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Jealous of Sober People

Old 05-29-2015, 12:31 PM
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Jealous of Sober People

I am actually jealous when I met people or hear about others who dont drink, or who can just have one or two drinks. I think...wow...I wish I could do that, they probably feel good everyday and actually live life. I live at the beach and on weekends when I am sick and hungover out walking my dog in the mornings I see so many happy and active people enjoying the mornings as I sit there feeling like i am about to throw up and can barely move since i had horrible drunk passout sleep with no energy and very bad headache. I turn to my boyfriend and say lets go I dont feel very well and he says, yes, lets go its almost time for a beer!! Im not going to go along with that anymore. This weekend Im telling him i will not sit at a bar all day and night. I want to wake up feel good, do something! I hope he joins me, otherwise i guess we will have to break up. When we bar hop, as we walk around to the next boozefest, I see people on main street happy, shopping, eating and I think..wow...so many people can enjoy life being sober, I wish I could!!
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Old 05-29-2015, 12:41 PM
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I agree with your post. I told my dad yesterday that it sucks I have to be the only one in our immediate family who can't drink, and that it is unfair. Also, my husband can be unsupportive as well about my sobriety, and I am going to be more honest with him about how it makes me feel.
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:09 PM
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I like to compare it sometimes to a nut allergy, would I really try to make eating nuts work, be jealous of other people that could have nuts, maybe risk my life by moderating my nut intake if a Dr said they were off bounds!! . . . probably not!!

For me I needed to reach an acceptance that me and alcohol were incompatible with each other, people are different and this is where I find myself!!

Hang in there!!
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:09 PM
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Welcome Want2feelGood.

The good news is you can be one of those people who don't drink. It takes hard work but it really is worth it. I am glad you are planning on not drinking this weekend but I think you may need to do some more planning for the long run.
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:10 PM
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I don't agree that it's unfair we can't drink alcohol. This is life and everyone has something that they struggle with. In the big picture, not drinking alcohol is not a big deal at all. There are a lot of people much worse off than I am.

I think it's important to focus on yourself in early recovery and not worry whether or not your husband/boyfriend gets it, because he probably won't. Instead use that energy to propel yourself forward in your recovery.
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:28 PM
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You can be one of those happy people too. But you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:30 PM
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You can be one of those sober people starting right now. First step is not taking that first drink no matter what. Glad you've checked in with us and wishing you the best this weekend. I hope you'll stay close to here and let us help you.
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Old 05-29-2015, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by want2feelGood View Post
I am actually jealous when I met people or hear about others who dont drink, or who can just have one or two drinks. I think...wow...I wish I could do that, they probably feel good everyday and actually live life. I live at the beach and on weekends when I am sick and hungover out walking my dog in the mornings I see so many happy and active people enjoying the mornings as I sit there feeling like i am about to throw up and can barely move since i had horrible drunk passout sleep with no energy and very bad headache. I turn to my boyfriend and say lets go I dont feel very well and he says, yes, lets go its almost time for a beer!! Im not going to go along with that anymore. This weekend Im telling him i will not sit at a bar all day and night. I want to wake up feel good, do something! I hope he joins me, otherwise i guess we will have to break up. When we bar hop, as we walk around to the next boozefest, I see people on main street happy, shopping, eating and I think..wow...so many people can enjoy life being sober, I wish I could!!
I know exactly the feeling you are describing!! I have felt it many times myself. I want what they have too. Freedom.
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Old 05-29-2015, 04:26 PM
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Welcome

I can remembering thinking it was unfair too...

but today thinking about my life now, I have to pinch myself sometimes at how good I feel....and all I needed to do was give up alcohol.

I vastly prefer not drinking

Don't be jealous - you can cross on over to the other side too want2feelgood

D
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:28 PM
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don't waste any more time feeling jealous of people like me
come join us!

use the time you're wasting on jealousy and hangovers and getting wretchedly drunk on activities that support sobriety.

coming here is a great start!

add to it
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:42 PM
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Sober people have problems too. I imagine that they have many that I would rather not have.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:46 PM
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In recent months, I've also reflected on how unfair it is that someone else got to marry George Clooney.

Don't get bogged down in the fact that others can drink. We cannot. As long as we keep thinking it's "unfair" that we cannot drink, we cannot find that acceptance that Purple Knight mentioned. In time, you'll find that there's plenty to enjoy in the sober life. More, in fact.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:55 PM
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scratch that...
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Old 05-29-2015, 09:19 PM
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Thank you for the honest post. I have had very similar experiences as you. I live by the beach as well and spent countless mornings hungover going for walks on the beach to try and feel better, and watching all the people out enjoying the beach without hangovers. It was very isolating.

It's great that you want to make a change. You don't have to drink this weekend - choose the sober morning over the drunk night. That's what I focused on when trying to quit - how good a hangover-free morning will be.

Stay close to SR - there is a lot of support here and folks who have the same experiences you are having. It has helped me tremendously! I now enjoy hangover-free walks on the beach
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Old 05-29-2015, 11:35 PM
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I used to examine people's eyes every morning at work and couldn't believe how clear and fresh they looked. Everyone also looked rested and generally happy.

How would that feel to sleep through the night and come into work feeling good? AKA not hungover? From about 2008-2014 there was not a single day I was not hungover.

I was terribly jealous. I never thought I would ever actually stop drinking alcohol but I did and you can too.

I used to think I was worse, further down in the trenches than everyone on here who had one, two, ten years sober. I really thought that in my drunk, deluded mind. Why could they do it and I couldn't? I had some serious "terminal uniqueness" going on and it kept me drinking.

Cliche, I know, but I just got so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

As someone on here said brilliantly said awhile back, I decided that that even if no human being in the history of mankind had ever stopped drinking alcohol, I was going to be the first.

It's hard at first but you do actually get used to not drinking. It's a much better life.
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Old 05-29-2015, 11:38 PM
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Welcome to the forum...i am very new as well...feel free to contact me for support. Am going through these feelings as well. You are strong remember that. Hang in there. This place is full of caring loving support. We all have your back
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Old 05-29-2015, 11:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
I like to compare it sometimes to a nut allergy, would I really try to make eating nuts work, be jealous of other people that could have nuts, maybe risk my life by moderating my nut intake if a Dr said they were off bounds!! . . . probably not!! For me I needed to reach an acceptance that me and alcohol were incompatible with each other, people are different and this is where I find myself!! Hang in there!!
Excellent perspective. Glad you said this.

I am vegan, and giving up meat and dairy was actually not that hard. Haven't eaten an animal in 5 years. But alcohol is a different story. I need to take the same attitude I have about eating into my drinking. Similar to this analogy you lay out. Thanks!
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Old 05-30-2015, 02:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Beeraholic View Post
Excellent perspective. Glad you said this.

I am vegan, and giving up meat and dairy was actually not that hard. Haven't eaten an animal in 5 years. But alcohol is a different story. I need to take the same attitude I have about eating into my drinking. Similar to this analogy you lay out. Thanks!
Yay, a fellow vegan!

I was talking to another friend in recovery yesterday and she told me that it was screwed up that I was willing to take drugs and drink myself into oblivion, but under no circumstances would I consume animal products, because THAT would be a step too far(!) Bizarre times!
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Old 05-30-2015, 02:36 AM
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I'm in AA and working on step one with my sponsor and a lot of things holding me back in recovery are those feelings of jealousy. I haven't quite gotten over them but I'm trying! I remember the last time I was drunk and how sad and horrible it was and that tends to help.
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Old 05-30-2015, 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted by JaneLane View Post
Yay, a fellow vegan! I was talking to another friend in recovery yesterday and she told me that it was screwed up that I was willing to take drugs and drink myself into oblivion, but under no circumstances would I consume animal products, because THAT would be a step too far(!) Bizarre times!
Plant power!!
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