Hi wolf, yes, if I close my eyes and remember my parents (who are 70) standing in my living room while I was crying my eyes out as to what a loser I have amounted to, it should snap me out of it. I was at my "bottom". It was ugly. My poor mom showed up to take me to the airport at 8:30AM and when she showed up I was hammered and just laughed at her and told her there was no way I was in shape to fly. We had to reschedule my ticket at a cost of $100. Drank in the airport bar, on the flight, and when I got to the funeral I was sweating and shaking so bad it was embarrassing. I sat in the pew for 4.5 hours and when I got back to the house I slammed booze to stop shaking and sweating. That is when I realized I had gone too far. Appreciate everyone's support on this site.