Hi Pinot,
Glad you're back. And you're certainly not the only one among us here who heard the truth for a long time before accepting it.
You're title is exactly how I felt -- moderation was killing me. And here's the thing too...my definition of "moderation" would change in order to suit myself. So a weekday night...a bottle of wine could be moderation. I would be done by like 8pm. And then off to bed at 9, wake up in the middle of the night thirsty and feeling like crap. But hey, it was just ONE bottle. That's less than the two bottles I wanted so who's to say that's not moderation.
On a weekend, start drinking early enough, polish off two bottles...its still only mid -afternoon. Hmm..if I don't drink anymore for the day, that's moderation, right? See where I'm going here...
Anyways, yes, its exhausting. Less than 30 days here, and this isn't my first attempt at this, but I finally have some support. You don't have to do it on your own. Keep coming here and posting!