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100 days - worried I am getting too comfortable

Old 05-06-2015, 08:45 PM
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100 days - worried I am getting too comfortable

Hi all,
I continue to read the posts on here for support every few days. There is a lot of inspiration here and everyone of you on here is doing a great and courageous thing by contributing.

Today is day 100 for me. I have a wife and two kids and job and a home and I quit drinking because as one poster put on here, its not what I have lost, it is what I have to lose. Most of my inspiration comes from my desire to be a great father and husband. And also to not get a DUI going to cigs at 11pm all hammered.

There have been some tests along the way. I have been honest with many people that I have given up drinking because I didn't have a good braking mechanism and it is better I stop now. All of my friends have been supportive because they know I got after it pretty hard. I have been to two weddings, a couple nights out with the boys and those have been great and were not torture for me (I was an at home drinker). I cant tell you how great it feels to wake up the next day knowing that I didnt get obnoxious and feel like a million bucks. I don't really get the urge to drink when I am around a bunch of people and at this stage, I have created some accountability for myself by letting people know I am off the booze because I have a problem. My mentality has been "If you cant do this by yourself, then you need professional help". So far, it has worked. Also, I feel proud that I am making this effort for myself and my family. It has become my motivation.

My concern is that I am getting a little too comfortable. My wife says she misses the 'hour' when we would have a couple drinks and chat before I started dusting a bottle of makers. Although not an uber supportive statement, I get it, we had fun every week or so for those 'hours'. She doesn't miss all the rest of it and continues to praise me for my sober efforts.

I guess where I am getting a little nervous is that I am starting to get to that place where it looks like I have a handle on all this and maybe I deserve some fun. I know this is not the case, but its my AV trying to trick me. Here is the good news for me, I never had a drink to feel the buzz of a single drink. I drank to get hammered (half to full bottle of whiskey) and then sometimes chase it with an gram of coke (most of this occurred by myself). I wont let that happen.

Thanks again for the continued support of posters. I didnt realize it was 100 days until I counted today. I am very thankful for my sobriety and wish everyone success in their efforts. Know that it gets better to all those early in their journey. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:49 PM
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Congrats on 100 days, that's a great accomplishment you should be very proud of. I come to SR daily to remember why sobriety is so important and to never forget why I came in the first place. Being around newly sober and those still struggling can be very powerul, especially if you can share and maybe even help them .
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:53 PM
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Hi Red,

I can understand how your feeling I am at 117 days. I keep on checking this site and looking back at what I wrote when I was going through withdrawals and it helps me remember how it was. I have had the thoughts "now I am cured" I know it is all BS, just read all the stories of how people have made that mistake over and over.

I was also an at home drinker so it has been pretty easy for me outside of my home life to adjust.

It is funny how quickly we seem to forgot just how awful things used to be not all that long ago.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:55 PM
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Good words, sva, thanks. I know its all BS, but always appreciate hearing it again.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:59 PM
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I do need to keep in plain view all the good things that have happened since I quit booze:
My temper is almost non-existent
Sweating - I used to sweat all day long, most of which occurred from an emotional response (like blushing with sweat) - I don't sweat outside of the gym
I am in full control of my workday
I eat better
I sleep almost 7.5 hours and go to bed at the same time
I don't have the 'alcoholic' anxiety - it used to own me
Many many other good things

thanks,
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:04 PM
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When I start to feel like that it helps me to be mindful of not only reasons I quit drinking but to remind myself reasons why I choose to stay sober. And if I'm having one particularly bad day I will check in with the 24 hour club and make a promise to stay sober no matter what for the next 24 hours. Tomorrow is not now. I can only stay sober one minute at a time anyway. We can't live more than one moment at the same time.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:05 PM
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Originally Posted by redheadinus View Post
I do need to keep in plain view all the good things that have happened since I quit booze:
My temper is almost non-existent
Sweating - I used to sweat all day long, most of which occurred from an emotional response (like blushing with sweat) - I don't sweat outside of the gym
I am in full control of my workday
I eat better
I sleep almost 7.5 hours and go to bed at the same time
I don't have the 'alcoholic' anxiety - it used to own me
Many many other good things

thanks,

Of all the things you just mentioned, I had most of them.

The sweating is gone
The anxiety is so much less.
Sleep 8 hours no problem
Temper way more even
My wife says I snore way less
I don't get heartburn anymore basically
My concentration has improved.

these are just some things.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:13 PM
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Forgot the heartburn and snoring - also gone for the most part. Good call SVA.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:51 PM
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Yeah, heartburn and snoring, don't miss them. If you're on your guard, you possibly won't relapse although the urge can take you by surprise. It happens to me even now (>3yrs) but I know I can handle it.

I suggest you make a special time with your wife, just like before, but without alcohol. You could go for a walk, work on a jigsaw puzzle, learn a new dance, even gourmet cook a new recipe together. The possibilities are endless.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:55 PM
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Hi redheadinus

I worried about it too - for a while - then I realised I had the power, not my addiction.

Nothing and noone can make me drink unless I allow it.
I never allow it

If I don't want to drink, I don't have to...and neither do you

D
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Old 05-07-2015, 02:01 AM
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Congratulations!

I think it's good to note your concerns. I watched myself slip off into a 1.5 year bender after I got too comfortable with 5 months sobriety.

It can be so tiring and easy to think 'I've got this. Just needed a break'

Last night at a beach fire a drunken friend, reeking of hours and hours of beer, sat slurping another beer and telling me how he needed to get back in shape. Had lost energy, felt defeated and down. He called me inspirational - focusing on my early am
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Old 05-07-2015, 02:04 AM
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That posted too early.....

My early am workouts. Then he mentioned how he'd 'sobered up' a few years ago. Went to a bunch of meetings. Then it was back to talking about working out. 'Something's gotta change' he said, over and over. 'Maybe I just need more exercise....'

In that moment I was reminded how easily I could be there. I told him how things had shifted for me. How much better my life was now that I embraced sobriety - not because of what I had to lose, but because of all I've gained......
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:02 AM
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Congrats on 100 days sober!
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:12 AM
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What D said was spot on fantastic achievement on 100 days well done you !
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