Hey, y'all.
pretty much the coolest ever
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 37
wow. just.. wow. i went to their website and it's really empowering. i'm still scared and anxious about leaving work today but i'm going to see if i can't put this into effect and keep my resolve while i pass the gas station. i've gotta show myself that i can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR! Once you realize you crossed the invisible line, it's time to yank the plug and stop. Everything starts with a day1, and as you pile some days, your confidence will grow.
You got this.
You got this.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Welcome, I'm glad you found us.
I understand the 'habit' aspect of stopping in the same place to buy alcohol each day. I would very easily get into a rut like that and it was hard to stop. I think that if you can force yourself to drive past the gas station a few times, it will become surprisingly easier. As hard as it is, just don't stop. You can do this.
I understand the 'habit' aspect of stopping in the same place to buy alcohol each day. I would very easily get into a rut like that and it was hard to stop. I think that if you can force yourself to drive past the gas station a few times, it will become surprisingly easier. As hard as it is, just don't stop. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Welcome SoberNurse,
I am also on Day 1 today, so we share that in common. You mentioned that you fear being judged by your home group because of your weight gain. You also mentioned that this has become a life and death issue for you, so I would suggest being easy on yourself and trying to let go of any fear of being judged, as this is your life we are talking about. Plus, I would think everyone in the rooms of AA are worried about things they could be judged on as well, as most of us hit that period of incomprehensible demoralization.
I am also on Day 1 today, so we share that in common. You mentioned that you fear being judged by your home group because of your weight gain. You also mentioned that this has become a life and death issue for you, so I would suggest being easy on yourself and trying to let go of any fear of being judged, as this is your life we are talking about. Plus, I would think everyone in the rooms of AA are worried about things they could be judged on as well, as most of us hit that period of incomprehensible demoralization.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Originally Posted by txsobernurse 
i won't ever drink again and i won't ever change my mind.
Looking forward to hear about your night tomorrow, we're rooting for you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Welcome SN,
You have come to the right place. You will find a lot of help here.
Try not to think too far into the future. It might become a bit overwhelming. Rather try and think - I will now drink now, I will not drink today. Baby steps.
Jump on to the weekend bus. It may help you with staying sober this weekend.
Best of luck.
Cheers,
ZAB
You have come to the right place. You will find a lot of help here.
Try not to think too far into the future. It might become a bit overwhelming. Rather try and think - I will now drink now, I will not drink today. Baby steps.
Jump on to the weekend bus. It may help you with staying sober this weekend.
Best of luck.
Cheers,
ZAB
pretty much the coolest ever
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 37
Well, guys, yesterday was incredibly hard. Without going into detail, let me just put it this way: yesterday was my daughter's pre-k graduation and I left early in tears. Her father just happened to be there and he degraded me right in front of her and everyone. He was physically abusive while we were together and now he just sticks to emotional abuse. That's a whole 'nother story, however. Anyway, needless to say I got drunk afterwards. And, although I am disappointed, there were some wins from last night. I had the words in my head all night - I will never drink again no matter what and I will never change my mind - and something just clicked and I didn't want to finish the rest of my liquor. I had just bought it, mind you, and I stumbled to the kitchen and poured the rest out. That is a victory for me considering if it's there, I'd drink it as to not let it waste.
So, as of right now, I will never drink again no matter what. And I will never change my mind. Thank you guys for being so supportive.
So, as of right now, I will never drink again no matter what. And I will never change my mind. Thank you guys for being so supportive.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: rockville
Posts: 126
Don't beat yourself up about last night. It's not easy and figuring it out and takes practice and lots of determination. Most of us have gone back and forth. I know I did. At least 4 times in the last 4 years. The early days are rough. I found this site and it helped me tremendously fighting the early days this time. Post often!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 139
I'm with you- 30lbs overweight, spending all my money on booze. I've started and stopped at least 3 times but each time I learned something. I had my last drink Sunday at 9pm. So that puts me at 106 hrs. I look forward to when I can count in days and then weeks then months.
I was going to suggest going to the gym instead of the gas station, but it seems as if you already have a full plate. I'm still trying to find a hobby that I love and that will keep my mind off of the AV telling me to drink
I was going to suggest going to the gym instead of the gas station, but it seems as if you already have a full plate. I'm still trying to find a hobby that I love and that will keep my mind off of the AV telling me to drink
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Hi TxSoberNurse - Welcome to the forum. May I make a suggestion? You might want to take your photo off your profile for security and privacy reasons. If you are working in a hospital and a co-worker sees your postings, it might jeopardize your job.
pretty much the coolest ever
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 37
Two years ago I had gotten sober and was 127lbs at 5'6". That's a normal weight for me. After a year of wrecking my body with alcohol, I am now 213lbs. It's so embarrassing that I feel ashamed and end up drinking. But not anymore. I'm going back to my life of 5Ks and sobriety.
I figure if I keep telling myself "not anymore, not ever again, no matter what", it'll get easier because the temptation is removed and there's nothing to fight. Hopefully it works.
I figure if I keep telling myself "not anymore, not ever again, no matter what", it'll get easier because the temptation is removed and there's nothing to fight. Hopefully it works.
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