PinotNOmore

Hi friends,
Moderating doesn't work! Oh, you knew that already!?! Why didn't you tell me? Oh, you did? And I didn't listen? That makes more sense.
I'm having a hard time these days. Not awful... yet. But thought I should document how I'm feeling. I'll try and explain more tomorrow. I really want to be present here more. Trying on my own does.not.work.
~Pinot

Verte

Hi PNM,

Welcome back! Soak up all the support you can. It is here for you. Sorry to read that you are having a rough go.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Pinot. Is stopping completely your goal?

PinotNOmore

Yes. Just haven't figured it out yet. It's weird, I could tell someone in my situation EXACTLY what to do, but I don't listen to myself. For a few years I wanted to learn to moderate. For the last few I think I've known that I CAN do it, but it hurts me more than helps me. I would give $1000.00 for someone to help me stop completely.

Dee74

I hope you decide to quit completely.

As hard as quitting altogether might be, I think it's a million times easier than trying to moderate.

D

PinotNOmore

I know. I think I've know for a long time but knowing and doing... totally different.

TastyCheez

Moderating is exceptionally difficult. I too thought I could pull that off, "just 1" I'd say as I cozied up to a bar to work....6 hours and 12 drinks later I was stone sober, but my stomach was pickled. My only solution to moderation is not starting. I have conquered it a few times...I'd have 1 or 2 then I'd go the rest of the day twitching my thumbs, strung up on anxiety and stress just dying to have another drink...I took that "moderation" out on those around me (family, friends, and even my employees and customers)

Ruby2

I am always good at dishing out suggestions to other people too but until I was good and ready, didn't want to follow my own advice. Stubborn that way. Hurts me no end because I think I give pretty sound ideas. What worked best for me was the good old one day at a time. Just for today, I won't drink.

Good luck. I found my sorry attempts at moderating to be the most anxiety ridden times of my life.

Debbie329

Yeah I gave up on moderating.....for me it's all or nothing. Mostly nothing but sometimes I go off the deep end.

TastyCheez

Ruby2, yup! I hear ya. Couldn't have said it better myself...the moderation is what caused chaos in my life, when full out drinking I kept a rather sane life (until of course I sobered up...then I realized how f'ed that life was)

silentrun

Welcome back Pinot.

TastyCheez

Oh yea...and I'm terrified of failing health. Even tonight, I noticed what I think is a new development of yellowing on the whites of my eyes...at 32 that scares the crap out of me.

Did the 35-50 drinks per week for so long kill my liver?

Those type of things are called reality checks...and yet they still don't stop the cravings...thus the moderating (and failure of such practice).

Marcher13

Pinot I'm glad to see you back. I'm sorry that you are still vacillating on this, you know moderating is futile, you know you are on a slippery slope, you know what the tools are. Please don't wait to hit whatever your theoretical bottom is because a lot of people don't get out of there and you're missing out on the life you could have.

If I can do it you can too.

FeelingGreat

Hi Pinot, as a veteran failed moderator I found just stopping much more relaxing. I was sick of following the bottle around the table, wondering if I could squeeze in another drink, could I drive etc. Just really tiring.

Meraviglioso

Love this, I'm going to write it down and post it in my kitchen.

Tippingpoint

Moderation always seemed a bit cruel and unusual to me. All in or all out is what suits me best!

doggonecarl

Save your money. You can quit drinking for free. Today. And you've been given plenty of advice on how to do it. You just have to take action.

Start by surrendering the idea that you can ever drink again. Even one.

Meraviglioso

I always said that I would chop off my right arm if it meant I could drink in moderation. I'd even add €1000 on top of that. It won't happen for either of us, we just have to STOP.

Persys

When I hear about moderation I always have to remember: "It's easier to keep a lion in a cage than to keep a lion on a leash".

You can stop today. There is no secret (fortunately and unfortunately). You just stop and don't drink no matter what. It does get easier!

Hopeless1978

Hi Pinot!! We are always great at giving advice and never taking our own! Just take one day at a time! If "I" can do it, anyone can! I never in my life thought I would be THIS in control and it's an amazing feeling! I'm so proud of myself! Believe me, you CAN do it!! <3