it so hard to just stop? I wake up every day feeling like crap, then I go out again. It's the most illogical thing ever.
You are addicted. Addicts need their alcohol.
ArtFriend is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to ArtFriend For This Useful Post:
MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 05:59 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Blog Entries: 1
I know, it's just I'm still young and trying to get out there again. I made a goal for myself, which I've kept, but it's not good enough. I'm still drinking every night.

Instead of waiting for the liquor store to open, I'm looking for parties every night. This isn't working. I'm definitely drinking less, but it's still a daily thing for me, I would really like to cut down, but I'm lonely and I want to have fun for the first time in 4 years.
dunkelheit is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dunkelheit For This Useful Post:
FreeOwl (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 06:08 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
And there it is....

'I'd like to cut down'.

When I was saying I'd like to cut down.... I had no interest in quitting.

My efforts to cut down took me through many years of troubles. Two DUIs. Other legal trouble. Health issues. Divorces. Lots and lots of misery.

May you avoid that fate.
FreeOwl is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), emme99 (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015), thomas11 (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 06:10 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,173
Originally Posted by dunkelheit View Post
IThis isn't working. I'm definitely drinking less, but it's still a daily thing for me, I would really like to cut down, but I'm lonely and I want to have fun for the first time in 4 years.
1. You already know that "cutting down" isn't an option. Alcoholics cannot "cut down". You either make a plan to quit or keep drinking.

2. Drinking does not equal fun for an alcoholic. It equals pain, misery, regret, shame and a lot worse if you keep up long enough. Living sober can be equally fun and fulfilling.

As others have mentioned, you just need to make a decision....is it time to quit or not? Tapering down/cutting back/changing the way you drink is not an option. As an alcoholic, you will always drink like one no matter where or when you do it.
ScottFromWI is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 06:16 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Almost 700 years sober
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,887
Blog Entries: 4
Dont let alcoholism rip your life apart the quickest way to stop this is to obviously stop drinking if your ready to do that, you can get help from a Dr to do so plus SR has its own secular section & there are smart recovery secular meetings plus there is rational recovery

Dont let alcohol rip your life apart i got sober at 31 & im 33 now i never thought i could get sober but here i am

Your not alone & by getting sober you give yourself a much better chance of peace & happiness esp at 26 yrs old

hopefully youl continue to post your journey of sobriety and realise that this isnt happiness this is alcoholism

You can do this friend at least give sobriety a chance youl find your happiness there
Soberwolf is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-04-2015), Elizabeth333 (07-04-2015), Elodie (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 06:35 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Self recovered Self discovered
 
freshstart57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,144
Here's the thing, dunkelheit. It really doesn't matter what has happened to you in the past, or what is on your social calendar for the future. That stuff does not matter.

What matters is what you do now. This moment. Look around you - where you are, what you are doing in this instant. In this instant, this present time, you make a decision to drink or not to drink. You already have it within you to make this choice. Every time, no matter what the situation is, you have it within you to decide not to drink. You do. YOU, Dunkelheit, can choose to quit drinking.

You can do all sorts of things, but the only way to get sober is to quit drinking. And of all times to quit drinking, now is the best. And it is the only time because it is always now.

Do it, Dunkelheit. You can do it. You don't have to keep drinking, you don't have to keep making this mess. You can stop, and you can stop for good.

Are you ready to make your decision about continuing to use alcohol?
freshstart57 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to freshstart57 For This Useful Post:
Elodie (07-04-2015)
Old 07-04-2015, 06:35 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,559
How old are you? If you are not comfortable telling us, I understand.
thomas11 is online now  
Old 07-04-2015, 06:39 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,559
" Still, my liquor store ban is helping."....is this self imposed? Or did you get in trouble?
thomas11 is online now  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:29 AM.