Moderating is killing me!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Moderating is so cruel... just having one, and then constantly watching the clock to see how long it will be before I can have another one. Just doesn't work for me.
One is too many and a thousand is never enough.
Welcome back. Good luck on your journey.
One is too many and a thousand is never enough.
Welcome back. Good luck on your journey.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back Pinot!!
For me support was crucial, my addiction could convince me of anything in isolation, instead I needed something to give me a second opinion on things, something outside of my own addicted mind!!
You can do this!!
For me support was crucial, my addiction could convince me of anything in isolation, instead I needed something to give me a second opinion on things, something outside of my own addicted mind!!
You can do this!!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by TastyCheez 
Oh yea...and I'm terrified of failing health. Even tonight, I noticed what I think is a new development of yellowing on the whites of my eyes...at 32 that scares the crap out of me.
Did the 35-50 drinks per week for so long kill my liver?
Those type of things are called reality checks...and yet they still don't stop the cravings...thus the moderating (and failure of such practice).
Did the 35-50 drinks per week for so long kill my liver?
Those type of things are called reality checks...and yet they still don't stop the cravings...thus the moderating (and failure of such practice).
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: rockville
Posts: 126
My issue with moderation (and I'm sure many here) was that it was so completely unsatisfying. I mean, it really gave me absolutely nothing that felt good. Just nerves, anxiety, racing thoughts, and cravings. There was no sense of accomplishment. There was no prize going to sleep with 2 beers in me. It was a hollow and empty place that left me screaming for more.
It probably took me too long to realize this but at least I finally did. There are only 2 ways I can drink and be satisfied. None at all or 12+ drinks a night. Anything in between is wasted time and energy.
I'm only 31 days in right now but I can definitely say without hesitation that I go to bed and wake up satisfied and comfortable with my decision to not drink than any other attempt at trying to "back it down". And I constantly remind myself of this because if I get weak and slip, it's going to be a six pack and a bottle of bourbon and not some glass of wine with dinner. That's too romantic. I know me and slipping back to what I am as a drinker is pretty scary now.
It probably took me too long to realize this but at least I finally did. There are only 2 ways I can drink and be satisfied. None at all or 12+ drinks a night. Anything in between is wasted time and energy.
I'm only 31 days in right now but I can definitely say without hesitation that I go to bed and wake up satisfied and comfortable with my decision to not drink than any other attempt at trying to "back it down". And I constantly remind myself of this because if I get weak and slip, it's going to be a six pack and a bottle of bourbon and not some glass of wine with dinner. That's too romantic. I know me and slipping back to what I am as a drinker is pretty scary now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Hi Pinot,
Glad you're back. And you're certainly not the only one among us here who heard the truth for a long time before accepting it.
You're title is exactly how I felt -- moderation was killing me. And here's the thing too...my definition of "moderation" would change in order to suit myself. So a weekday night...a bottle of wine could be moderation. I would be done by like 8pm. And then off to bed at 9, wake up in the middle of the night thirsty and feeling like crap. But hey, it was just ONE bottle. That's less than the two bottles I wanted so who's to say that's not moderation.
On a weekend, start drinking early enough, polish off two bottles...its still only mid -afternoon. Hmm..if I don't drink anymore for the day, that's moderation, right? See where I'm going here...
Anyways, yes, its exhausting. Less than 30 days here, and this isn't my first attempt at this, but I finally have some support. You don't have to do it on your own. Keep coming here and posting!
Glad you're back. And you're certainly not the only one among us here who heard the truth for a long time before accepting it.
You're title is exactly how I felt -- moderation was killing me. And here's the thing too...my definition of "moderation" would change in order to suit myself. So a weekday night...a bottle of wine could be moderation. I would be done by like 8pm. And then off to bed at 9, wake up in the middle of the night thirsty and feeling like crap. But hey, it was just ONE bottle. That's less than the two bottles I wanted so who's to say that's not moderation.
On a weekend, start drinking early enough, polish off two bottles...its still only mid -afternoon. Hmm..if I don't drink anymore for the day, that's moderation, right? See where I'm going here...
Anyways, yes, its exhausting. Less than 30 days here, and this isn't my first attempt at this, but I finally have some support. You don't have to do it on your own. Keep coming here and posting!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Ah yes, moderation.....
The fluffy unicorn pooping rainbows, the pot of gold, the big pink elephant, and we are more likely to see those than moderate happily. People who can moderate, well they don't have to think about it. We call them "normies." I'm married to one. In my active alcoholism, I resented her. Now I can't say I care.
If you quit, eventually you will have a happy heart and soul. And the obsession will be lifted. We have to do a lot of work on ourselves to get there, but it's beyond worth it.
The fluffy unicorn pooping rainbows, the pot of gold, the big pink elephant, and we are more likely to see those than moderate happily. People who can moderate, well they don't have to think about it. We call them "normies." I'm married to one. In my active alcoholism, I resented her. Now I can't say I care.
If you quit, eventually you will have a happy heart and soul. And the obsession will be lifted. We have to do a lot of work on ourselves to get there, but it's beyond worth it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by Lola23
Hi Pinot,
Glad you're back. And you're certainly not the only one among us here who heard the truth for a long time before accepting it.
You're title is exactly how I felt -- moderation was killing me. And here's the thing too...my definition of "moderation" would change in order to suit myself. So a weekday night...a bottle of wine could be moderation. I would be done by like 8pm. And then off to bed at 9, wake up in the middle of the night thirsty and feeling like crap. But hey, it was just ONE bottle. That's less than the two bottles I wanted so who's to say that's not moderation.
On a weekend, start drinking early enough, polish off two bottles...its still only mid -afternoon. Hmm..if I don't drink anymore for the day, that's moderation, right? See where I'm going here...
Anyways, yes, its exhausting. Less than 30 days here, and this isn't my first attempt at this, but I finally have some support. You don't have to do it on your own. Keep coming here and posting!
Glad you're back. And you're certainly not the only one among us here who heard the truth for a long time before accepting it.
You're title is exactly how I felt -- moderation was killing me. And here's the thing too...my definition of "moderation" would change in order to suit myself. So a weekday night...a bottle of wine could be moderation. I would be done by like 8pm. And then off to bed at 9, wake up in the middle of the night thirsty and feeling like crap. But hey, it was just ONE bottle. That's less than the two bottles I wanted so who's to say that's not moderation.
On a weekend, start drinking early enough, polish off two bottles...its still only mid -afternoon. Hmm..if I don't drink anymore for the day, that's moderation, right? See where I'm going here...
Anyways, yes, its exhausting. Less than 30 days here, and this isn't my first attempt at this, but I finally have some support. You don't have to do it on your own. Keep coming here and posting!
11.30.14
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: California
Posts: 401
Oh gosh...moderation. I made several unsuccessful attempts to "moderate", only to slip back and drink wine more than ever. I had moderation down to a science - measuring my wine, calculating time between drinks...
I just couldn't "moderate". Now it's black or white, all or nothing for me. I reached a point in my life where I could've stayed on the crazy train from hell or jump off in order to save my life.
I just couldn't "moderate". Now it's black or white, all or nothing for me. I reached a point in my life where I could've stayed on the crazy train from hell or jump off in order to save my life.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
I would give $1000.00 for someone to help me stop completely.
Ok, here's what you should do. I'm quite confident this will work for you.
Give that $1000 away, 1 dollar at a time, as quickly as you can.
Here's the catch. You need to give it away 1 dollar at a time in the basket that is passed around at AA meetings.
Doing this 1 dollar at a time, at every meeting you attend, will probably take you 2 - 3 years. I bet you learn a lot about how to get and stay sober at the 1000 AA meetings you attend over that time.
Ok, here's what you should do. I'm quite confident this will work for you.
Give that $1000 away, 1 dollar at a time, as quickly as you can.
Here's the catch. You need to give it away 1 dollar at a time in the basket that is passed around at AA meetings.
Doing this 1 dollar at a time, at every meeting you attend, will probably take you 2 - 3 years. I bet you learn a lot about how to get and stay sober at the 1000 AA meetings you attend over that time.
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