Mesober35

Made it almost 4 days. A record for me. Followed by a very messy weekend. Head still foggy. Where do I go from here?

Need a replacement to my "fun" wine activity. Suggestions?

biminiblue

Start again.

Why did you drink again? Start sorting that out. The key is to not pick up that first drink, no matter what.

That may mean not putting yourself in situations where alcohol is available for a while, until you feel stronger.

ScottFromWI

This is always a great thread to read when looking for new activities.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Having said that, for most of us the activity itself isn't the problem...it's the alcohol. And most of us seek alcohol no matter what we are doing...until we figure out a plan to not drink.

Soberwolf

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

RDBplus3

WORK THE STEPS

ME BEFORE ... but YOUR god never did anything for me ... how can there be a god if he allows ... I don't like AA, they are full of $#!+ ... I can do this on my own ... I can handle just a drink or two ... onward to repeated episodes of Pitiful & Incomprehensible Demoralization ...

ME NOW ... Happy, Joyous and Free

doggonecarl

So if activities with wine are "fun" then activities without wine are not fun. That mindset tends to look at sobriety as a process of deprivation. When deprived of something, we long for it. If that "something" is alcohol, we drink.

Work on changing your mindset. Alcohol is depriving you of a rich, fulfilled life. Embrace it.

Failing that, you can go a couple weeks without having "fun" until you settle into sobriety. No one died from not having fun. Then you can start finding activities to replace drinking.

tomdecel

Brilliant response DG-Carl. I applaud this.

Since I sobered up nearly 5 years ago, I've traveled (a lot of) the world, seen my kids graduate from college. I worked on improved my finances and investments to the point that I now work because I love to work, and not because I have to, and re-kindled my love affair with my wife, Etc. Etc. So yeah, I'm having lots of fun now, and its all because of the optimistic mindset I sculpted for myself. All without a drop of booze.

Anna

Yes, I think it's about changing your mind, changing everything. I had to do that. I had to do some soul-searching to find what I could do that would bring joy to my day.

least

It took me a while to adjust to living sober, but now everything I do is fun, without drinking. You have to adjust your attitude.

PurpleKnight

Go at things again and tweak your plan, you know the hurdle to get over, which is the weekend, come up with a way around the problem and you're well on your way!!

You can do this!!

Mesober35

Thanks for all the fun suggestions. Yeah I really enjoyed those 4 sober days. Incredible.

Does anybody get sober without AA?

onedayatatime26

I'm with ya mesober35. I've been to two AA meetings in the past and it just wasn't my thing. The holding hands and praying wasn't really up my alley. I wish there was something out there that was just as accessible but for people that aren't religious

FreeOwl

After the last messy weekend I had.... I dove headlong into AA, began using SR daily, read the Big Book about five times, regularly went to counseling (general therapy, not to do specifically with addiction but about life and emotions and the like), re-ignited my focus on exercise, started finding new things to try in life to fill my time and generally began a complete reinvention.

That - for over a year and a half now - has worked.

Keep at it... today is Day 1 and you can do it.

soberclover

So I am on board with AA not being on the top ten list for people. I attend very sporadically. However, with that being said, IF it isn't working for people to get sober on their own with their current plan, attending meetings would be better than drinking, IMHO. For me, SR works. I check in daily reading posts and responding to posts. I did a stint in counseling. I have complete acceptance that I cannot drink. The wine activity for me always ended in a complete disaster. I got sick of the same old. I also have been doing A LOT of work on the reasons why I drank. Being sober is not drinking. I want to be more than just sober; I want sobriety.

Dee74

make a plan and get some support - and use it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

If you don't want to drink again, you don't have to

D

thomas11

Hi mesober, It appears you are relatively new to this site. My first thought was that you may need to revisit your definition of "fun" as you put it. You asked "where do I go from here". IMO you've already started, you are here, people here will help you every step of the way. Wish you the best, and good job on the 4 days. Every sober person here started with a day 1, then 2, etc....