I don't agree that it's unfair we can't drink alcohol. This is life and everyone has something that they struggle with. In the big picture, not drinking alcohol is not a big deal at all. There are a lot of people much worse off than I am.
I think it's important to focus on yourself in early recovery and not worry whether or not your husband/boyfriend gets it, because he probably won't. Instead use that energy to propel yourself forward in your recovery.