mayg

Well done everyone. Sounds as if we're all struggling but staying strong anyway we can. I watched tennis till late then went to bed and had the most awful dreams. That I was drunk and vomiting and planes, and kids and house crumbling. Gawd! I was very happy to wake up and be on day 6. I was so sure I'd broken it and it took about ten minutes to dawn that I hadn't. I think that is the best feeling, getting into bed and knowing you haven't drunk and then waking up to knowing that you got another day. I've called my AV Joan, as in Mommy Dearest and that is helping. I just tell her to get off (several times an hour on ocassion) Mayg

Dee74

This is a great link for cravings guys
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

One of the things in it is about HALT - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired - it's an acronym to help us remember those times when we might be more vulnerable than others.

I'm sorry for everyone who's struggling here - but it really will get better.

If you're like me you drank for years - it's going to take a little time for minds and bodies to repair themselves - but they will

D

mayg

I'm the same Sandy. I have a big work thing in July for 2 weeks and then again in August and it is serious drinking there and people have even said, of course you'll drink there. That's okay if you do, and grrr - oh, you won't be as much fun and all that stuff. I have decided to just make it about today for now. No idea what July shall bring but if I get a sober June it will be the first in a very, very long time. Mayg

chanty

Would like to join your class of June. I was in the May class, doing ok when I stuffed up last night. So another repeat offender here, hoping that this is the last time. I was also back here in 2013, so have been trying to give up for a while.

JL2014

Repeat offender . Haha I love it. I AM it !
Pigged out on tater tots and some horrible cheap hamburger patties. 6yr old sons at pa and granny's, 2 yr old is in crib yelling, fighting off sleep. Wife floating around in the tub playing w her new phone. Hers mysteriously breaks when she wants a new one ! Haha.
I have an original iPhone, so postings sketchy and meetings are impossible even with app.
So so tired.
Sober and thankful.
2 long 10 hr hard workdays, then off to the second job as an emt.
Good night

Sparkledust

Hi Chanty, and everyone else who's new.

Ugh, I'm having some pretty severe cravings still..... to the point where I think if I had better access to a store right now, I would already have wine in my hands. I've already eaten....I'm not tired.....actually I hate this HALT thing. Angry? That's not a problem for me really.....why not Hungry, Overwhelmed, Bored, Sad? ...HOBS?!? lol

Really, it's usually me being either Sad, hungry, upset, stressed, or bored.....maybe lonely (which makes me sad though)....

Although to be fair, right now I'm pretty angry. But that's actually rare. Or, maybe I've just been calling it "upset". gah gah gah.....

I don't even want wine to get drunk! These past couple days all I've wanted is the taste, and that initial release feeling......usually I don't like the taste of alchol. I never have. But right now, I just want some wine.....

Dee74

welcome Chanty

D

chanty

Thanks Sparkle. I am the same, I want that initial release feeling wine gives you. The escape from everything. Though it is stupid really, because today I feel like crap, that little release was just not worth it. My past week, which I have been sober for, felt the best I have done in a long time. So why did I go screw it up? Just to get a little release. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

TroyW

Start of day 4 here. Crappy sleep, and woke up at 2am with, I don't know... I guess the term is anxiety attack? Not sure, but nothing major. That medical issue seems to be dissipating now, but slower than I imagined it would. Nonetheless, all good there.

This morning I'll head to the local market where there's a pet store, pick up stuff for the boys, and small meals for myself, which I forgot about yesterday, because I never eat them. So will grab a bunch of nuts, crackers, fruits, cans of soup, etc... just things I can be eating within minutes, versus defrosting something, chopping up the veggies, cooking it all, etc.

After that, hopefully get some work done, have a nap, then I'm off to town for... I don't know, a long walk. No more staying inside around 6pm though.

Neighbour keeps e-mailing me, which is starting to irritate me to the point of politely telling him to back off. For whatever reason he took it upon himself to "help" me, when it's none of his business, considering we barely know each other. Dumb stuff too, like, "have you heard of AA and the big book?". Gee, dude, no, I sure haven't.

Just... if I want to know about rental properties, I'll ask you. If I want to know about alcoholism, I'll ask a bunch of alcoholics, but thanks for your concern.

Anyway, on to day 4! Take care June class, and hope you're all staying strong.

DancingDiva

Hey all-

Day 8 is coming to a close. I've been thinking about the little gifts and help the universe gives us. I said yesterday how difficult Tuesday nights are for me to get through sober. Last night I was really on the fence but remembered that I had a couple of things to do today that I really needed to be clearheaded for, and that's what pushed me to the staying sober side. Well, today they both got rescheduled for Friday night, which is another difficult time for me! So the same thing that helped me stay sober last night will help me stay sober on Friday.

It might seem like a little thing, but I love seeing little signs like this that tell me the universe is looking out for me.

Hope everyone is hanging in!

Dee74

I dunno Troy - I used to wish someone would have concern for me like that.
I was certainly a very obvious drunk....

Still, if he's bugging you, why not just send his email to spam?

mayg

I feel like that sometimes Dee74. My ex was very difficult and it was all very messy and I was the so-called *strong* one and sometimes I feel like screaming that not waving drowning line. Sometimes I am talking to friends and I think can't you see I am going under? That sounds very selfish and self absorbed but it is just the chatter in my head sometimes. Anyway, no-ones going to fix the mess but me. I learnt that a long time ago and so now it's time to get on with that job. Mayg

mayg

I was just thinking Troy, maybe he's an ex alcoholic and reaching out? Dunno. Just a thought. Mayg

TroyW

I do honestly appreciate the gesture, and it is nice of him. However, this is a personal matter, we don't know each other very well, nor does he understand alcoholism. Whereas here on SR, we all have a basic understanding of each other, what alcohol does to your life, the type of person you become, the struggle to get sober, etc.

Only reason I was so honest with him was because he decided to self-diagnose me as a bi-polar schizophrenic, and his wife and kid live across the street, so I didn't want him to be worried about anything, but he doesn't seem to be in the slightest. He just genuinely wants to help.

Hopefully we can just change the subject, and talk about normal things in life. I don't feel like discussing alcoholism with him. If it was a family member, or someone from my past who actually knows me, I'd have no problem discussing it if they wanted. Not with him though.


Nah, that's not it. He would have said if he was. Plus, he apparently didn't even know I was drunk out of my skull each time we talked or went into town together, and I'm quite confident it would have been pretty obvious to an alcoholic.

BTW... love your posts, and reading about your journey. Sounds like doing great! Keep on keeping up the good fight.

Julie59

Hey Mayg

I sure understand ... and I sometimes get the "wo is me" feeling and then start feeling envious of other people etc etc .... BUT yes it is ME that has to fix this mess ... not anyone else . So yes lets all get on with that job !!!! Hope your day is going Mayg

Sparkledust

Just posting to say that I'm going to bed sober.... something I really wasn't sure was going to happen. I am full and bloated from so much food, and chocolate. Eeeeeeek. Ok goodnight all.

Dee74

night sparkledust

D

SansaS

I'm checking in here for day 5

JL2014

Dancing diva- great news ! Something to be thankful for
Sparkle dust- good news too. Me also, stuffed and snoozing
Sansa - congratulations !

JL2014

Treating these up in middle of night things as a treat now. 30-40 minutes of me time instead of fretting over sleep. I just got a. Restless 2 yr old.
My little family is a blessing I don't deserve, but it's all in with wife and 3 boys ( 2 at home). No me time ever. Had to learn to carve it out.