A big test is coming up on 5/20

Old 05-09-2015, 09:20 AM
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A big test is coming up on 5/20

My wife is leaving to California for 10 days on the 20th of this month. I have to stay home and run my business. The last time she left me alone, was 2 winters ago and I tried my hardest to kill myself with alcohol. It was horrible and it changed my life. I do not want to repeat that. But left alone to my own vices I am not sure I can 100% guarantee I will be ok. I can say with 90% confidence I should be fine. But that's not 100. I will likely be "noisy" on this site during those 10 days. I have to. I cannot have another episode like I did in winter of 2013. Happy Mother's Day to everyone. I am cooking steaks for my Mom this afternoon. Looking forward to it.
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Old 05-09-2015, 09:22 AM
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Hi Thomas keep using us for support and be ready for any cravings for picking up.
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Old 05-09-2015, 09:24 AM
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Do your best
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Steaks sounds nice

As for staying sober i advise you to remember the winter of 2013 it will remind you of exactly why your staying sober bud

Plus you have this fantastic support at SR
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Old 05-09-2015, 09:44 AM
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Hi wolf, yes, if I close my eyes and remember my parents (who are 70) standing in my living room while I was crying my eyes out as to what a loser I have amounted to, it should snap me out of it. I was at my "bottom". It was ugly. My poor mom showed up to take me to the airport at 8:30AM and when she showed up I was hammered and just laughed at her and told her there was no way I was in shape to fly. We had to reschedule my ticket at a cost of $100. Drank in the airport bar, on the flight, and when I got to the funeral I was sweating and shaking so bad it was embarrassing. I sat in the pew for 4.5 hours and when I got back to the house I slammed booze to stop shaking and sweating. That is when I realized I had gone too far. Appreciate everyone's support on this site.
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Old 05-09-2015, 09:59 AM
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We are here for you, Jeff, through thick and thin.
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Old 05-09-2015, 10:06 AM
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A Day at a Time
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The problem I see is that you are practicing moderation which statically has a very low success rate. For me I only have two speeds drunk or sober.
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Old 05-09-2015, 10:07 AM
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Stay on SR daily. Make a routine for yourself, particularly for when you're not working and have down time. Early dinners help with cravings- particularly if you have something sweet for desert.
My wife and kids will be traveling this summer and I'll have two weeks alone. I'll join them once my work obligations allow. I'll have 7 months under my belt by that time, but I'll be ramping up efforts to be on here and do other things to ensure there's little chance I'll slip up and drink.
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Old 05-09-2015, 10:24 AM
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I will never achieve my goals if I continue to act like a teenager. I am not. I am an adult with employees. And I plan to conduct myself as such. If that makes any sense.
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Old 05-09-2015, 02:06 PM
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speaking of plans Jeff - why not make one?.

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Old 05-09-2015, 02:09 PM
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Thanks Dee, I will read the thread later this evening. parents are on their way and the grill is warming up. Even talked my brother and his kids into stopping by. I'm pretty excited....and sober. This should be fun.
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