Okay, so I went from an at-home drinker to a "social drinker".
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Okay, so I went from an at-home drinker to a "social drinker".
But now I'm going out every night, from party, to show, to bar. Last night I woke up at 8PM and was still too intoxicated to get to the next party.
My goal was to stop buying alcohol from liquor stores and drinking alone, but now I'm going out to bars every night, or house parties. Tonight I'm going out to get trashed with an old friend.
I think I started doing this because my drinking made me lose my fiance of 4 years. I got really depressed, but I said I wouldn't drink at home anymore. And I don't, I get completely drunk in bars and stuff.
Should I just go to some kind of secular AA meeting?
My goal was to stop buying alcohol from liquor stores and drinking alone, but now I'm going out to bars every night, or house parties. Tonight I'm going out to get trashed with an old friend.
I think I started doing this because my drinking made me lose my fiance of 4 years. I got really depressed, but I said I wouldn't drink at home anymore. And I don't, I get completely drunk in bars and stuff.
Should I just go to some kind of secular AA meeting?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,440
Aa wouldnt be a bad start. Maybe alcohol free meet ups or activities you enjoy?
It soundss though, from your first post in may that you are in much greater immediate danger from drinking. You said you went through a scary at home detox and were drinking a bottle of vodka/day. Any way you can go through a medically supervised detox?
(And welcome, it looks like you joined in may :-)
It soundss though, from your first post in may that you are in much greater immediate danger from drinking. You said you went through a scary at home detox and were drinking a bottle of vodka/day. Any way you can go through a medically supervised detox?
(And welcome, it looks like you joined in may :-)
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by dunkelheit 
Should I just go to some kind of secular AA meeting?
This stint as "social drinker" won't last.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Notice that you didn't quit, you just changed the location at which you're drinking. So nothing really changed. You have an addiction. You need to quit. Permanently, no exceptions.
And yeah, go to a meeting. I called my doctor I think that's a really good route to take as well. Get as many options for help as you can.
And good luck!
And yeah, go to a meeting. I called my doctor I think that's a really good route to take as well. Get as many options for help as you can.
And good luck!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
I tried the 'social drinker' thing too - all I ended up doing was drinking as much as I used to at home in public.
It got very embarrassing, so I switched to drinking at home alone again.
Social drinker or not I was bent on self destruction,
The solution for me was to stop drinking at all.
D
It got very embarrassing, so I switched to drinking at home alone again.
Social drinker or not I was bent on self destruction,
The solution for me was to stop drinking at all.
D
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 346
Should you go to AA? You will find a lot of help there should you choose to go. However, there are other secular methods of getting sober as well.
It does sound like you know you have a drinking problem and in that case you really should do anything/everything to help yourself.
Social drinking doesn't make you any less of an alcoholic. I was a bartender up until I quit drinking and while at the the end I would drink alone a lot also, the vast majority of my drinking was around other people. Addiction doesn't care if you're alone or with other people, it only cares that it gets it's fix.
It does sound like you know you have a drinking problem and in that case you really should do anything/everything to help yourself.
Social drinking doesn't make you any less of an alcoholic. I was a bartender up until I quit drinking and while at the the end I would drink alone a lot also, the vast majority of my drinking was around other people. Addiction doesn't care if you're alone or with other people, it only cares that it gets it's fix.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Thanks guys. I got turned down by a bar on Thursday because I was already drunk when I showed up. They told me to have a coffee and something to eat, show the receipt and I could come back in 45 minutes. It's that bad.
I'm already detoxed and everything, but I feel that being single again, and not having anything productive to do is causing me to drink more. I'm probably going to be trashed for the next two days AT LEAST, because I promised I'd go to a couple more parties. My friend even called me out on facebook publically because I said I wanted to visit my dad on Sunday. So now I have to go to yet another party. I missed one yesterday because I was too hung over to go out. This is just extreme. I'm glad to be going out again after the break-up, but it just seems like I'm drinking more when I go out. Still, my liquor store ban is helping.
Why is it so hard to just stop? I wake up every day feeling like crap, then I go out again. It's the most illogical thing ever.
I'm already detoxed and everything, but I feel that being single again, and not having anything productive to do is causing me to drink more. I'm probably going to be trashed for the next two days AT LEAST, because I promised I'd go to a couple more parties. My friend even called me out on facebook publically because I said I wanted to visit my dad on Sunday. So now I have to go to yet another party. I missed one yesterday because I was too hung over to go out. This is just extreme. I'm glad to be going out again after the break-up, but it just seems like I'm drinking more when I go out. Still, my liquor store ban is helping.
Why is it so hard to just stop? I wake up every day feeling like crap, then I go out again. It's the most illogical thing ever.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by nmd
Aa wouldnt be a bad start. Maybe alcohol free meet ups or activities you enjoy?
It soundss though, from your first post in may that you are in much greater immediate danger from drinking. You said you went through a scary at home detox and were drinking a bottle of vodka/day. Any way you can go through a medically supervised detox?
(And welcome, it looks like you joined in may :-)
It soundss though, from your first post in may that you are in much greater immediate danger from drinking. You said you went through a scary at home detox and were drinking a bottle of vodka/day. Any way you can go through a medically supervised detox?
(And welcome, it looks like you joined in may :-)
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
I couldn't just stop. That was the problem. I have an addiction to alcohol. I had to get help; I tried to stop for 4 years this time around until I finally threw in the towel and accepted that I just can't do this alone.
I heard in a meeting yesterday that we don't have to live this way anymore if we don't want to.
That's my experience anyway.
I heard in a meeting yesterday that we don't have to live this way anymore if we don't want to.
That's my experience anyway.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 254
I've posted this before, but it bears repeating...
I had a friend who wanted me to train him for a marathon...he went out and bought the best watch, the best running shoes, hat, shades, heart rate monitor, etc...but I could NOT get him out the door to run with me...it was too early, or it was too hot, or tonight just wasn't a good time for him...after a few weeks, I explained to him...If you're going to be a runner...you're eventually going to have to run...it's not easy, but it is that simple...
If you're going to quit drinking, you're eventually going to have to stop drinking...it's not easy, but it is that simple...
I had a friend who wanted me to train him for a marathon...he went out and bought the best watch, the best running shoes, hat, shades, heart rate monitor, etc...but I could NOT get him out the door to run with me...it was too early, or it was too hot, or tonight just wasn't a good time for him...after a few weeks, I explained to him...If you're going to be a runner...you're eventually going to have to run...it's not easy, but it is that simple...
If you're going to quit drinking, you're eventually going to have to stop drinking...it's not easy, but it is that simple...
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Originally Posted by dunkelheit
Why is it so hard to just stop? I wake up every day feeling like crap, then I go out again. It's the most illogical thing ever.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 139
I know, it's just I'm still young and trying to get out there again. I made a goal for myself, which I've kept, but it's not good enough. I'm still drinking every night.
Instead of waiting for the liquor store to open, I'm looking for parties every night. This isn't working. I'm definitely drinking less, but it's still a daily thing for me, I would really like to cut down, but I'm lonely and I want to have fun for the first time in 4 years.
Instead of waiting for the liquor store to open, I'm looking for parties every night. This isn't working. I'm definitely drinking less, but it's still a daily thing for me, I would really like to cut down, but I'm lonely and I want to have fun for the first time in 4 years.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
And there it is....
'I'd like to cut down'.
When I was saying I'd like to cut down.... I had no interest in quitting.
My efforts to cut down took me through many years of troubles. Two DUIs. Other legal trouble. Health issues. Divorces. Lots and lots of misery.
May you avoid that fate.
'I'd like to cut down'.
When I was saying I'd like to cut down.... I had no interest in quitting.
My efforts to cut down took me through many years of troubles. Two DUIs. Other legal trouble. Health issues. Divorces. Lots and lots of misery.
May you avoid that fate.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by dunkelheit
IThis isn't working. I'm definitely drinking less, but it's still a daily thing for me, I would really like to cut down, but I'm lonely and I want to have fun for the first time in 4 years.
2. Drinking does not equal fun for an alcoholic. It equals pain, misery, regret, shame and a lot worse if you keep up long enough. Living sober can be equally fun and fulfilling.
As others have mentioned, you just need to make a decision....is it time to quit or not? Tapering down/cutting back/changing the way you drink is not an option. As an alcoholic, you will always drink like one no matter where or when you do it.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Dont let alcoholism rip your life apart the quickest way to stop this is to obviously stop drinking if your ready to do that, you can get help from a Dr to do so plus SR has its own secular section & there are smart recovery secular meetings plus there is rational recovery
Dont let alcohol rip your life apart i got sober at 31 & im 33 now i never thought i could get sober but here i am
Your not alone & by getting sober you give yourself a much better chance of peace & happiness esp at 26 yrs old
hopefully youl continue to post your journey of sobriety and realise that this isnt happiness this is alcoholism
You can do this friend at least give sobriety a chance youl find your happiness there
Dont let alcohol rip your life apart i got sober at 31 & im 33 now i never thought i could get sober but here i am
Your not alone & by getting sober you give yourself a much better chance of peace & happiness esp at 26 yrs old
hopefully youl continue to post your journey of sobriety and realise that this isnt happiness this is alcoholism
You can do this friend at least give sobriety a chance youl find your happiness there
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Here's the thing, dunkelheit. It really doesn't matter what has happened to you in the past, or what is on your social calendar for the future. That stuff does not matter.
What matters is what you do now. This moment. Look around you - where you are, what you are doing in this instant. In this instant, this present time, you make a decision to drink or not to drink. You already have it within you to make this choice. Every time, no matter what the situation is, you have it within you to decide not to drink. You do. YOU, Dunkelheit, can choose to quit drinking.
You can do all sorts of things, but the only way to get sober is to quit drinking. And of all times to quit drinking, now is the best. And it is the only time because it is always now.
Do it, Dunkelheit. You can do it. You don't have to keep drinking, you don't have to keep making this mess. You can stop, and you can stop for good.
Are you ready to make your decision about continuing to use alcohol?
What matters is what you do now. This moment. Look around you - where you are, what you are doing in this instant. In this instant, this present time, you make a decision to drink or not to drink. You already have it within you to make this choice. Every time, no matter what the situation is, you have it within you to decide not to drink. You do. YOU, Dunkelheit, can choose to quit drinking.
You can do all sorts of things, but the only way to get sober is to quit drinking. And of all times to quit drinking, now is the best. And it is the only time because it is always now.
Do it, Dunkelheit. You can do it. You don't have to keep drinking, you don't have to keep making this mess. You can stop, and you can stop for good.
Are you ready to make your decision about continuing to use alcohol?
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